Pediophile Party

Originally posted by Palynka
You're diverting the attention. The idea of protecting minors has nothing to do with physical maturity, but mental one. I may understand that a physically mature girl can seem attractive to an adult, but that doesn't mean she is ready mentally for determining consent.

This is more or less what I'm saying. That physical maturity is besides the point. It's psychological maturity that matters in this case.

We seem to disagree on what that means. You seem to think that age is a perfectly reasonable measurement of maturity whereas I don't think it is. It's so different from person to person how fast we mature and at what age we wish to begin exploring different aspects of being. That's why I don't think it's a very good protection to say that under a certain age you're not allowed to do this or that. It's better to talk openly with the child, answer any questions (s)he might have and not get all judgemental and upset when (s)he makes a bad call, but supportive and understanding.

If the bad call is having sex with a grownup and then regret it, don't judge that grownup too hard either. At least not automatically. Get to know him/her and figure out what really happened first. And help your child get through those feelings of regret.

Because logically, if physical age is not a spot on indicator of maturity, that 21 year old man/woman may actually not be much more mature about sex than your 14 year old daughter/son. See? Who will be helped then, if you shout "PEDOPHILE", work hard to place him/her behind bars while completely ignoring your child's real needs and telling him/her that what happened was wrong and it's good that (s)he's now experiencing regrets?

Noone. The person placed behind bars will be bitter and ashamed, possibly held back further in his/her sexual development (or educated most harshly). Your child will be extremely confused for a long time. And you will be unhappy because this whole thing took a lot of strength from you emotionally.

I'm not saying that I wouldn't lift an eyebrow if I heard about some 13 year old in a sexual relationship with a 22 year old (say). It's hard to imagine they could have much in common. But I wouldn't automatically assume that the grownup is a sexual offender of the worst kind and the child is perfectly innocent and lured into a trap. It's most probable, but not necessarily the truth. And I'd want the truth rather than some maintained social order.

I think this is an area where we have a lot to learn on how to protect our next generation from being taken advantage of. Mostly because we put the same label on a despicable person using others for his/her own pleasure as we do on someone who actually cares and mean well but still manages to hurt someone else. I think in the latter case, there's still hope that things can turn for the better. I also strongly believe that being judgemental and crazy about it won't accomplish that.

Originally posted by Palynka
Did you read my post (replying to you) where I explained that age is used as a legal proxy for maturity? I'd love to hear your reply and explain how you would compatibilize those greytones with the need for legislation.

I'm terribly sorry, but I can't seem to find that post. Perhaps I'm too tired now. 😕 Would you mind linking to it?

Originally posted by Palynka
Calling backwards to those that disagree with you and bundling them in one group is also forgetting about the "greytones" you were talking about.

By backwards, do you mean what I said about backwards thinking? I didn't mean to put everyone who disagrees with me in the same bundle. I meant to point out that there's more to every situation then what can immediately be judged based on a few simple facts. Minor and Major in bed is bad because Minor is an innocent being completely unprepared for sheetaction and Major is a dirty, despicable person who knew exactly how old and unprepared Minor was.

See what I mean? Greytones is all those cases that should have us stop and think before we pass judgement. If indeed Major is as bad as were initially assumed, I see no reason to go easy on him/her. Otherwise, there are more constructive solutions to the problem (if indeed it is perceived as a problem for either of Minor or Major).

Originally posted by sasquatch672
You're a goofball.

That I am. I'm trying not to be, though. I take it that, in your opinion I'm not doing too well?

That's sad because despite your irrational comments on Coconut all over the place (of course, I don't know what's been said between the two of you earlier) I think a lot of your posting makes a lot of sense. And therefore I cannot call you a goofball. I will have to stick with partial fool, if that's all the same to you?

Edit: Assuming goofball means complete idiot. I couldn't actually find the word in the dictionary (surprise).

Originally posted by sasquatch672
You're a goofball.

And you, my feathered friend, are so nearly not!!

Originally posted by sasquatch672
I Hereby Proclaim You Goofball of RHP For July 19.

I'm so proud! :'(🙂






I think. 😕

Originally posted by 7ate9
i always got the impression people started these types of threads to control the system, and don't really even care about the children that have been abused.

There's a system???

Originally posted by stocken
This is more or less what I'm saying. That physical maturity is besides the point. It's psychological maturity that matters in this case.

We seem to disagree on what that means. You seem to think that age is a perfectly reasonable measurement of maturity whereas I don't think it is. It's so different from person to person how fast we mature and at what a ...[text shortened]... believe that being judgemental and crazy about it won't accomplish that.

This is a misrepresentation of what I've said. You can find my post on page 4, it's the second one from the top up.

Your view puts the responsibility on someone who is not fit for having it and you also forget that adults are seen as authority figures by children and are therefore easily manipulated into consent. This is why consent is not a good measure of the willingness of the child.