Originally posted by Jay PeateaHmmmm....very interesting, teaching young children that life is always about fairness and equality. My kids (10 and 7) tried that with me once.
I've got two kids 8 & 6, one of each, everytime I pour them a glass of coke or cut them a piece of cake. Regardless of how accurate I pour or cut, they're always squabbling over who got the bigger measure. I was telling this to my friend, and he gave me an interesting solution to the problem. Get one of them to do the pouring or cutting on the understan ...[text shortened]... oying they are when they're squabbling, so if you've got any good ideas please post them up 🙂
I took both items away from both kids, redistributed a great big portion to the older child and a small portion to the younger child, which resulted in tears, and then said lifes not fair. She's bigger, she gets the bigger piece.
My kids never squabbled about who got more ever again.
Doesn't seem fair to me. I mean, it can't possible be to the younger sibling's fault or the older sibling's credit hat one is older than the other.
Why not divide the pieces/toys/etc... evenly using your own judgement, then take a portion away from kid who complains first/second/third...
Eventually, you can teach them not to complain untill they can haggle like a lawyer. I think it's better than having them expect everything to be fair.
Originally posted by TetsujinMy point exactly. Where does it end? Your kid goes to school and it's not fair the other students get better marks than me? They should all get the same and equal marks?
Doesn't seem fair to me.
Your kid gets a job and another employee gets a well deserved raise or promotion it's not fair. Everone should make the same amount and they should all be supervisors?
Life is not fair. And if kids want to complain then it's only fair you give em something to complain about. 😛
Originally posted by mokkoYour crotch spawn's hatred for each other will only be overcome by their joint hate of their trailer renting mother.
My point exactly. Where does it end? Your kid goes to school and it's not fair the other students get better marks than me? They should all get the same and equal marks?
Your kid gets a job and another employee gets a well deserved raise or promotion it's not fair. Everone should make the same amount and they should all be supervisors?
Life is not fair. And if kids want to complain then it's only fair you give em something to complain about. 😛
Thanks both of those ideas could work also. I don't think that the end result of the method that my friend suggested would be to teach my kids to expect thats life should be fair. It just seems to me to be a smarter way to acheive the same the result but without a need for a punishment. Plus I think by envolving the kids in the sharing, can only be a good thing, helping them to understand the whole sharing process.
I gave it a try today with some icecream, my youngest who did the sharing, started to complain that her brother had more. I only had to remind her who did the sharing and she stopped straight away.
Mokko I wonder what would happen if you delibrately gave your children an unequal portion? Say give the youngest twice the size of the oldest. My guess is that such an obvious unequal portion would result in some serious complaining from the oldest sibling.
Yeah, Mokko, your method seems a little harsh. It seems like it would just teach your kids not to complain or try to change things for the better and just shut up and accept the status quo. Maybe that is the point, but it seems like an awful view on life to be forcing on kids. It might make your job as a parent easier, but what about when they become adults. I think there is too much of that in society in general sometimes. No one ever improved the world by thinking it was better not to try. And life may not always be fair, but shouldn't that be the goal? Isn't that the whole point of a legal system, to make things more fair?
Originally posted by Jay PeateaActually, that's how it worked in my house when I was a kid. Worked pretty well I must say, lol.
I've got two kids 8 & 6, one of each, everytime I pour them a glass of coke or cut them a piece of cake. Regardless of how accurate I pour or cut, they're always squabbling over who got the bigger measure. I was telling this to my friend, and he gave me an interesting solution to the problem. Get one of them to do the pouring or cutting on the understan ...[text shortened]... oying they are when they're squabbling, so if you've got any good ideas please post them up 🙂
I have to confess, I had this problem once with my boys. This is how it went:
Poured each a glass of.....something I can't remember (coke/koolaid/tasty beverage of some sort. One complained the older had more. I said 'ok' and switched their glasses. The other made same complaint, I said 'ok' and took away both glasses and poured them down the drain. I then said to them, "Now you both have exactly the same, beyond question." The bickering of who has more has.......significantly diminished. 😀
We do use the old rule of the pourer/cutter/etc chooses last. Of course, I remember when I was a kid I got the smart idea of cutting the entire cake into the pieces=equal to the number of people eating, thusly ensuring a phenomenal portion. Didn't fly to well with the parents, but was worth a shot. lol.
Anyway, thanks for the trip down memory lane. Fellow parent, I salute you. 🙂
Best Regards,
Omnislash
Originally posted by Jay PeateaI am sure the method will work. However you also need to teach them that they dont need to be selfish and competitive all the time. Try to get them to offer the bigger piece to the other. Teach them the joy of giving.
I've got two kids 8 & 6, one of each, everytime I pour them a glass of coke or cut them a piece of cake. Regardless of how accurate I pour or cut, they're always squabbling over who got the bigger measure. I was telling this to my friend, and he gave me an interesting solution to the problem. Get one of them to do the pouring or cutting on the understan ...[text shortened]... oying they are when they're squabbling, so if you've got any good ideas please post them up 🙂
Originally posted by mokkoIt ends where it needs to end.
My point exactly. Where does it end? Your kid goes to school and it's not fair the other students get better marks than me? They should all get the same and equal marks?
Your kid gets a job and another employee gets a well deserved raise or promotion it's not fair. Everone should make the same amount and they should all be supervisors?
Life is not fair. And if kids want to complain then it's only fair you give em something to complain about. 😛
With my method the authoritative figure makes the decision, and then those concerned can raise the issue when they learn that simply complaining won't get the job done.
It'll be a learning process when you have the problem, rather than simply expecting everything to become fair.
Originally posted by UmbrageOfSnowLittle harsh? Mabye...but I have very well behaved children and not whining screaming monsters so I'll just stick with the harsh methods.
Yeah, Mokko, your method seems a little harsh. It seems like it would just teach your kids not to complain or try to change things for the better and just shut up and accept the status quo. Maybe that is the point, but it seems like an awful view on life to be forcing on kids. It might make your job as a parent easier, but what about when they becom ...[text shortened]... n't that be the goal? Isn't that the whole point of a legal system, to make things more fair?
There's no point in catering and spoiling kids wich will only turn them into unbearable adults that nobody wants to be around either. As long as you give them lots of hugs and kisses and encouragement do you think kids really care about how much cake they've gotten? No, they're only pushing buttons and testing boundaries.
I think they benefit alot more learning exactly where the boundaries are and what buttons are not going to be pushed. It's also a great quality to teach a child to be gratefull for you you get and not to worry about what anybody else has. Ever hear of the "keeping up with the jones" syndrome? Puts many an adult into debt and desolution.
Thank God for the little bit you have today because tomorrow you may have nothing at all.
Originally posted by sasquatch672So... what you're saying is that I can't comment on kids and parenting untill I have kids of my own?
Do you have kids, Tet? (Probably not, since you hate sex so much.) If you do, why don't you worry about your own, and stop trying to tell other people how to live their lives? If you don't, why don't you...hell, just stop trying to tell other people how to live their lives?
I dunno. Just me.
Gee... that doesn't seem fair to me.
So let's all just ignore each other's advice and have a few kids of our own. Then, after we've made a few dozen mistakes and compared notes on how well/bad our kids are doing, we can try to get our 7th or 8th kids right.
That's wonderful.
But wait, I just forgot, you're in charge of the universe right? I mean, I can't discuss a subject that is relatively new to me because I won't have any credibility. Right? I mean, "it's do things now and ask questions later" and not "measure twice, cut once".
I guess I should be glad. I'll be living in my own little world by myself, while you tell people what to do.
I guess that's cool.
I don't know, just me.
PS: It's an analogy, not non sequitur.