18 Jun 05
Originally posted by wucky3OK, since you brought it up, I will share my theory with you and whoever else wants to listen. We end up marrying (or hooking up) with partners who happen to have the worst traits of one of our parents. Why is this you ask.
in other words as crazy as you
It is because that we are operating on some deep unconscious level to resolve conflicts with our parents by seeking out similarly crazy partners. So remember this when you feel that feelin. There's mo to it than ya think.
18 Jun 05
Originally posted by kirksey957i once called my ex dad by mistake...cripes knows what freud would make of that
OK, since you brought it up, I will share my theory with you and whoever else wants to listen. We end up marrying (or hooking up) with partners who happen to have the worst traits of one of our parents. Why is this you ask.
It is because that we are operating on some deep unconscious level to resolve conflicts with our parents by seeking out similarl ...[text shortened]... razy partners. So remember this when you feel that feelin. There's mo to it than ya think.
18 Jun 05
Originally posted by wucky3There you go, provin my point better than I could. It's just inevitable. There's no way around it.
i once called my ex dad by mistake...cripes knows what freud would make of that
Let me get back to RB fo a second. I believe that he will not find a godly woman. I believe he will find a woman that he needs to convert. Maybe not go to church much like his momma. I'm not making fun, but only trying to help him see how this works.
19 Jun 05
Originally posted by kirksey957Common thought but not correct. You can throw money at relationships and get no where. The more you have the more you fight over it.
money
To stay together couples must...
1. Realise relationship contentment levels go up through happy courtship then down from the moment they partner....
2. To keep levels up both must communicate actively and allot time for this... not when you both walk in the door from work.
3. Both should understand and embrace the importance of mutuality and individuality.. There should be fun and down time both alone and together. If you've had a bad day and need space recognise it and take some time out but always talk about it when you're ready.
4. The vast majority of marriages/partnerships fail if children are born in the first two years. The first two years are formative years in the relationship. Couples should make plans, enjoy time together doing coupling things...travel etc. Planning a family is part of planning during the first two years but ... no kids until a firm financial base and plan has been mutually agreed.
5. Couples must know the difference between love making and sex and should recognise and allow time for both.
6. Time should be set aside regularly for assessing and reassessing plans and the happiness levels per #1. Neither partner should be afraid to ask hard questions or express criticism and the neither should retire from such or take it personally. Tell each other how you feel about each other and discuss any differences from the last time you assessed.. make adjustments for improvement.
This is the gist of what they tell you at marriage or separation counselling. Trouble is it should be taught before marriage.. even at school. It's too late in most cases when a marriage comes off the rails.
When you are younger you don't realise how important or how difficult an art communication is.... and we never stop learning it.