Once upon a time there were three friars who retired from their monastery and opened a floral shop in a small village. One day the children went into the backyard of the shop and were eaten by a plant the friars were growing there. The townspeople were incensed and tried to get the friars to remove it, and of course, the friars would have no such thing. So, the townspeople held a meeting and elected Hugh, the town's blacksmith, to run the friars out of town.
MORAL OF STORY: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
A man goes into a restaurant and orders the squid. Jervais, the chef takes him over to the fish tank and asks him to choose his victim. The man opts for a small wimpy looking specimen with a fuzzy green moustache. Jervais thinks this is an odd choice but nevertheless takes it in to the kitchen and finds a knife with which to part the invertebrate from its mortal coil. Just as he's about to bring down the knife the squid throws its little tentacles up in the air and offers a heartfelt plea for mercy saying it has a lovely wife and 3 kids to look after. Jervais is touched to the point of tears and as such cannot do the deed. So he goes over to the burly Scandinavian dish washer, Hans and asks him to do it for him. Hans strides purposefully back to the squid and brings the knife up for the killer blow, but once again the squid throws up its little tentacles and pleads softly for its life. Hans is also too emotionally affeected to finish the job and so they decide to swap the squid and give the diner another instead.
The moral of this story:
Now Hans that does dishes can be soft as Jervais, with mild, green hairy lip squid.
This is sadly not original, but still good:
Mahatma Ghandi, as we all know, was asthetic who walked barefoot most of the time, and because of his frequent fasting unfortunately suffered from bad breath.
To his friends he was known as the Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with hallitosis.
Sorry!
(No insult intended to my Indian friends!) 😀
Originally posted by KneverKnightdid you ramble on? or lambaste the others and goat them with sarcastic barbs? or were they intimidated by the sheer genius of your remarks?
After sheepishly posting in an animal forum, I was wondering if my arguments were too wild and wooly, whether my efforts would be wrecked or deemed baad