Originally posted by FleabittenBILLY MAYS HERE
BACK IN THE GRAVE, HAS-BEEN, OR YOU'LL GET A SLAP-CHOP!
I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE BIG CITY SLIDER - NO MORE SQUISHIN' AND SQUASHIN', OR FLIPPIN' AND FLOPPIN' WITH THE BIG CITY SLIDER, JUST SCOOP, PRESS AND COOK RIGHT ON YOUR STOVE. USE DINNER ROLLS, POTATO ROLLS, OR ANY BUN! YOU CAN DOUBLE OR TRIPLE STACK 'EM AND WATCH YOUR FAMILY ATTACK 'EM!
CALL NOW AND RECEIVE THE BIG CITY SLIDER STATION WITH MEASURING SCOOP FOR JUST 19.99! WE'LL ALSO INCLUDE THE SLIDER STATION RECIPE GUIDE LOADED WITH MY FAVORITE CREATIONS ABSOLUTELY FREE.
CALL NOW
Hey, folks. Got a bloated, cocaine-riddled corpse of a former pitchman lying on your living room floor and don't know what to do with it? Don't worry, the SLAP-CHOP will solve all of your problems.
Watch. With just a little slap the SLAP-CHOP makes sausage out of those fingers. Throw some nutmeg in there and you've got breakfast for the kids. The Malaysians make it, so you know it has to be good. Pay attention because we're going to go theough this fast. Are you with me camera-guy? Heavy duty grinding of femurs? No problem, the SLAP-CHOP can handle it. Liumberjack beard hair? No sweat. This thing slaps itself. Like my cool looking headset? Me, too.
Puddle of blood on the floor? No problem. Call within the next ten minutes because, you know, we can't do this all day, and I'll throw in a SHAM-WOW to clean up the mess. That's the SLAP-CHOP and the SHAM-WOW all in one package that would make Eskimos sweat. Call now.
1-800-BILLY-B-GONE