20 Jan 09
Originally posted by AcemasterCongrats! You have a plastic bag full of computer keys....whatever. However I find them after I break into your house and cover them in gasoline and light them on fire individually and watch them burn.
Shazaam! More people post on this thread. Unfortunately, your wishes are corrupted so many times that you go crazy and drown yourself in the fluid that oozed out of somebody's giant nuts.
I wish I had a plastic bag full of computer keys. And they can be mine, I don't care. 😉
I wish that my computer wasn't 10 years old.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by beatlemaniaBehold!
Congrats! You have a plastic bag full of computer keys....whatever. However I find them after I break into your house and cover them in gasoline and light them on fire individually and watch them burn.
I wish that my computer wasn't 10 years old.
Your computer is no longer ten years old. It's a thirty year old Amiga. At least you have 4k of memory on it.
I wish Salma Hayek was my mistress. My very active mistress.
20 Jan 09
1 edit
Originally posted by FleabittenCongrats! Salma is your VERY ACTIVE mistress. However she's a fitness trainer, and forces you to train with her all day long or else you won't get your 2 nights of sex a week.
Behold!
Your computer is no longer ten years old. It's a thirty year old Amiga. At least you have 4k of memory on it.
I wish Salma Hayek was my mistress. My very active mistress.
I wish I had 19 bottles of whiteout, you know the stuff you use to cover up your writing mistakes.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by beatlemaniaBOOM! You have 19 bottles of a whiteout. Unfortunately, you are in the middle of the LA gay district. Immediately, 19 gay guys run up to you, grab your white out, and start painting you... all over... everywhere... everything... all of it...
Congrats! Salma is your VERY ACTIVE mistress. However she's a fitness trainer, and forces you to train with all day long or else you won't get your 2 nights of sex a week.
I wish I had 19 bottles of whiteout, you know the stuff you use to cover up your writing mistakes.
Looks like writing mistakes aren't the only thing it covers up.
I was I was telephone. But not just any telephone. I wish I was Paris Hilton's telephone, and that it's the one she talks to her boyfriends on. And then, I could call up all my phone friends and tell them all the juicy stuff! And, I want eyes! Yeah! Eyes! And I'm in her bedroom! So I can see her change clothes! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by AcemasterWow, can I be the answering machine that sits next to you, and I want a PHOTOGRAPHIC memory.
BOOM! You have 19 bottles of a whiteout. Unfortunately, you are in the middle of the LA gay district. Immediately, 19 gay guys run up to you, grab your white out, and start painting you... all over... everywhere... everything... all of it...
Looks like writing mistakes aren't the only thing it covers up.
I was I was telephone. But not just any teleph ...[text shortened]... eyes! Yeah! Eyes! And I'm in her bedroom! So I can see her change clothes! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Anyways, the day after you become Paris's telephone, she gains 150 lbs, and after I jump off the table and break into a million pieces, you have no one to comfort and you ring yourself into miserable oblivion, however, you continue to exist long after Paris dies of obesity.
I wish that I had 5 lbs. of Taco Bell napkins.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by beatlemaniaKaboom! You have 5 pounds of Taco Bell napkins. But, you begin going crazy. You hallucinate that the French chihuahua on each napkins jumps into life... and it isn't happy. You go crazy and die of a heart attack.
Wow, can I be the answering machine that sits next to you, and I want a PHOTOGRAPHIC memory.
Anyways, the day after you become Paris's telephone, she gains 150 lbs, and after I jump off the table and break into a million pieces, you have no one to comfort and you ring yourself into miserable oblivion, however, you continue to exist long after Paris dies of obesity.
I wish that I had 5 lbs. of Taco Bell napkins.
I wish I could fart whenever I wanted.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by AcemasterCongrats! You can fart on command, you can also not fart whenever you want. However, you are instantly catapulted into Hollywood for some random reason and never have the chance to fart at all. This causes an abnormal buildup of methane in your body until you inflate to the point that you float away into space, however once you exit the earth's atmosphere, you instantly explode and you half burnt remnants fall to Earth.
Kaboom! You have 5 pounds of Taco Bell napkins. But, you begin going crazy. You hallucinate that the French chihuahua on each napkins jumps into life... and it isn't happy. You go crazy and die of a heart attack.
I wish I could fart whenever I wanted.
I wish I had every Beatles CD there was.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by beatlemaniaYou now have ever Beatles CD there ever was. Over two million copies made of some of them, and now, they're all yours. The farty godmother grants your wish, and she sprinkles all your billions of cd's all over your house, with little multicolored parachutes attached to each.
Congrats! You can fart on command, you can also not fart whenever you want. However, you are instantly catapulted into Hollywood for some random reason and never have the chance to fart at all. This causes an abnormal buildup of methane in your body until you inflate to the point that you float away into space, however once you exit the earth's atmosp ...[text shortened]... explode and you half burnt remnants fall to Earth.
I wish I had every Beatles CD there was.
In spite of the slow descent, you know that you will soon be buried alive! You run and run as fast as you can, but you wished that YOU had them. The farty godmother makes the wind blow them into your direction, and eventually, you are completely buried alive. But not for long. Soon, you will kill yourself of craziness, for, not only are you stuck within plastic for eternity, but you forgot your headphones. Awww...
I wish I had a plastic clown stuffed up my butt.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by AcemasterWow.....wierd. anyways, a plastic clown is perfectly placed up your butt, however, it has a little camera lens in it, and you are curled up into a ball............unconcious.......... you are having a colonoscopy done to you.
You now have ever Beatles CD there ever was. Over two million copies made of some of them, and now, they're all yours. The farty godmother grants your wish, and she sprinkles all your billions of cd's all over your house, with little multicolored parachutes attached to each.
In spite of the slow descent, you know that you will soon be buried alive! You ru ...[text shortened]... y, but you forgot your headphones. Awww...
I wish I had a plastic clown stuffed up my butt.
I wish I had 38 pens.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by beatlemaniaDid a wish to have a clown placed in one's posterior really need any further corruption?
Wow.....wierd. anyways, a plastic clown is perfectly placed up your butt, however, it has a little camera lens in it, and you are curled up into a ball............unconcious.......... you are having a colonoscopy done to you.
I wish I had 38 pens.
Anyway...Bam! You have thirty eight pens. Unfortuantely, they are thirty eight fully populated pig pens right outside your home. The board of health is on the way, and they've got some questions...
I wish I was made of titanium.
20 Jan 09
You have 38 pens! The farty godmother gives them to you as she rolls her eyes.
You are very happy with your pens! So happy, in fact, that you dance around merrily, with all of them in your pocket. Lucy, Alice, Marta, Derrek, Marshall, Avery, James, Laura, Anna, Vera, Mona, John, Ivan, Mario, Cecelia, Mitch, Chuck, Danny, David, Happy, Dorky, Dehlia, Gail, Hart, Poopy, Smelly, Samantha, Jesse, Malva, Lesl, Victoria, Michelle, Hannah, Theresa, Janet, Kate, Koo, Jay, and Jerome lay peacefully in your pocket as you dance around the playground. Little children laugh as you happily dance around with them.
Then, one of the big, mean kids knocks you over. You feel a stabbing pain in your groin. Apparently, a joint effort between Ivan, Victoria, and Dorky stabbed you... right there. You will never be the same again.
I wish I drank nitric acid when I was 2 and 1 half years old and survived.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by FleabittenCongrats! You are made of solid titanium. And for some odd reason you immediately have the urge to skydive. After you leap out off the plane and fall for a ways you pull your ripcord and..........uh-oh......... your parachute rips to shreds because you weigh SO much. As you plummet towards the earth at hunders of miles an hour, you think, oh well, I'm solid metal I should be ok... wrong!! On impact not only do you create a crater the size of New Jersey, you also hit the ground so hard that you molecularly dismantle.
Did a wish to have a clown placed in one's posterior really need any further corruption?
Anyway...Bam! You have thirty eight pens. Unfortuantely, they are thirty eight fully populated pig pens right outside your home. The board of health is on the way, and they've got some questions...
I wish I was made of titanium.
Ok, first wish corrupted, now for my next victim. 😀
Congrats! You somehow survived your odd childhood experience with nitric acid and continue to live life as a happy, dumb 2.5 year old, a few years down the road however, you begin to have extremely painful heartburn. A visit to the doctor reveals that you have acid reflux diease. What makes your case so bad however, is the fact that doctors around the globe have never seen it to this degree. It's even worse than the 90 year old Mexicans who have eaten Jalapenoes ever since they started eating solid foods. A diagnosis tells that what's left of your esophagus will disintegrate anyday now. 2 weeks later......you guessed it, it happened. You begin to have difficulty breathing until you suffocate 5 hours later.
I wish that I had a electrical pencil sharpener.
20 Jan 09
POW!!! You have an electrical pencil sharpener! The farty godmother is beginning to hate you, though. She gives you the incredibly urge to stick all your fingers into it! In fact, she made you do it two 11 different appendages! You stick in all your fingers, all your toes, and... something else...
I wish I had 1,788,772,220 life jackets.
20 Jan 09
Originally posted by AcemasterCongrats! You given now given 2 billion life jackets by the farty godmother, not 1,788,772,220 life jackets because she's too lazy to be that specific. Anyways, the farty godmother and all of her other fairy tale friends aka; santa, the easter bunny, cupid and all the others are bored, so Father Time ( being the most bored because he's existed forever) says "Hey, why don't we have a throwing contest and try to hit this moron on the head with these life jackets?" Instantly the whole group agrees. So after they get your in their sights, they begin to throw life jackets at you repeatly, as you run away you are eventually knocked unconsious and covered by 2 billion....you guessed it!....death jackets.
POW!!! You have an electrical pencil sharpener! The farty godmother is beginning to hate you, though. She gives you the incredibly urge to stick all your fingers into it! In fact, she made you do it two 11 different appendages! You stick in all your fingers, all your toes, and... something else...
I wish I had 1,788,772,220 life jackets.
I wish I had a bag of potato chips.