I attended a small barbeque gathering downtown last night. A good way into a bottle of Absolute One and covered with barbeque sauce, I was confronted by a fiesty little blonde that proclaimed me one of the "Cow Oppresors"... I responded very eloquently, "Whaht?!"... "Sandra" went on to explain that she was a member of PETA and vehemently oppossed to the consumption meat... almost without a breath, she went into great detail explaining the damage to the environment raising cattle, destroying the rainforests, methane production, inhumane conditions and, ultimately, the slaughtering and unsanitary/unhealthy consumption of beef.
I then proposed my cunning plan to mobilize PETA and destroy the beef/cow oppression industry.
Step One: Identify the largest domestic beef producer.. I suggested the King Ranch as it has a historical and lasting impact on beef production and it is larger than Rhode Island.
Step Two: Picket the property and attempt to, in Ghandi like fashion, stop all shipments and deliveries from the facility.. this may prove difficult considering the size of the ranch and the fact that bleeding heart liberal pansies like PETA don't have the staying power required to execute such an operation on a long term basis.
Step Three: Facing failure of Step Two, I suggested the methodical and deliberate poisoning/execution of all Cows on the King Ranch... Sandra was shocked by this proposal... still, I got her calmed down and pointed out that the Cows are already suffering horribly and a peaceful/quick end to their lives of slavery is the most humane course of action... I also pointed out that PETA euthanizes thousands of stray/injured dogs and cats every year for exactly the same reasons... I pointed out that we needed to way the cost of a few thousand animals against the greater good of millions. Obviously destroying the econmoic viability of one of the countries largest beef producers would drive prices out of the reach of consumers, draw huge publicity and, perhaps, break the beef industries inhumane stranglehold.
Much to my dismay Sandra passionately agreed with me and immediately stormed of with a determined look to mobilize the Anti-Cow Oppressors.... Perhaps I should be worried... but, for now, I'm going to enjoy my succulent portehouse steak and twice baked potato with a cold glass of Fosters.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateYou should have showed her this: http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/cowswithguns.php
I attended a small barbeque gathering downtown last night. A good way into a bottle of Absolute One and covered with barbeque sauce, I was confronted by a fiesty little blonde that proclaimed me one of the "Cow Oppresors"... I responded very eloquently, "Whaht?!"... "Sandra" went on to explain that she was a member of PETA and vehemently oppossed to ...[text shortened]... enjoy my succulent portehouse steak and twice baked potato with a cold glass of Fosters.
probably the best idea ever
Originally posted by Hand of Hecateyou evil, evil man. 😵
I attended a small barbeque gathering downtown last night. A good way into a bottle of Absolute One and covered with barbeque sauce, I was confronted by a fiesty little blonde that proclaimed me one of the "Cow Oppresors"... I responded very eloquently, "Whaht?!"... "Sandra" went on to explain that she was a member of PETA and vehemently oppossed to ...[text shortened]... enjoy my succulent portehouse steak and twice baked potato with a cold glass of Fosters.