** NEWS FLASH **
The extraterrestrials who came to earth last week announced that they 'have the right to dend themselves' against the communist right wing government of the USA, and that they are going to LIBERATE ALL THE ENSLAVED AMERICAN PEOPLE under the slavery of the Bush administration! As mentioned last week, the aliens demanded that the Bush administration turn over the 9th dimensional bomb, which could reach their planet within 15 minutes...
Even though the Bush administration said they had no such WMD's, the aliens have set up their attack - to defend themselves and free the American people.
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WMD Found In Iraq!
After a year of intensive search, WMDs have finally been discovered in Iraq by a team of international weapons inspectors. The discovery of 40 nuclear missiles, made on Saturday morning, has caught the attention of the world.
Each missile, clearly marked "Property of the United States of America", is pointed at Iran.
George W Bush wins Noble peace prize.
George W Bush has won the Noble Peace Prize, after all nominees for the award were accussed of carrying WMDs on their person.
Said Bush at the ceremony "Even though not one person voted for me, or even nominated me, it does not matter - I won fair and square. I am sure that the intelligence reports are correct that all the nominated persons are carrying biological weapons will be verified soon."
LIBERALS ACROSS THE UNITED STATES HAVE STOPPED WHINING
Numerous sources throughout the country have reported that liberal American pundits and their sheep have stopped whining about everything. One anonymous source even reports that some of them are actually accepting blame for their own misfortunes. In an unconfirmed story, 3 of them have apparently applied for jobs.
George W. Bush has been arrested for war crimes!!! This came after one of his constituents broke down in public and said, "I can't lie to the American people anymore. The overall plan was to intentionally cause the Social Security system to collapse, so that we could get the popular vote to make changes.. which would result in business to get their hands on the working man's money."