Originally posted by kirksey957It could have been funny. It's basically a classic concept destroyed by over-acting and just too much stupid humour instead of wittisisms.
Today I will review what I consider is an excellent movie in the humor department. "Me, Myself, and Irene" starring Jim Carey and Rene Zellwanger is a movie that had me rollin. Carey plays a highway patrolman that just snaps in a funny kind of way. He's just a nice guy that everybody takes advantage of.......until. He's got him three illegitima ...[text shortened]... tivity and use of animals in roles you don't often see. Ole Yellar should have been so lucky.
Carey has managed to become the total piss-take on himself. Something few can ever achieve. I don't know whether to applaud him or weep in sorrow.
I would have given the film a 7 out of 10, but because they wasted such a great oppertunity, I'm gonna have to give it a 6.
Maybe they should have replaced Carey with Al Pacino...
OK, today I'm gonna review a diffrent kind a movie. I'm gonna review "Chris Rock, Neva Scared." Dis here movie is a stand up act and I highly recommend it if fo nothin else some solid relational and life advice. Hearin this brotha wax eloquently sort of reminded me of mysef. You already know what I think of Michael Jackson and that damn dysfunctional family of his. Brotha Chris lays out truth all through dis here movie. Thinkin about gettin married? Betta listen to dis here preacha/comic. Sit yo fiance down and listen good. Hard truth here fo ya. He talks about strippas, niggas, rappas, money, marriage, sex (or tha lack of it if we talkin marriage), and da govament.
Look, I'm a preacha as some of ya know, so take some good advice from me and I think Br. Rwingett would even say "Praise da Lord" on dis one, stay home from church tomorrow and go rent dis here movie.
OK, I'm gonna give it 3 and 1/2 stars, but I was tempted ta give it 5, but didn't because I is modest cuz he soundz a lot like me. Ya dig?
Originally posted by NyxieI've got a few more ta go befo I close it down. Gonna take off on a new venture of just commentin on what I want to. Might be tha news. Might be religion. Might be politics. Maybe Oprah or Dr, Phil. Anything in life will be fair game fo me.
I was looking everywhere for this thread, thanks for continuing the reviews kirksey.
Nyxie
Many of you have been pm-ing me sayin "Hey, K-Dawg, aint ya eva gonna review "tha Passion of tha Christ"? Well, bein the informed reviewer I is, I have been doing research on dis here movie. I be listenin to interviews wit Mel Gibson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson and all dem otha fundamentalist sellouts that found a way ta suck up to tha Ole demonic Hollywood they be preachin about fo years and years.
First up let me say somethin. When I go to a movie I want to be entertained and have my brain stretched. I go to dis here movie and I find out I gotta work. I gotta read tha damn subtitles all the damn way through this bloodbath. Why didn't I just stay home and read my red letta King Jimmy Bible? Cuz, Mel Gibson needs a few mo dollas to feed that tribe of kids that he has from neva usin no damn birth control cuz he wanta suck up to da Pope. Aint that special.
OK, I done my research and found out mo about this here movie than you eva gonna find from Gene Shalit or Roga Ebert. A lot of dis here movie comes from visions of a celebate nun from tha 19th century. Why do I mention this. Cuz you know this you be undastandin where a lot of the anga be comin from. And while I be at it, am I tha only one that got the imagery of that there snake comin out of Satan's garment. Oh, these here nuns be a frustrated group. And I've always heard from some of ma friends about getting their knuckles beat by rulas that dese here nuns carried around and ya see some of that comin out here with just a bloodbath of a beatin. Let me tell ya tha truth here. It's way ova tha top and no one would survive tha beatin.
OK, movin on. Did anyone here recognize an actor from a long time ago in this here movie? Nope. Nope, wrong again. It was dat crow that be pluckin out the eyeballs of that unrepentent man on tha cross. Clearly dis here crow is very angry about being ova looked by tha academy when I believe it was either Bambi or Ole Yellar got the Oscar fo best animal in a movie. That der crow was in Hitchcock's The Birds. And dis here must be tha year fo pluckin eyeballs out. I think dis here bird got some lessons from Ol Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.
So what do I really think about dis movie? I believe , and I know many of you all religious people will disagree wit me on dis, but I felt dis movie left me mo wit tha impression that humanity is dispicable than Jesus bein our hope. I'm sorry, but that was tha way I saw it. Want a betta Jesus movie? Jesus of Nazareth was beautifully done. Starrin Robert Powell, a fine British actor , as Jesus.
OK, don't like my review. I invite ya ta get in tuoch wit that little Roman soldier inside ya and let me have it. I'm ready ta be crucified fo tha truth.
2 Stars. Would a given it three if Schwarzeneggar had been Jesus. I could see him up there wearin sunglasses and saying in dat terminator voice "I'll be back" which is what tha damn movie is about anyway, right?
Originally posted by kirksey957Right on! Jesus Christ Superstar was a much better film than The Thrashin' of the Christ. Mel Gibson's stillborn brain-child was nothing more than snuff porn for Christians.
Many of you have been pm-ing me sayin "Hey, K-Dawg, aint ya eva gonna review "tha Passion of tha Christ"? Well, bein the informed reviewer I is, I have been doing research on dis here movie. I be listenin to interviews wit Mel Gibson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson and all dem otha fundamentalist sellouts that found a way ta suck up to tha Ole demonic H ...[text shortened]... n dat terminator voice "I'll be back" which is what tha damn movie is about anyway, right?
Wow what a great review. I've seen Jesus of nazereth I liked that one. I also agree with Bbarr, Jessus Christ Superstar is a great movie.The Passion is so bloody that I could'nt watch it. I just don't want to see Jesus get beat up like that, I realize it happened, but I do not want to celebrate such cruelty. I also did'nt like the part where the guards "made" the guy carry the cross for Jesus, I had always thought that a man had jumped out of the crowd himself to help. Maybe I'm naive, but it was a vague hope to me that we're not all animals, and in our darkest hour one would stand up. It's something I'll have to look into now, but I had always been happy thinking the man had done it on his own.
Nyxie
Thank ya both fo ya observations. Many people I talk to feel deeply moved when leaving this movie. On some level I feel violated. The reason I feel violated as that I am a Christian and as well played as Jesus was in this movie, frankly, he wasn't enough for the brokenness and evil in the portrayal of humanity. That's the only way I know to say it.
Kirksie, great reviews, pls don't close it down. i haven't posted in this thread, but i enjoy reading them. I saw The Motorcycle Diaries last night. How about a review? it's about a trip across South America by Che Guevara and a friend. In the movie, Che always tells the truth in any situation, no matter how much it may hurt. It started me thinking again on whether we should hold truth up as such an ideal all the time. As Nietzsche says, it is worth questioning the value of the will to truth.
Originally posted by dfm65I would be very pleased to have you review it in this thread. Sounds like there are some life lessons that you may bring to our attention which is really what this thread has been about.
Kirksie, great reviews, pls don't close it down. i haven't posted in this thread, but i enjoy reading them. I saw The Motorcycle Diaries last night. How about a review? it's about a trip across South America by Che Guevara and a friend. In the movie, Che always tells the truth in any situation, no matter how much it may hurt. It started me thinking again on ...[text shortened]... n ideal all the time. As Nietzsche says, it is worth questioning the value of the will to truth.
Originally posted by royalchickenLet me tell ya somethang, Mark. They sure coulda used a good Jewish dentist in dis here movie. I thought tha English had bad teeth. Oh, ma Lawd, just pull em all out and start ova.
A friend of mine pointed out that half the audience was Jewish, which means a good 40% were doctors, which means that that's the wrong audience to show a movie that stretches medical credibility to that degree.
(My friend is, of course, Jewish.)
US Airways: bankrupt. Delta Airlines: soon ta be bankrupt. United Airlines: bankrupt. The only airlines that I knows of that be makin it, at least in dis country is Southwest and American Airlines. You be saying "Hey, K-Dawg, dis here be a movie review thread."
Well I got a movie dat offers a little advice fo all tha airlines. I'm gonna review what I feel is an excellent movie wit powerful actin. The Soooooooul Plane! That would be Soul Plane fo ya'll dat don't get it. It stars none otha than the Sir Lawrence Olivier of our generation, Snoop Dogg. Anyway it's about an oppressed brotha who buys his own damn airline to compete wit da "man." Let me tell ya somethang. If there was an airline run like this one, you damn well betta baleve I'd run up my frequent flya miles. You look at what tha terrorist have done ta air travel and ya see a movie like dis here and see what it coulda been. This here movie is tha answer ta solvin tha war on terror.
Oh you be saying K-Dawg you done lost it. Naw I haven't. Air travel and its related industries accuont fo 10% of tha economy at least in da US. Fix air travel, you on tha road ta fixin the economy. You fix the economy, we gets da uppa hand on terror. Run an airline like dis one here (NWA) and you tellin people what day be givin up if tha terrorist win. What betta way ta get people flyin again than ta run an airline like dis one. Ya'll go see it and tell me whatcha think and tell me I'm wrong on dis one.
There's also a theme of whites peoples learnin ta trust peoples of color and not livin in to their fears of tha Nubian nation. Naw what I'm sayin. OK, ya still think I'm crazy. OK, well then let me ax ya a question. When ya get on a plane what is da first thang you look at and take an interest in. A little clue. It aint tha pilot that's flyin tha damn thang and got yo damn life in his hands. Hell Naw! It's the pretty flight attendants, ya foolz. I think they be the secret ta world peace and economic security fo the whole world. Ya dig?
Because of the powerful message of dis here movie and becuz of some powerful actin by Snoop Doog and grinding dancin by a bunch of flight attendents, I'm gonna give it 5 stars. Fly them friendly purple skies!
Originally posted by kirksey957Ok, i'll have a go at it - it won't have the panache of a Kirksey review, but i'll do my best. i go into a bit of plot detail, so for those who haven't seen it but might, be warned:
I would be very pleased to have you review it in this thread. Sounds like there are some life lessons that you may bring to our attention which is really what this thread has been about.
The Motorcycle Diaries follows a young Che Guavara - just a semester away from finishing his medical studies and qualifying as a doctor - and his friend Alberto on a journey from their native Argentina through Chile and up into Peru and finally a leper colony in Venezuala. Most people will already know this, but for those who don't: Che later become a revolutionary leader in Cuba, and later still in an attempted revolution in Bolivia. The movie claims he was killed by the CIA but i don't know if this is true or not.
Anyway, they set off across the continent on Alberto's beat up old motorbike, to see the continent, meet chicks, have adventures and get laid. They encounter a variety of situations and characters, and live mainly on their charm and wits, as money is tight.
We can see some of these characters and events having an influence on Che's mind, turning him on to the communist ideal. In particular the pair meet a couple of itinerant mine workers, husband and wife. they are completely at the mercy of the mine bosses, in terms of securing work - hard, dangerous work - and therefore food to live on. We find out later that Che gives them US$15, money that his girlfriend had entrusted him to buy her an American swimsuit with. He had previously resisted every temptation - and there were many - to use the money to make his and Alberto's path easier.
Che always tells the truth throughout the movie, no matter how much it may hurt the hearer. we see this when he gives a frank opinion on the quality of a novel a supportive doctor gives him to read. Alberto tries to flatter the doctor, but Che tells him straight that the novel is no good. This actually helps their cause, as the doctor welcomes the straight talk. On another occasion, a man from whom the pair were begging for accommodation and food asks the pair to examine a lump on his neck. Alberto tries to give a benign but untruthful diagnosis, and suggests that he can treat it, in the hope of getting said food and accommodation. Che, on the other hand, tells him straight up that it is a tumour. On this occasion, telling the truth does the pair no good.
Anyway, i've probably given away too much already. Che's insistance on telling the truth led me to ponder whether telling the truth is always the best policy? Aren't there situations where avoiding hurting someone might be considered a higher priority?
All in all, i enjoyed the movie - it's a bit of an insight into some of the events that made Che into the revolutionary he became - he certainly didn't seem to have revolution on his mind at the beginning.
As portrayed he also had a genuine caring attitude toward the sick, the oppressed, the poor and so on. I found myself thinking: there is a man we could all learn something from.
ok, this is getting a bit long, so i'll leave it there. 4.5 stars out of five, or 5 if you are a communist. 0 if you are a CIA operative or Henry Kissinger.