Limerick Competition

A Musty Young Man

There was a young man who was musty.
He lived in an attic so dusty
It pervaded his clothes
And affected his prose --
Just as well that he never was lusty.

@wolfgang59 said
Remember you posting this years ago!
Do you have an anthology waiting to be published?
😉

@kewpie said
The Poet

A red-headed rhymer from Rome
For bad verses was tossed out of home.
Having no moral fibre,
He jumped in the Tiber,
And floated away on the foam.

Chocolate hobnob

This limerick is going to win,
it's the finest biscuit in the tin,
so get rolling those drums
but be careful of crumbs,
or I'll kick you quite hard in the shin.

Phantom of the Oeuvre

There was in the village of Lute
A ghost of no little repute.
He set out to write
But it gave him a fright,
And all his ambitions were moot.

Carelessness.

There was a young fellow from Fife
Who discovered the meaning of life
He wrote it down plain
Then he lost it again
Now he wished he'd at least told his wife.

There once from a girl from Nantucket
who wore quite an unusual locket
nice was her hair, and breasts quite pair
I just wish I had her in my pocket

Wedding Day

There was a young vicar from Poole
Who fell madly in love with the groom
"You're so dashing" he said,
"Marry me instead."
"Well I might if you had your own womb."

@neilarini
Ships first mate named of Carter
was a really bad farter
when the wind didn't blow
and the ship didn't go,
it took carter the farter to start her.

The Ballard of Unanticipated Lockdown Goat Uprisings Ending in Tragedy as a Result of Poor Strategy and Dubious Route Choice.

There once was a militant goat
Called to arms by the things that Neil wrote
In a bid to break free
He crossed over the Dee
But sadly he just couldn't float.

@petewxyz

Catchy title.

@sonhouse

Don't take this the wrong way, but that stinks!

'Fill in the Missing Word.'

Here's a competition within a competition. I can't think of a word or words to finish this limerick. Using your skill and judgement, place your word or words within the brackets provided. For example, if you think 'Cup of Tea' would be a good ending, write 'Cup of Tea' within the brackets.

Frank.

There was a young fellow called Frank
Whose love life was totally blank
His lack of success
Put him under duress
And he ended up having a ( x )

First prize: A set of brightly coloured plastic measuring spoons.

Second prize: A night out in Cleethorpes with my cousin Ann.

Third prize: Two nights out in Cleethorpes with my cousin Ann.

Good luck everyone!

@Indonesia-Phil

As host of this competition I fear I must interject with immediate effect.

PLEASE keep it clean!!!!!