I think the reason so many people divorce is the unrealistic view they have of marriage. Too many people approach it with the attitude that "well, if it doesn't work out, we can get a divorce". So, after a few arguments, they do just that. Unfortunately they already have 2-3 kids by the time they divorce.
Marriage, or any kind of relationship is hard work. There will be a lot of fights, and it is nothing like the movies.You have to approach it as "This is the choice we have made, and we will do everything in our power to make it work."
Originally posted by elvendreamgirl
I think the reason so many people divorce is the unrealistic view they have of marriage. Too many people approach it with the attitude that "well, if it doesn't work out, we can get a divorce". So, after a few arguments, they do just that. Unfortunately they already have 2-3 kids by the time they divorce.
Marriage, or any kind of relationship is ...[text shortened]... "This is the choice we have made, and we will do everything in our power to make it work."
...and an even bigger part of that is that TWO people have to make the decision to stick it out and work on it. Too often, one of them just looks for the easy way out.
-f
Naturally I am not saying that I am looking to meet someone and get married to them after one week of dating. What I am saying is I am tired of being in strictly sexual relationships, where the whole relationship is based on sex. I am very confident in my ability in this manner but it is not what I am looking for. I am looking for a serious relationship that will eventually lead to marriage and kids. I am looking to fall in love with a girl that will potentially be my best friend. I believe that I understand the whole concept of sexuality after all i do have a child already but sex is not the main ingredient in a successful relationship. At least not one that I am seeking. Now this isn't to say that i do not enjoy engaging in such activities, all it is saying is i dont want the relationship to be about this thats all. believe me I am quite happy with myself, although lately as expressed before I have been quite busy with work school and my child, essentially I am just looking for someone to share myself with.
Originally posted by deathbypawnAs one who has often had to go through the pain of being used by women for sex in the past, I can safely say that the best way to go about this is to hold off on the intimacy part for a while. Get to know them, make sure they're your best friend (but whatever you do, don't turn into their wussy girlfriend if you know what I mean!!), have fun together! It's a good idea to maintain excitement and sexual tension during this period, as it will pay off in the end, but the main goal will have been met in the process -- to get to know her and find out if it's going anywhere (you can't make that happen with an ad or any amount of whining by the way). In other words, if you don't want a sexual relationship then *keep it in yer pants*!
Naturally I am not saying that I am looking to meet someone and get married to them after one week of dating. What I am saying is I am tired of being in strictly sexual relationships, where the whole relationship is based on sex. I am ...[text shortened]... , essentially I am just looking for someone to share myself with.
-f
Originally posted by fierceI understand exactly what you are saying...the real question is out of the many times you have been approached by a drop dead gorgeous girl who just wanted to get you in the sack how many times have you said no how many times have you willingly declined and "kept it in your pants" I know for me not very many. It is important to me that the girl I fall in love with understands that I do have a permiscuous past...it is part of who I am and I cant change that, It is hardly ever my intentions to pursue any kind of sexual relationship out of marriage but things come up if that is they way you want to think about it. That being said I understand that I must try harder in the future to resist such temptations. Although recently for about 6 months or so I have been selabut (not sure of spelling) by choice. So perhaps this is a step in the right direction.
As one who has often had to go through the pain of being used by women for sex in the past, I can safely say that the best way to go about this is to hold off on the intimacy part for a while. Get to know them, make sure they're your best friend (but whatever you do, don't turn into their wussy girlfriend if you know what I mean!!), have fun together! It ...[text shortened]... . In other words, if you don't want a sexual relationship then *keep it in yer pants*!
-f
Originally posted by deathbypawnYou've been "selabut"? Sellin' butt??? <gasp>
I understand exactly what you are saying...the real question is out of the many times you have been approached by a drop dead gorgeous girl who just wanted to get you in the sack how many times have you said no how many times have you w ...[text shortened]... ling) by choice. So perhaps this is a step in the right direction.
Anywho...
Dude, I saw your perfect date post -- are you off your frickin' rocker?? New piece of advice: You seriously need to throw away every single copy of "Snow White", "Cinderella", and "Beauty & The Beast" that you own. There may be withdrawal symptoms, but in the end it will be worth it.
As far as your question to me, what can I say I like a good wine with my dinner. It starts out with one glass over dinner, but then she buys me another and another. Before I know it, I'm waking up at home passed out naked on the bed and she is already in the midst of getting down to business. I try to say no, but it's like the words can't leave my lips. Thirty minutes later, I wake up again to the smell of cigarette smoke as she's lying next to me smiling in post-coital bliss. Sigh...the agony!
-f
Originally posted by deathbypawnI dont think its any good looking for love, you just have to live life and let it happen. Before I met Elvendreamgirl, everyone I knew who was in love said it just came out of nowhere, I was always like "sure sure, yep thats cute, now how about we talk about something else". Then the same happened with me and Elvendreamgirl, neither of us were looking for love, it just happened. I still cant believe it did happen, the chances of us meeting were so small and yet somehow we did. Living without love must be awful if you know what you are missing, before I loved life was always ok, moving from one day to the next, it was easy. I just didnt know what I was missing, I cant imagine my life without Elvendreamgirl now, she fills my every moment with joy and happiness.
Is it asking too much to fall helplessly hopelessly completely totaly 100% head over heals in love with someone. This is what I want. This is what my desire is. The point could be made you are to busy with graduate work or to busy with ...[text shortened]... can live for...thats all and I dont think that is asking too much.
The only advice I can offer is just live life and be open to people thats all anyone can do. (or write your phone number in in telephone boxes 😀)
