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My life sucks the varnish of skanky toes

My life sucks the varnish of skanky toes

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shavixmir
Lord

Sewers of Holland

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This is excruciatingly terrible:

I was at a party yesterday.
Well, it wasn’t really a party, just a meal and a laugh. But I got drunk enough anyways.

So today, I went sporting to lose some of the calories I obviously gained by eating too much meat and fish and drinking too much rose and whatever the foul tasting liqueur was afterwards.
Everything was going so well. I was happy, I wasn’t hung over. I was sweating like Casanova after a 3 hour love session and then I went to shower.

I’m stood in the shower with this other man and he says: “You really have balls.”
Seriously.
I gave him one of my: “Stop looking at my nuts” looks and he shrugged, stepped out of the shower and said to the other men in the changing room: “Check out that freak.”

I’m like: “What?” What the hell is going on…and then I looked down…
Yes. At the party the previous evening, the women wanted to paint my toe nails with bright red varnish (God only knows why females have such horrible desires)… and I’d forgotten.

This is just so wrong on so many different levels that I don’t know where my embarrassment is supposed to start or where and when it’s gonna finish.
Why do people want to paint my toes?
Why do I let them?
Why didn’t I look down before getting into that bloody shower?
I look like a fcuking freak!

That sport school has obviously become yet another no-go zone for me. At this rate I’m going to have to immigrate.

EDIT: and now I'm into misspelling in the title too. AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH I can take no more!

a

omnipresent

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Originally posted by shavixmir
This is excruciatingly terrible:

I was at a party yesterday.
Well, it wasn’t really a party, just a meal and a laugh. But I got drunk enough anyways.

So today, I went sporting to lose some of the calories I obviously gained by eating too much meat and fish and drinking too much rose and whatever the foul tasting liqueur was afterwards.
Everythi ...[text shortened]...

EDIT: and now I'm into misspelling in the title too. AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH I can take no more!
fwahahahaha!
for a minute, I thought they'd maybe painted your balls red.... 😉

J

back in business

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odds:

shavixmir gets 0-1 recs : 2,60
shavixmir gets 2-5 recs: 1,80
shavixmir gets >6 recs: 3,25

btw nice story 😛

shavixmir
Lord

Sewers of Holland

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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/shavixmir/Hpim1589.jpg

🙁

Aiko

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Originally posted by shavixmir
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/shavixmir/Hpim1589.jpg

🙁
Very pretty...!

TSP
HIT THE LIGHTS

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Originally posted by shavixmir
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/shavixmir/Hpim1589.jpg

🙁
Really cute (LOL)


thanks Shav for yet another good story !!

FB
Great Big Stees

In Check

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The photo gets a rec.

All you really need is the fcuk me pumps.

F
9 Edits

London

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Originally posted by shavixmir
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/shavixmir/Hpim1589.jpg

🙁
Recced. Nice going Shav. Maybe in London we could do your fingers as well 😀

buffalobill
Major Bone

On yer tail ...

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Originally posted by Frank Burns
The photo gets a rec.

All you really need is the fcuk me pumps.
Must have been a good party but you really need to shave your legs otherwise you won't get any.
On a true note, I was once in the squash court change rooms after having a shower, and this skinny, small guy (about 5' 7"😉 who was also changing had this appendage that hung down virtually to his knees. Till then I never believed it was true. So, how do you measure up?

Marinkatomb
wotagr8game

tbc

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Originally posted by angie88
fwahahahaha!
for a minute, I thought they'd maybe painted your balls red.... 😉
LOL! So did it!! 😵😲

Marinkatomb
wotagr8game

tbc

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Originally posted by Freddie2004
Recced. Nice going Shav. Maybe in London we could do your fingers as well 😀
Hahaha, how about we all chip in for a full wax and strip while we're at it, LMAO!! 😛

F
9 Edits

London

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Originally posted by marinakatomb
Hahaha, how about we all chip in for a full wax and strip while we're at it, LMAO!! 😛
I once saw a beauticians advertising a "butt crack and sack wax"!!! Made me laugh; maybe it would be better than shaving your balls Shav 😛

A
D_U_N_E

Arrakis

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Originally posted by shavixmir
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/shavixmir/Hpim1589.jpg

🙁
Ohhh... I feel queasy after looking at that. (Trying not to throw up).
😕

knightwest
General of GROSS

Calvin's Treehouse

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Originally posted by Freddie2004
I once saw a beauticians advertising a "butt crack and sack wax"!!! Made me laugh; maybe it would be better than shaving your balls Shav 😛
Shouldn't that be "sack, back and crack"?

F
9 Edits

London

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Originally posted by knightwest
Shouldn't that be "sack, back and crack"?
I don't think so .

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