Puns and One-liners

when cows go to sleep it's pasture bedtime

Car battery walked into a bar.
Bartender said don't start anything.

Ending a sentence with a rhetorical question; how annoying is that?

a broken vending machine is indispensable

Q. How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Do your own research.

catwoman went to nepal
what did catman do?

thermometers are speedometers for atoms

gonna open a new shoppe
gonna sell marijuana and doughnuts
gonna call it "Glazed and Confused"

hey you!
out there on yer own
sitting naked by the phone
would you touch me?

when pink floyd invented sexting

Here's one old-school computer-heads should recognise:

"You can tune a file system, but you cannot tune a fish."

People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow!

I’m pining for a good tree pun, I wish they were more poplar!

Well, to be frank, I’d have to change my name!

I have a chicken-proof lawn - it’s impeccable !

@Shallow-Blue
No, you CAN tuna fish.