Quick!

@caesar-salad said
I agree. Maybe some people have special beer cellars?

@ghost-of-a-duke said
You don't?!

(Next you'll be saying you don't have a banqueting hall).

I was in a house fire once.
Almost 20 years ago I had a craving for fries/chips so I put some oil in a pot and put it on the stove.
My girl needed me in the bedroom and when I was done helping her 😉 I opened the bedroom door and a huge wave of black smoke comes into our upstairs bedroom.
She starts making whimpering sounds so I run down the stairs butt naked and grab the fire extinguisher. I couldn't see anything but I could see the flames.
So like a hero I put out the fire and go back to find her and she is still upstairs frozen in fear.
I wrap a towel around me and carry her outside to a group of people watching and two firetrucks coming down the street.

The smoke inhalation affected me so I sat down to rest and when I look up I see three girls pointing at me.
That's when I noticed they had a direct view of my manhood. Embarrassing. 😟
The firemen come out and were amazed I put out the fire.
The next day the fire inspector is talking to us and the landlord shows up screaming as he comes in demanding we pay for the damages.
The inspector says they aren't paying for anything and he pointed to the ceiling.
We all look up and he says their was no fire alarm replaced when the old one was removed so it's the landlords fault.
The landlord didn't say a word. He just left and I shook the inspectors hand.
True story.

@patzering said
I was in a house fire once.
Almost 20 years ago I had a craving for fries/chips so I put some oil in a pot and put it on the stove.
My girl needed me in the bedroom and when I was done helping her 😉 I opened the bedroom door and a huge wave of black smoke comes into our upstairs bedroom.
She starts making whimpering sounds so I run down the stairs butt naked and grab the ...[text shortened]... s fault.
The landlord didn't say a word. He just left and I shook the inspectors hand.
True story.

@torunn said
Everything can be replaced, if not right away so at least gradually.
In my handbag I have what makes my life continue at once: wallet and bank/credit cards, id, drivers licence, address-book, keys etc. That plus meds and phone should be sufficient for a while.

@suzianne said
Yes, the handbag is a must. My life is in there.

1. My Grateful Dead soundboards collection 1971-1977
2. Ditto 1980-1981
3. Ditto Summer 1989 - Spring 1990

4. I'd ask my wife to make my Zappa collection one of her 3 things.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Important thread observation:

So far nobody has rescued anything from the kitchen or banqueting hall. (Although the whereabouts of Dive's non-human wife is uncertain).

wife
guitar
car keys

@badradger said
wife
guitar
car keys

@moonbus said
Beer doesn’t last long enough in my place to need a storage cellar. I like to keep it within reach at all times.

@caesar-salad said
Now I'm thinking of storing my beer in chilled tanks on the roof, so it can be released to put out a house fire if needed.

@caesar-salad said
Now I'm thinking of storing my beer in chilled tanks on the roof, so it can be released to put out a house fire if needed.

@whodey said
1. Matches.

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Your hypothetical house is on fire and you (the only human at home) have time to grab just 3 things before fleeing the building:

1. The cat.
2. Laptop.
3. Wallet.