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RHP Advice Column

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KZ

Joined
22 Nov 07
Moves
17470
Clock
24 Jun 09

Originally posted by Very Rusty
Hopefully you got the message! Words can hurt both ways Raven!

Keep in mind you have done the same to me many times.

Now I will not comment anymore on your advice column.

I probably will not be saying much more at all!
Is that a promise? You are by far the most annoying poster on this site. A rare intresting thread in the general forum, until you get involved.

R
Different

42

Joined
16 Mar 07
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7738
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by jb70
Dear Raven
I have a friend who needs to drop a dress size because I'm going on holiday in a couple of weeks.What's the latest on the street?
Best wishes jb.
Dear Fatty,

I suppose you are looking for something other than good food and exercise - because that of course would make too much sense. Tell your plus-size friend I heard that liposuction works wonders.

Much love,
Raven

a

THORNINYOURSIDE

Joined
04 Sep 04
Moves
245624
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by King Zeke
Is that a promise? You are by far the most annoying poster on this site. A rare intresting thread in the general forum, until you get involved.
🙂 A rare post from a forum lurker, which says it all.

a

THORNINYOURSIDE

Joined
04 Sep 04
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245624
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24 Jun 09
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Dear Raven,

Would it be a good idea, for several posters to respond to all posts made by VR, and just put silly replies, such as Canadian bacon is not as good as seal, the grass is always bluer after dark , why does it never rain elephants and midges ?

As an aside, I have a poster who thinks I am sexy, are they telling the truth?

Yours
Seeker of enlightenment

R
Different

42

Joined
16 Mar 07
Moves
7738
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by PBE6
Dear Raven,

I have a friend who made out with a future version of themselves. My question is, is that gay or is that masturbation?

Thanks in advance,
Nervous.
Dear Futuristic Weirdo,

Since your friend made out with a child of his parents it is actually incest. Eww!

Much love,
Raven

P
Bananarama

False berry

Joined
14 Feb 04
Moves
28719
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by adramforall
Dear Raven,

Would it be a good idea, for several posters to respond to all posts made by VR, and just put silly replies, such as Canadian bacon is not as good as seal, the grass is always bluer after dark , why does it never rain elephants and midges ?

As an aside, I have a poster who thinks I am sexy, are they telling the truth?

Yours
Seeker of enlightenment
Dear adamforall,

If you don't stop being so damn handsome I swear I'll have to come over there and give you a SPANKING!! HeheheheherrrRRRROWWWRRRR!!!heheheheh...(scratches air with cat-fingers)...mmmmMMMmm!!! Ahehe... 🙂

What was the question again?

Always,
PBE6(ti9)

P
Bananarama

False berry

Joined
14 Feb 04
Moves
28719
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by Raven69
Dear Futuristic Weirdo,

Since your friend made out with a child of his parents it is actually incest. Eww!

Much love,
Raven
Thanks!

(Sorry Ricky, we tried... :'()

R
Different

42

Joined
16 Mar 07
Moves
7738
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by rookie54
dear ms raven,

tain't no confusion,
at least not for me...
tha second post wuz created,
cuz tha first wuz conceived...

i asked fer advice,
an thunked my head az wuz told...
then came hallucinations,
and now i'm a troll...

so what shall i do???
to git rid of this curse...
i've got a feverish brow,
will you be my nurse???



rookie
Dear Troll,

Try hitting your head again. If it didn't work the first time, it should certainly work the second time. Get back to me after you do, preferably with correct capitalization. Thanks.

A respectable amount of love,
Raven

u
The So Fist

Voice of Reason

Joined
28 Mar 06
Moves
9908
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Dear Raven,

I made a life size cardboard cut-out of you. My girlfriend saw the cardboard cut out and asked why there are 2 inch round holes strategically cut out in the bad places.

What should I tell her?

Thanks,
-Slightly Chaffed

R
Different

42

Joined
16 Mar 07
Moves
7738
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by adramforall
Dear Raven,

Would it be a good idea, for several posters to respond to all posts made by VR, and just put silly replies, such as Canadian bacon is not as good as seal, the grass is always bluer after dark , why does it never rain elephants and midges ?

As an aside, I have a poster who thinks I am sexy, are they telling the truth?

Yours
Seeker of enlightenment
Dear Sexy Beast,

No and no. Hope that helped. 🙂

Much sexy love,
Raven

P.S. There is absolutely no way seal is better than Canadian bacon.

a

THORNINYOURSIDE

Joined
04 Sep 04
Moves
245624
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by uzless
Dear Raven,

I made a life size cardboard cut-out of you. My girlfriend saw the cardboard cut out and asked why there are 2 inch round holes strategically cut out in the bad places.

What should I tell her?

Thanks,
-Slightly Chaffed
Dear slightly chaffed,

I suggest the next time you get an email about penile enlargement you follow through.

😛

divegeester
watching in dismay

STARMERGEDDON

Joined
16 Feb 08
Moves
120562
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Dear Crow,

You run around town like a fool and you think that it's groovy
You're givin' it to some other guy who gives you the eye
You don't give nothin' to me
you painted a smile
And you dress all the while to excite me.
But don't you know you're turning me on
I know that it's wrong
but I can't stop this pain inside me.

Baby
love really hurts without you

Love really hurts without you

And it's breaking my heart

But what can I do
baby

Love really hurts without you

Love really hurts through and through
And it's breaking my heart
But what can I do without you
baby?

You walk like a dream and you make like you're Queen of the action
You're using ev'ry trick in the book the way that you look
You're really something to see
you cheat and you lie
To impress any guy that you fancy
but don't you know
I'm out of my mind
so give me a sigh
And help to ease the pain inside me.

Baby
love really hurts without you


Please help...

R
Different

42

Joined
16 Mar 07
Moves
7738
Clock
24 Jun 09
1 edit
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Originally posted by uzless
Dear Raven,

I made a life size cardboard cut-out of you. My girlfriend saw the cardboard cut out and asked why there are 2 inch round holes strategically cut out in the bad places.

What should I tell her?

Thanks,
-Slightly Chaffed
Dear Arts and Crafts,

Tell her the holes are for putting ropes through it so you can hang it. What good is a cut-out if you can't hang it from your ceiling?

Very flattered,
Raven

P.S. I say this in the best way possible, but I'd take adramforall's advice as well.

R
Different

42

Joined
16 Mar 07
Moves
7738
Clock
24 Jun 09
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Originally posted by divegeester
so give me a sigh
And help to ease the pain inside me.

Baby
love really hurts without you


Please help...
Dear Love Struck,

*sighs*

...better?

A lot of warm sighs,
Raven

u
The So Fist

Voice of Reason

Joined
28 Mar 06
Moves
9908
Clock
24 Jun 09
1 edit
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Originally posted by Raven69

P.S. I say this in the best way possible, but I'd take adramforall's advice as well.
So it worked for adramforall?

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