storyville

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
I'll have a chat with Conrad Black and get some ideas from him and get "back at ya".

AS GBS turned to leave the Gay Dad Bar he had forgotten that the sawn offs safety was off alas both barrels exploded and contrary to the earlier statement that Stees only fired blanks proved to be false, an ambulance arrived within hours due to Londons congestion charge and a legless Stees was stretchered out....

Originally posted by redbarons
AS GBS turned to leave the Gay Dad Bar he had forgotten that the sawn offs safety was off alas both barrels exploded and contrary to the earlier statement that Stees only fired blanks proved to be false, an ambulance arrived within hours due to Londons congestion charge and a legless Stees was stretchered out....

As was was wheeled into the ambulance he said to one of the EMS personal, "I tripped on a piece of loose carpet. Do you have a phone so I can call my lawyer?" The attendant said, "Well I'm no lawyer but I'd say you don't have a leg to stand on." , then snickered as his partner broke out in laughter, much to GBS's chagrin.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
As was was wheeled into the ambulance he said to one of the EMS personal, "I tripped on a piece of loose carpet. Do you have a phone so I can call my lawyer?" The attendant said, "Well I'm no lawyer but I'd say you don't have a leg to stand on." , then snickered as his partner broke out in laughter, much to GBS's chagrin.

So is this the end for GBS the 007 of RHP? or will he be resurrected as Blade Runner?

Originally posted by redbarons
So is this the end for GBS the 007 of RHP? or will he be resurrected as Blade Runner?

After more than a year (22 months actually) GBS was released from hospital but was unrecognizable by any who knew him before the "accident". He looked more like The Six Million Dollar Man than GBS. In truth he was the Five Hundred Million Dollar Man (what with inflation). As he exited the hospital a very attractive young woman passed by him as he walked down the walkway to the parking garage. He turned to have a look at her from behind and accidently bumped into a rather large Red Oak tree on the side of the walkway. People looked in disbelief when he knocked it over like it was a matchstick sustaining no injuries whatsoever. He laughed and walked on.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
After more than a year (22 months actually) GBS was released from hospital but was unrecognizable by any who knew him before the "accident". He looked more like The Six Million Dollar Man than GBS. In truth he was the Five Hundred Million Dollar Man (what with inflation). As he exited the hospital a very attractive young woman passed by him as he wal ...[text shortened]... ed it over like it was a matchstick sustaining no injuries whatsoever. He laughed and walked on.

and as GBS walked he thought to himself...hey Stees with this super strength an all I could do a lot of good for mankind and then he thought nah feck it.

Originally posted by redbarons
and as GBS walked he thought to himself...hey Stees with this super strength an all I could do a lot of good for mankind and then he thought nah feck it.

He headed for the bank to make an unauthorized withdrawal, smiling as he went, practicing his response to the police, "Oh ya, and what ya gunna do about it eh?"

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
He headed for the bank to make an unauthorized withdrawal, smiling as he went, practicing his response to the police, "Oh ya, and what ya gunna do about it eh?"

Alas GBS has one major problem his bionic legs (they cant walk past pubs) so Stees finds himself at the bar of the Fettlers Arms staring into a glass of Stees own type of Kriptonite yes you have guessed a half of shandy.....

Originally posted by redbarons
Alas GBS has one major problem his bionic legs (they cant walk past pubs) so Stees finds himself at the bar of the Fettlers Arms staring into a glass of Stees own type of Kriptonite yes you have guessed a half of shandy.....

With a Lager & Lime chaser. He asks the barmaid what time the bank nextdoor closes to which she says, "I don't know love but I'm off at midnight" and winks.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
With a Lager & Lime chaser. He asks the barmaid what time the bank nextdoor closes to which she says, "I don't know love but I'm off at midnight" and winks.

so GBS knows he is in on both counts its make your mind up stees thought mmmm do the bank first or the barmaid so he waits for her to leave the bar at midnight escorts her to the bank doorway and 30 seconds later job done he hails her a cab,as soon as she leaves he kicks the banks door clean off.....

Originally posted by redbarons
so GBS knows he is in on both counts its make your mind up stees thought mmmm do the bank first or the barmaid so he waits for her to leave the bar at midnight escorts her to the bank doorway and 30 seconds later job done he hails her a cab,as soon as she leaves he kicks the banks door clean off.....

enters smiling, makes his other withdrawal and exits only to find a bevy of policemen...not quail...waiting for him. He surmizes that since, like before, he was quick to grab the money that the barmaid must have tipped them off.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
enters smiling, makes his other withdrawal and exits only to find a bevy of policemen...not quail...waiting for him. He surmizes that since, like before, he was quick to grab the money that the barmaid must have tipped them off.

GBS realises he has a problem But he is a Canadian and back in the day when he was a lumberjack he had a way with logs and as always he stores a nine foot retractable pole in his pocket the police are stunned as he whips out his huge pole now fully erect Stees pole vaults himself onto the largest building in the area vaulting from rooftop to rooftop he easily outwits the obviously stupid british bobbys...

Originally posted by redbarons
GBS realises he has a problem But he is a Canadian and back in the day when he was a lumberjack he had a way with logs and as always he stores a nine foot retractable pole in his pocket the police are stunned as he whips out his huge pole now fully erect Stees pole vaults himself onto the largest building in the area vaulting from rooftop to rooftop he easily outwits the obviously stupid british bobbys...

Stopping momentarily to try to figure out why he did that since nothing the "coppers" could have done would have had any effect on him he decided that he'd done it just because he could. Laughing he headed to the barmaid's place (he has x-ray vision remember and was able to see her address on her chequebook in her purse) to do her...in.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
Stopping momentarily to try to figure out why he did that since nothing the "coppers" could have done would have had any effect on him he decided that he'd done it just because he could. Laughing he headed to the barmaid's place (he has x-ray vision remember and was able to see her address on her chequebook in her purse) to do her...in.

GBS arrives at the barmaids house it looks a bit run down but then there are a lot of slums in London.Stees notices the door is ajar shoving his pole back in his pants he enters the house then as he enters the lounge he notices the blood seeping under the door to the kitchen he tears the kitchen door from its hinges then he sees the carnage,three bodies all women all naked and all slashed to ribbons he could not be sure any of them was the barmaid he decided that he had better check out the rest of the house..

Originally posted by redbarons
GBS arrives at the barmaids house it looks a bit run down but then there are a lot of slums in London.Stees notices the door is ajar shoving his pole back in his pants he enters the house then as he enters the lounge he notices the blood seeping under the door to the kitchen he tears the kitchen door from its hinges then he sees the carnage,three bodies al ...[text shortened]... sure any of them was the barmaid he decided that he had better check out the rest of the house..

In a flash he accomplished his mission, noting that there was a note attached to the pillow in one of the upper bedrooms he read it. It said. I came home to find what you've found in the kitchen and it wasn't me who 'done' it, it was GBS, really it was.

Originally posted by Great Big Stees
In a flash he accomplished his mission, noting that there was a note attached to the pillow in one of the upper bedrooms he read it. It said. I came home to find what you've found in the kitchen and it wasn't me who 'done' it, it was GBS, really it was.

Now obviously Stees Knew that this was a paradox he new that he did not butcher the three women and reckoned the barmad was trying to frame him(do im up like a kipper) so Stees shoved the note in his pocket and set out to find the barmaid and get to the truth.