The RHP Verse-off

I once said:
We could do worse,
than to have a thread,
all in verse.
Master chewie then concurred:
You start us out,
I'll spread the word.

Maybe if he is invited,
Rhymesta himself would be delighted,
and not in the least bit slighted,
to lambast in verse those MAP knighted.

But I have one caveat,
For any prose-composing prat,
Who initiates some foolish spat,
And writes until his prose goes flat:
Here me, you would be thread debater!
Watch out, near lurks a moderator,
if you're a vile post-count inflator,
your words will be gone 'til much later!

So here we only post in rhyme,
with heed to meter
and to time.
Composing our small flighty verse,
for as I said, we could do worse.

I come across this thread too late
For me, my wife and bed do wait
I have to tuck in Red Hot Ted
Now that his supper he's been fed
But on the morrow I'll be back
And give this 'thread in verse' a crack
For now I bid you all goodnight
Oh! Ted in pajamas - what a sight!

Rhymester

One Rhymester,
far across the ocean,
posts to put the thread in motion.
When at his brilliant verse we weep,
Mister Rhymester falls asleep.

To Russ and Chris:

'Twas back in the March of two thousand and three,
That I sat in my office not quite patiently.
I was casting about for a way to play chess,
On a website that wasn't a horrible mess.
And what do you think I could only discover?
Nothing but mess, one after another.

So I gave up at last and home I did go,
With my passion deflated and heart full of woe.
It wasn't till later that very same night,
That I happened to chance on a fine looking site.
It had good looking graphics and I quickly could see,
That Red Hot Pawn surely was perfect for me.

I started some games and had a good look around,
With spirits so high my feet left the ground.
This was certainly the very best place, yes, by far,
So within not many minutes I'd bought my Pawn Star.
Now I find it compulsive to be here each day,
There really is nowhere better to play!

Mid evening, on the east coast of the grand USA.
I've got about 8 games, waiting for play.
This is when RHP starts to slow down.
The people in Europe lay their heads down.

But some of those people there are very like me.
Up past their bed time, the hour is wee.
Perhaps it is AM there; one, two, or three.
But they just might post another poem for me.

Others I find to the North or the West,
posting there messages, playing there chess.
Typing, and talking, joking with friends.
Making their chess moves, til their evening ends.

So I finish my verse, with a final nice touch...
Thanking royalchicken, Rhymester, and chewie so much.
You guys are all right, and there are so many more....
That make this fine chess site far less than a bore.

And if your in England, Snohomish, or Maine...
Send me one, if were not already playing a game.

Phla-

Phlabby's a nice and charitable dude,
Inviting me to play chess.
Given that my verse is so crude,
I'll come right out and say "Yes".
I would be honored to play you a game,
To engage in the great game of kings.
Indeed this noble pursuit is the same,
as that of which one Rhymester sings.
So bring it on Phla, I'm starting a match,
A fight for the bards of the board.
I'll try my best the glory to snatch,
and the rating points for me to hoard.

You stole my move! You use English opening!
It's my game as white, but now I am hopening...
That I can play this game from black's point of view,
And get a few extra rating points off of you.

You're the first person here at R.H.P.
To use that opening as White against me.
And with any luck, I can use the tricks that I learned,
from all the black players, who on the chess board I've burned.

I know for a fact, this game will be fun.
We still won't know who's better, when it is all done.
I'm sure we'll player others to settle the score.
Tie the match up... and say, "Lets play one more."

😉

Final Edit Keep in mind the Chess Lords! was once going to be called the "Prose of Poetry"... The name never attracted any players.... 🙁

Phlabby, I say, you really don't need,
To worry or fret about my move,
Never did I the chess theory heed,
For o'er the board I have naught to prove.

I may have started with the first motion,
Commonly made by those sleeping Brits,
But betwixt me and them is the number 2 ocean,
And yet on c5 my wee pawn sits.

Enjoy 😛😉😲

I know several openings, about 2 moves deep.
After that I reverse them, out of order and weep.
Sometimes I get lucky, the Ruy Lopez we play.
I can go 5 moves deep, before I start to say.

I better watch out for discovered attacks.
Rooks bearing down on my pawns in the back.
Knights come and pin me, problem bishops unguarded,
I lost 2 pawns and the game has not started.

Don't let me get just one pawn ahead...
I'll march that down, you'll go out of your head.
Just my king and a Queen, or a Rook if I'm cocky
Will pin your king in, and bunch up your jockies.

What's going on here!
A thread out of nowhere
I'm just off to bed
A place that I go where
I needn't keep thinking
About things on this site
Like the things I've been fixing
'till deep in this night!

I'll wake up tommorow,
No doubt gone past twelve
And think of the things
That I've had to shelve
For the sake of some shut-eye
Forty more winks
I'd do some more but I
Need rest now methinks

Originally posted by Chrismo
I write code!

Oh dear I'll have to beg your pardon
The wife - she wants me in the garden
Tomato plants to tie up straight
Burdoned by their fruity weight
Beans to pick and beetroot thinning
Against the bugs I'm almost winning
But squirrel, pigeon - could be mouse
Is creeping up beside the house
And eating all our lettuce crop
This is no good it's got to stop!
I've done all sorts I've tried real hard
I'm putting Red Hot Ted on guard :-)

Here I sit, all alone,
Thirty miles from my sweet home.
At 7am on a fine, crisp morning,
Sipping coffee to stop me yawning.

I came in early this fine day,
To see what games I had to play,
I need to finish more than several,
As my presence soon will be ephemeral.

We're off to sunny, pretty Banff,
Where Dr Suess would find a Scranff,
A mythic beast of great proportions,
Famed for all its weird contortions.

A bloke outside is mowing the grass,
He makes another regimented pass,
Which reminds me suddenly of what I must do,
Weed our veggies and mow our lawns too.

For surely if I leave them a week,
The noxious weeds will reach a peak,
Of such immense and lifty height,
That my back will break to relieve the plight.

Now its time to read my mail,
So my random verse I will curtail.
I'd better try to make a move,
And get into my daily groove.

I wish I could rhyme
Away all my time
Like the people right above me

But I get over that
When I dwell on the fact
That they've all bloody done it for free!

What constitutes verse?
Some poems don't rhyme at all,
Haikus for instance.