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Three hoboes were walking down the railroad tracks, when the first one spoke up. “See that spot over there?” said the first. “That’s my lucky spot. I found ten dollars over there, and used the money to buy some food.”
“That’s nothing!” said the second hobo. “I found twenty dollars right over there”, he said, pointing to another spot near the tracks. “And I bought myself a case of beer and got drunker than hell!”
After a few minutes of walking, the third hobo spoke up. “I got you both beat. Right here, I found a woman tied up on the tracks, so I untied her and we had sex all day long!”
“Wow, that’s incredible said the other two hobo’s. did she errrm....did she...blow you”
“sadly not”, said the third hobo. “I never did find her head!”
Originally posted by stellspalfieChubby lives! 🙂
Three hoboes were walking down the railroad tracks, when the first one spoke up. “See that spot over there?” said the first. “That’s my lucky spot. I found ten dollars over there, and used the money to buy some food.”
“That’s nothing!” said the second hobo. “I found twenty dollars right over there”, he said, pointing to another spot near the tracks. ...[text shortened]... e errrm....did she...blow you”
“sadly not”, said the third hobo. “I never did find her head!”
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
...... a stick! 😛
......
Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?
He sold his soul to Santa
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam".
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What do the letters D.N.A. stand for?
National Dyslexics Association.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
and what kind of lettuce? Iceberg.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.
Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
Dyslexic druggie? Took an 'F' 😀