26 Jun 08
Originally posted by ScriabinI don't get it.
I got a few:
First:
A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Mor ...[text shortened]... , "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."
29 Jul 08
Originally posted by BadwaterActually, there's a story of a fan challenging Alekhine to a game of chess, and Alekhine agreed and gave the fan rook odds...the fan asked why he would give him rook odds, he doesnt even know him, to which Alkhine replies, "It's because I don't know you that I'm giving you rook odds."
Capablanca was waiting in a train station in New York one day, with his coffee, danish, newspaper and chess set, when a man approached him. Gesturing at the chess set, he asked if Capablanca cared for a game. Always delighted to play, Capablanca immediately set up the board, then removed his queen from the board, to even up the game. Annoyed, the man blurte ...[text shortened]... ht beat you!" Unruffled, Capablanca replied, "Sir, if you could beat me, I would know you."
30 Jul 08
Originally posted by SwissGambitThis is my favorite joke too. WC matches should be decided in match play at long time controls. This is a much better joke than the one about the dog who could play chess so I'll skip that one. 😀
Favorite chess joke? The new, fast-paced FIDE knockout "world championships". Or maybe the Orangutan opening.
30 Jul 08
two chess players are having a game of chess, they are playing on a magical chess board. They say what piece they want to move and which square.
Suddenly the board stops working. The bishop says to the queen, "why can't we move?"
The queen replys: "The king is watching pawn!"
30 Jul 08
Originally posted by XXXchessguyXXXI don't want to ruin the joke, but is this about "pawn" being similarly pronounced like "porn" ?
two chess players are having a game of chess, they are playing on a magical chess board. They say what piece they want to move and which square.
Suddenly the board stops working. The bishop says to the queen, "why can't we move?"
The queen replys: "The king is watching pawn!"
30 Jul 08
1 edit
Originally posted by diskamylI don't think you need to worry unduly about ruining that joke.
I don't want to ruin the joke, but is this about "pawn" being similarly pronounced like "porn" ?
I think the joke must be a play on pawn/porn. There's an online website somewhere which uses a similar device, I wish I could remember its name...
30 Jul 08
it's old but needs to be included here:
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."