Good topic and questions. Being the father of 5 children, this topic has been talked about in my home for years.
I had very little influence over my oldest child. His mother and I divorced when he was little and against my protests was allowed to drop out of school in the 10th grade.
I remarried and had four daughters. When these children were still in diapers we began talking about how to help them get the most from public education.
We decided that as long as we were able to survive on a single income, that the other parent should be home. My wife began volunteering in the classrooms the first year the oldest daughter began school. She was home when they got home and we established that homework was always first. The kids would get a snack and start working on any projects from school. My wife was such a regular at their schools that she was on a first name basis with all of their teachers.
By being involved parents and questioning everything associated with the kids, we were able to instill good study habits and a sence of curiousity in the girls.
As a result, my oldest daughter graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA and class valedictorian. She received a major scholarship that covered all but a few thousnad dollars. She was awarded the Presidents Honor Scholar from her university.
My second daughter graduated high school one year later with a 4.0 GPA and class valedictorian. She received 1 of 5 full scholarships given each year at her university. Her college education has not cost us a single cent so far.
My third daughter graduated with a 3.8 GPA and also received nearly $20K in scholarships.
My 4th daughter is still in high school, but is a 4.0 GPA student so far, with 1 year to go.
As the kids entered middle school, my wife began volunteering there as well. By being friendly with the teachers, it allowed us to have short, informal "Parent/Teacher" conferences so often, that there was very little of what took place in their classrooms that we were unaware of. This allowed us, as parents, to re-inforce what they were learning. In essence, we provided home schooling in addition to public schooling. By being so involved in their education, the girls were able to see that what they were doing was important to us and they responded by excelling in school.
Elementary school was a breeze. The change in attitude that begins in middle school was a serious challenge. When the kids start having multiple teachers, each with their own agenda, the kids begin to lose some of the good habits they establish in elementary school and replace it with the attitudes they see around them every day. Many of the teachers are not as interested in reaching out to individual students, and the students are old enough to begin rebelling against the controls of the parents. In many cases, the children may have begun to catch up with the capabilities of their parents.
The key from my perspective is the willing involvement of the parents. It is, ultimately, the parents responsibility to guide the raising and education of their children.
We used every trick we could think of to keep them interested in school. We also trusted our children to know right from wrong. The trust we showed them may have been one of the strongest incentives that kept them out of trouble.
Another thing we did when the kids were little was to read to them every day. We had "family reading" time almost every evening. We would read childrens books during the day, but the family reading time was devoted to more difficult books. We would always start with a review of where we left off, who were the main characters, what were they doing, what other things were happening in the story, etc. Some of the books we read included, The Hobbit, The Clan of the Cave Bear, Jonathan Livingston Seagull, and many others that we felt provided good examples of story telling or story content. As they got older, we read aloud Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance and other deeper, thought provoking stories. As a result, all of my daughters are big time readers and all have been incredible students.
I firmly believe that books hold the keys to intelectual development. Books hold the accumulated knowledge of mankind. By showing this to the kids, we gave them a level of understanding that seems to be missing from so many young people in todays world.
I think that any parent with the courage to ask for input regarding raising their children is miles ahead of those parents that just "wing it". The world contains too many topics and pieces of information for any parents to be able to answer all the questions that the kids will ask. It's only by being concerned parents and questioning our own thoughts that the children will benefit the most.
Keep asking questions. Stay involved in your kids schooling. These are the keys to the kingdom, so to speak.
Take care.
Putz
Originally posted by Putz0999Good post... that is the path that our family is on right now with educating our kids. I have come to the realization that our kids learning experience is our responsibility, but I am trying to find a school that wont work against us🙂
Good topic and questions. Being the father of 5 children, this topic has been talked about in my home for years.
I had very little influence over my oldest child. His mother and I divorced when he was little and against my protests was allowed to drop out of school in the 10th grade.
I remarried and had four daughters. When these children were stil ...[text shortened]... ur kids schooling. These are the keys to the kingdom, so to speak.
Take care.
Putz
Originally posted by kathleen1I don't know...Your description flatly contradicts my experience (in Cape Town). The children are very lively and sociable; the teenagers are self-assured and capable of mature conversation, but very much teenagers for all that (not boffins but kids who know how to enjoy themselves). However, if the teachers themselves are duds--in pastels--the system can't do it by itself.
Maybe its just my opinion then, but then again I have only read about them, not actualy visited one seeing as the nearest one to me (11miles away) has just closed as they couldn't maintain numbers. I guess the feeling is that they promote very individual learning, working with trays individually at tables. Not social interaction seems to occur, which is so ...[text shortened]...
Let me know if I am wrong, but this is my understanding so far. Maybe I should study it more??
Lepomis,
As parents, we didn't let the teachers "get away" with not teaching our kids. If we felt that something was being handled wrong, we would go straight to the teacher and do a little "splainin'". If that didn't work, then we went to the Principal.
Anytime we intervened, we always talked about our strategy first. We would discuss the issues thoroughly to make sure that we had thought of every angle we could. In short, we rarely went in with demands. We usually went in with well thought out ideas designed to minimize the finger pointing. This generally allowed us to get changes made without angering any of the teachers or staff. Many of these meetings have been done by email without any knowledge by the kids. If we felt the topic was severe enough, then we would include the kids in our conversations to get their input and to make sure they were aware of what was happening.
Over the years, we developed a good reputation with the various school officials. Most of them welcomed our input. We were told on several occasions that other most other parents were basically "brushed off" because all they wanted to do was get something for nothing, but we always had suggestions that made sense. They would listen to our arguments because they knew that we wouldn't raise an issue unless we truly felt there was an issue to raise.
We became personal friends with several teachers. We had one middle school math teacher decide to delay her retirement plans just so she could have our youngest daugther in her class.
Watch for specialty programs like Future Problem Solvers, Destination Imagination, etc. These programs if properly orchestrated can be incredible opertunities to help a child learn lessons that would otherwise be closed to them.
Our oldest daughter was the international first place champion in Scenario writing in 8th grade in the Future Problem Solvers program. If you are unfamiliar with it, check it out. It's a pretty impressive program that involves students from over 80 countries. They have a 3-4 day gathering of the individual state or regional champions to meet each other, work together, and see the best solutions to many of the "problems" that the kids were given to investigate. These kids are truly some of the brightest around. It was very impressive to see them "hanging out" with each other and in some cases making friends from far away.
When we realized that our kids were top learners, we went to the magnet and advanced placement teachers and asked for their input with ideas to help keep the kids involved.
Don't be bashful. Ask questions. Stay involved.
I just went on a field trip with my youngest (17, just finishing her junior year in high school). During part of the trip, they had some class projects in physics and math to work out. My daughter had to calculate the height of a particular roller coaster. She also had to determine the speed at the top of the big drop and at the bottom of the drop. Her partner could not make the field trip, so I got volunteered to help her with some of the questions. We used a couple of estimating tricks that she was unaware of and were able to calculate the speed within 2 MPH and the height within 4 feet. Both figures were well within the margin of error that they were allowed.
Good luck with your kids. From our experience, a good student will be a good student regardless of what school they attend.
Later.
Putz
Originally posted by lepomisConfusing ... she's SUPPOSED to fall in with the teacher's rules at school just like she's supposed to fall in with your rules at home and grocery store rules at the store, restaurant rules at restaurants, etc.
That is similar to what I am looking for. I am not happy with how the school my 6 yr old is in, seems to be changing her. She appears to be falling in with the other kids/teachers rules. She has a very strong personality, but the school is doing its 'best' to change that 🙁
A saying that she has picked up on is 'you dont get what you want... you get ...[text shortened]... her, but the school acts as if it was a bad habit.
I am just not sure what to do for her.
Originally posted by lepomisIt's not the class size that matters but the quality of teachers and the school standards. Some schools think it's more important to teach about condums or gay rights instead of reading, math, science, history.
That is similar to what I am looking for. I am not happy with how the school my 6 yr old is in, seems to be changing her. She appears to be falling in with the other kids/teachers rules. She has a very strong personality, but the school is doing its 'best' to change that 🙁
A saying that she has picked up on is 'you dont get what you want... you get ...[text shortened]... her, but the school acts as if it was a bad habit.
I am just not sure what to do for her.
This usually happens when the teachers are not fully qualified to teach properly. They blame it on class size to point the fingers away from them.
Home school your children, They will thank you in later years, I was home-schooled, and we had a pretty big home-school group that would take field trips, etc and we socialized quite a bit too. Your Kids will thank you in later years when they see how much more mature they are, having less problems that public school system seems to having, (drugs, sex, etc)
Besides Homeschooling IMO will allow them to start their career or hobbies at an earlier age and be more successful. I would not be where Im at now in life had I went to public schools.
Originally posted by pawnhandlerthat's what i was thinking. you've put it very well.
Confusing ... she's SUPPOSED to fall in with the teacher's rules at school just like she's supposed to fall in with your rules at home and grocery store rules at the store, restaurant rules at restaurants, etc.
Originally posted by hamltnblueMy opinion is that the two most important things are parental support and a head that understands the need for discipline and can appoint the right people.
It's not the class size that matters but the quality of teachers and the school standards. Some schools think it's more important to teach about condums or gay rights instead of reading, math, science, history.
This usually happens when the teachers are not fully qualified to teach properly. They blame it on class size to point the fingers away from them.
The fact that teaching has become so restrictive and teachers are trained to become submissive to the pupils is a huge problem.
Education is dominated by left wing guru's whose approach to any confrontation is to try to avoid it.
Originally posted by pawnhandlerYeah... I would like to be able to edit that so it reads... rules/ideas.
Confusing ... she's SUPPOSED to fall in with the teacher's rules at school just like she's supposed to fall in with your rules at home and grocery store rules at the store, restaurant rules at restaurants, etc.
Originally posted by Bosse de NageLots of Montessori schools in my corner of the world (small part of UK) seem to be closing and not getting the support they should. I should try and visit one perhaps, for myself to see if it would affect my opinion. Perhaps the Montessori practice in the USA and rest of the world is implemented differently to the UK?
I don't know...Your description flatly contradicts my experience (in Cape Town). The children are very lively and sociable; the teenagers are self-assured and capable of mature conversation, but very much teenagers for all that (not boffins but kids who know how to enjoy themselves). However, if the teachers themselves are duds--in pastels--the system can't do it by itself.
I agree, good post.