Says my fav. teddy bear....
You're not worthless....you make a perfect bad example
If my butt looked like your face I'd.....oh wait, it does
Oh brother, Who dressed you this morning
A beauty contest, my foot, your face...I win
Did you ever think that... never mind I forgot who I was talking to
All right you, out of the gene pool
you're not the sharpest tack in the box are you
He says a few other things as well but these were the "nicest" ones 😀
hehehe found some more... this is fun!
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
Are your parents siblings?
Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.
Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
He has a mind like a steel trap - always closed!
He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?
I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!
I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!
If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
He has a very open mind... so open that most things pass right through it!
Alrighty, I'm off to bed now ,)
Originally posted by The PlumberOurfriends have adapted that to "may the flies of a thousand camels infest your testicles. .... has a nice ring to it....
As Bill Cosby said (I'm paraphrasing), "Any fool can get up on stage and talk dirty and get a few laughs, it takes a truly clever comedian to get people to laugh and still be clean." In that vein, the purpose of this thread is to post a curse (insult) that is "clean" and yet clever (and hopefully humorous - that's humourous for you Brits).
For ...[text shortened]...
My personal favorite: May you live in interesting times.
(think about it)
Anyone else?
ok.. ahem.... here goes some Montey...
"Yer mother was a hamster.... and your father smelt of elderberries!"
Originally posted by widgetGroucho....He was almost banned when talking to the woman with (12?) kid 's
That was actually Groucho Marx...
... maybe "borrowed" for GOM
... but who's looking for accuracy here?
She said she love her husband very much to which groucho replied " I love my cigars, but I take them out of my mouth every once and a while".
Hope I got that quote right.
RTh
Some Al Bundy
I'm jealous of everyone not married to you.
Peg, I suspect your mind, much like the lost continent of Atlantis,
no longer appears on any map.
White crosses, sunlight... nothing works on you anymore does it?
Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the
happiest day of my life.
I wouldn't rub your feet if a genee popped out of them.
How about if I get my gun and shoot you with a nice silver bullet.
What if I make you a nice licence-plate that says 'I'm a bore' ?
Originally posted by BeligolDid you know that the famous radio broadcasts by Churchhill (you know...the: "We will fight them on the streets and on the beaches.." and all that malarky) were actually spoken by an actor!
For you Churchill fans...
Bernard Shaw once sent Churchill two tickets for the opening of his new play, with the invitation:
Bring a friend - if you have one.
Churchill regretted that he was engaged, and asked for tickets for the second perfomance:
If there is one.
During WWII the British government got everyone involved by claiming that they needed every last bit of metal (pots, pans, etc.) to make weapons out of, to fight the nazis.
This created a sense of togetherness.
All the collected metal went to the scrap heap.
Now, I give it to you...if they had such brilliant PR strategies 60 years ago...what the hell has happened to them nowadays???