24 May 07
1 edit
I swear it's the robot's fault. I loaded this stupid contraption with a whole bunch of stuff. It even has an identification unit for background checks... apparently that feature's busted. Alright... Robot re-maintenanced to squash and incinerate nutters residing in Ireland with pooh bear avatars!!!!
Originally posted by artplayerIt was a dark November night. The town's wooden buildings creaked in a chorus of agony as they endured the furious battering of the icy wind and pounding rain. Thunder and lightning filled the gloomy sky, illuminating the darkened streets for a brief second - just long enough to catch a glimpse of a few brave souls venturing out in the vicious storm. They were headed for the Wild Rose tavern. Inside, the barkeep stood cursing the weather as he washed the counter tops with a dirty rag. Suddenly the door, caught by the wind, flew open with a deafening thud and in strode the only adventures courageous enough to venture out this night. Silhouetted by the fading torch light, the barkeep could only just make out the figures standing in his doorway. He shuddered in fear; they were all adorned in black, with deathly pale skin and long dark hair. What were they? Dark Elves? Undead minions? Vampires? It wasn't until they stepped forward into the light that the barkeep realised the true extent of their horror. He let out a deafening screech filled the air, the kind only the darkest banshee from the depths of the underworld could make, as he ran in abject terror from his tavern.... they were Roleplayers.
OK... This is a role playing thread, an opportunity for you redhotpawners to show some creativity. For those of you who don't know what role playing is, it's pretty much a made up place where a certain number of individuals go around doing made up stuff. It's a lot of fun if you have a good imagination and sense of adventure, and there's no limit to what y clean fellas. That goes for you too ladies.
Let the role playing begin.... (muahahahaha)
A strange combination of morbidly obese and anorexicly skinny, the gormless bunch of social rejects waddled over to the nearest table. They put down their dice pots and character sheets and looked towards the DM. He was a King amongst men, the geekiest of all the group. RP'ing for over 30 years he not only stood out like a paedophile in a playground in this rabble of teenagers, but he knew every detail about the numerous rulebooks and monster guides - an amazing skill he put to use almost every day by smugly posting in D'n'D forums the tedious lists of errors and faults that he found in the books. Commanding his goth minions, he set them the task of rolling stats. Of course he gave special consideration to the only female in the group - the grotesquely overweight man-beast with a fetish for leather boots and revealing clothes - as repayment for the sexual favours last night. Surprisingly, she was playing the flirty, nubile elven maiden/bard again. Hungrily she gazed around the group wondering who would flirt with her character the most this evening and therefore get the pleasure the pleasure of her company tonight - sort of like a game of fat, drunken-sex roulette.
(Someone else with a positive IQ carry on the story...)
24 May 07
Originally posted by Daemon SinSuddenly, the bartender leapt from behind the bar wielding a Striker-12, and as he let fly with a flurry of shotgun blasts, he smiled to himself - he would vanquish the roleplayers once and for all. Their DM was the source of all roleplaying power, and with that power extinguished, all roleplayers everywhere would shuffle off this mortal coil. As the final roleplayer fell to the bloody mess that was the floor, one final scream split the stormy night - the sound of a million roleplaying losers' souls shrieking on their way to hell.
It was a dark November night. The town's wooden buildings creaked in a chorus of agony as they endured the furious battering of the icy wind and pounding rain. Thunder and lightning filled the gloomy sky, illuminating the darkened streets for a brief second - just long enough to catch a glimpse of a few brave souls venturing out in the vicious storm. The ...[text shortened]... - sort of like a game of fat, drunken sex roulette.
(Someone else carry on the story...)
PS - Nerflor Octavius Aloysius Dorkenstein the third was returned to the thread by the dark forces of the DM, and now that his job is done, will fade into the ether once again.
24 May 07
Originally posted by st00p1dfac3Glarnandil the leper looks on in amusement !!!!
Suddenly, the bartender leapt from behind the bar wielding a Striker-12, and as he let fly with a flurry of shotgun blasts, he smiled to himself - he would vanquish the roleplayers once and for all. Their DM was the source of all roleplaying power, and with that power extinguished, all roleplayers everywhere would shuffle off this mortal coil. As the f ...[text shortened]... y the dark forces of the DM, and now that his job is done, will fade into the ether once again.