Originally posted by Rank outsiderI think you've got the best one there, but a close second would be the line in the firing squad episode:
Explaining the 1st World War (not exact quote)
Blackadder : The plan was to have two such massive armed forces, one opposed against the other, so that there could never be a war again.
Baldrick : But, er, this is sort of a war?
Blackadder: Ah, yes, but you see there was one tiny flaw in the plan....
George : Which was?
Blackadder : It was bollocks.
Soldier: (camp) Y'know, Captain Blackadder, I've just got to admire your balls.
Blackadder: (long pause) Maybe later.
Originally posted by Freddie2004and that woman from Harry Enfield elaborated on this during one of the "Comic Relief" nights by saying, as Jonathan Ross walked onto stage:
Flash: " Nursie...is that a canoe in my trousers or am I please to see you...WOOF!"
"Is that a wet flannel between my legs, or am I just pleased to see you?"
Blackadder: " Name?"
Baldrick: " Baldrick"
Blackadder: " What's your first name?"
Baldrick: " I don't know, it might be Sod Off"
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Blackadder: " Any special features Baldrick?"
Baldrick: " Well I've got this funny growth in the middle of my face???"
Blackadder: " That's your nose!"
Blackadder: I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese
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Blackadder: Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?
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Flashheart: Thanks, Bridesmaid. Like the beard. Gives me something to hang on to.WOOF
Originally posted by dark mad vikingI didn't see any from the much underrated series 1.
Flash Heart - "I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants!"
Here are two kinda lengthy ones from the Queen of Spain's beard.
Edmund: 'morning.
Baldrick: My God, what's happened to your neck?
Edmund: Erm, er, well, well, well, well, they're love bites, actually!
Baldrick: Look more like dog bites to me.
Edmund: Well, yes, yes, she was, erm, a bit of an animal!
Percy: Really, My Lord!
Edmund: Oh yes!
Percy: Fight to the death, eh!
Edmund: Oh yes. Well, as my tutor, Old Bubbleface used to say, "Make love and be merry, for tomorrow you may catch some disgusting skin disease."
Baldrick: Actually, I'd be prepared to swear they were dog bites.
Edmund: They are not dog bites! She was very attractive.
Baldrick: Yeah: shiny coat, wet nose, clear eyes...
Percy: You know, they do say that the Infanta's eyes are more beautiful than the famous Stone of Galveston.
Edmund: Mm! ... What?
Percy: The famous Stone of Galveston, My Lord.
Edmund: And what's that, exactly?
Percy: Well, it's a famous blue stone, and it comes ... from Galveston.
Edmund: I see. And what about it?
Percy: Well, My Lord, the Infanta's eyes are bluer than it, for a start.
Edmund: I see. And have you ever seen this stone?
Percy: (nods) No, not as such, My Lord, but I know a couple of people who have, and they say it's very very blue indeed.
Edmund: And have these people seen the Infanta's eyes?
Percy: No, I shouldn't think so, My Lord.
Edmund: And neither have you, presumably.
Percy: No, My Lord.
Edmund: So, what you're telling me, Percy, is that something you have never seen is slightly less blue than something else you have never seen.
Percy: (finally begins to grasp) Yes, My Lord.
Oh, I can't resist it......
Melchett : Fine body of men, Blackadder
Blackadder : Soon to be fine bodies of young men.
It is noticeable that most of the quotes come from "Goes forth", which I would rate as the finest comedy series of all time (any other suggestions?). I would also rate the last episode the finest comic half-hour ever (any other suggestions?).
Of couse, other candidates are:
Fawlty Towers : The Health Inspector (the Rat)
"It's not a hamster, Manuel. It's a rat. You have rats in Spain, don't you? Or did Franco have them all shot?"
Red Dwarf IV : Dimension Jump
Hancock : The Blood Donor
But what really sets "Goes Forth" apart is the last 2 minutes and Blackadder's last words.