Feeling secure

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
I am reaching for my wallet as we speak sir.

Hurry.

Originally posted by @moonbus
Hurry.

With an IQ of 157 sir, the Ghost invariably speaks in code.

Thus, 'I am reaching for my wallet as we speak' translates as, 'I am reporting you as we speak to the appropriate authorities, while simultaneously eating a cheese sandwich.'

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
With an IQ of 157 sir, the Ghost invariably speaks in code.

Thus, 'I am reaching for my wallet as we speak' translates as, 'I am reporting you as we speak to the appropriate authorities, while simultaneously eating a cheese sandwich.'

The cucumber is crunchy this evening. 😉

Originally posted by @wolfgang59
The cucumber is crunchy this evening. 😉

Indeed sir, and the walrus is rampaging through the cauliflowers. I repeat, the walrus is rampaging through the cauliflowers!!

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
Indeed sir, and the walrus is rampaging through the cauliflowers. I repeat, the walrus is rampaging through the cauliflowers!!

Brassica Alert!
Bro!
C.C. Oli is ready!

Originally posted by @wolfgang59
Brassica Alert!
Bro!
C.C. Oli is ready!

I was asked what protection I use during sex.
I replied that I have always found a bus shelter to be perfectly adequate.

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
With an IQ of 157 sir, the Ghost invariably speaks in code.

Thus, 'I am reaching for my wallet as we speak' translates as, 'I am reporting you as we speak to the appropriate authorities, while simultaneously eating a cheese sandwich.'

With your IQ of 157, I assumed you would correctly decode "hurry" to mean "seek shelter in a bus stop because the walrus is rampaging through the cauliflowers." Elementary, my dear Watson.

Originally posted by @moonbus
With your IQ of 157, I assumed you would correctly decode "hurry" to mean "seek shelter in a bus stop because the walrus is rampaging through the cauliflowers." Elementary, my dear Watson.

By Jove, you have an IQ of 158! 😲

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
Alas, the small print said:

Fully Protected!

( Please note you are not however protected from all the idiots who inhabit our planet. You can however upgrade to get protection from B rate celebrities and the Liberal Democrats).

How about HM Customs and Excise; any protection there? I would be prepared to pay an additional premium, or do I have to start smuggling again?