Originally posted by NordlysNordlys-I take it Swedish jokes in Norway are much like "Ostfriesenwitze" in German?
I know this as a Swede joke:
Three Swedes found some tracks. "They are bear tracks", said the first one. "No, they are hare tracks", said the second. The third one didn't get a chance to say anything, because just at that moment they got hit by the train.
Originally posted by NordlysA Swede with a heavy accent calls the doctor , and exclaims , "My wvife , she havin' a heart attack ! Come qwvick!"
I know this as a Swede joke:
Three Swedes found some tracks. "They are bear tracks", said the first one. "No, they are hare tracks", said the second. The third one didn't get a chance to say anything, because just at that moment they got hit by the train.
Doctor - "Where do you live?"
Swede - "On da corner of Magnolia and Eucalyptus ."
Doctor - "Spell that please , you accent's rather think and I want to get the location right."
Pause.....Swede - "I'll drag her over to Main and Elm and meet you der !"
People seem to pick on the swedes like we pick on the newfies. It's all newfie (or indian) jokes up here.
Two newfies were driving to Toronto. They saw a saw a sign that read Toronto left, so the turned around and went home.
A guy was boke down on the side of the road with his motorbike. An indian comes strolling by asking what the problem was.
"Piston broke" replies the motorist
"Ah, you too huh."
Apologies in advance. 😞
Originally posted by mokkoHow does a Newfie take a bubble bath?
People seem to pick on the swedes like we pick on the newfies. It's all newfie (or indian) jokes up here.
Two newfies were driving to Toronto. They saw a saw a sign that read Toronto left, so the turned around and went home.
A guy was boke down on the side of the road with his motorbike. An indian comes strolling by asking what the problem was.
"Piston broke" replies the motorist
"Ah, you too huh."
Apologies in advance. 😞
He farts in a puddle.
What's an Indian's two favourite colours?
Blue and Blue Light.
(Mokko started it.)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, and then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
two more...
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”
A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.” But instead I said: “You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life”.”
it aint the best but it makes me laugh
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police. The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.
The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The FBI went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.
The CPD went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear was yelling "Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".
Originally posted by leestaticThis one's been around the block a few times in various incarnations. The one I know is how to catch a crocodile.
it aint the best but it makes me laugh
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police. The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.
The CIA went into the forest. They placed ...[text shortened]... r with a badly beaten bear.
The bear was yelling "Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".
So this horse is sitting quietly at the bar counter enjoying his drink and the barman asks him: "Why the long face?"