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Originally posted by whodey
.....is not what this thread is about.

Instead, I would like some helpful tips on how to grow a good lawn this year. Any suggestions? So what do people do? Do you fertilize? Is aeration a hoax? What about weed control? What is the cheapest most effective method?

Sorry about the tease, but I need input here!! 😠
Simplest and cheapest path to a decent lawn is mow short and mow often.
That will get rid of your weeds and encourage dense grass.
You can leave short clippings on your lawn.
Grass is pretty drought resistant - it wont look pretty brown but
will recover quickly so don't worry if you forget to water sometimes.

Of course if your current lawn is in a bad state you will have to get
rid of all the thatch, moss and weeds first. 🙁


Just ONE down thumb. How is this possible? Are you all ......

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Originally posted by whodey
I'll pay you a nickel.

😀

It's about all I've got to spend on my lawn. Just wanted some cheap solutions is all.
LOL, you're such a poor sod, aren't you? No wonder you're angry at the whole world.

You know what, if we ever meet I'll treat you to a biggie soda. I can easily spare that much.

😉

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Originally posted by SwissGambit
I allow a whole group of lesbians to have constant sex on my lawn during the month of March. My lawn always comes out immaculate. Something about what they do really works that sod into the soil. 🙂
How much will that cost me?


Originally posted by whodey
I'll pay you a nickel.

😀

It's about all I've got to spend on my lawn. Just wanted some cheap solutions is all.
Ok...let me tell you how to get a great lawn in four easy steps

1) Go to one of your municipal golf courses/cricket pitch/football pitch/park with a turf cutter.
2)cut turf from pitch (this is better done when the the playing field of choice is not being used).
3)return to your garden and insert the turf strategically into your garden.
4)repeat steps 1-3 till you are happy with your garden.


If you don't have a turf cutter you could use a spade...or you could add another step "1) Borrow a turf cutter or spade from a neighbour"

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Originally posted by huckleberryhound
Ok...let me tell you how to get a great lawn in four easy steps

1) Go to one of your municipal golf courses/cricket pitch/football pitch/park with a turf cutter.
2)cut turf from pitch (this is better done when the the playing field of choice is not being used).
3)return to your garden and insert the turf strategically into your garden.
4)repea ...[text shortened]... use a spade...or you could add another step "1) Borrow a turf cutter or spade from a neighbour"
Just Pave Paradise or install astro turf

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Originally posted by whodey
How much will that cost me?
Not much at all, if you're not too particular about looks. 😛

2 edits
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Originally posted by huckleberryhound
Ok...let me tell you how to get a great lawn in four easy steps

1) Go to one of your municipal golf courses/cricket pitch/football pitch/park with a turf cutter.
2)cut turf from pitch (this is better done when the the playing field of choice is not being used).
3)return to your garden and insert the turf strategically into your garden.
4)repea ...[text shortened]... use a spade...or you could add another step "1) Borrow a turf cutter or spade from a neighbour"
Ha....ha.....ha,ha,ha.....ha!!

Funny stuff, but do I really want to go to jail for stealing grass unless I can at least enjoy smoking the stuff? 😛

Besides, I don't want people golfing in my yard. 😠

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Originally posted by Great King Rat
LOL, you're such a poor sod, aren't you? No wonder you're angry at the whole world.

You know what, if we ever meet I'll treat you to a biggie soda. I can easily spare that much.

😉
Angry at the world? All I ask for is lawn advice and I'm angry at the world?

Speaking of poor sod, what is your suggestion?

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Take a crap on a different patch of your lawn every morning. Should do the trick!

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