I think I'm in the same boat as Mark, except without the lovely girl by my side. I've had half of my friends get married between 20-25, and I've got 2 more who have set dates in the next 12 months. The only unwed ones left have either been in the same relationship for years or have never had a girlfriend.
Some of these friends have had children (which are great fun to play with and wind up, and then give back in a totally hyper state🙄). To anyone older it may sound ridiculous, but I feel like I'm being left behind. Let alone that the age gap between myself and any children I may have it getting larger, I haven't found anybody to have those children with.
So I'd like to pose the question, not on when you got married, but at what age you found the girl you are with today, and if it was later in life then how is it different (better?) that when you were younger?
I got married at 24.
I knew my wife 3 months when I asked her to marry me.Well I never asked,we just decided it would be more practical.We will be married 7 years in April.
We never planned on having kids and we were also told my wife will never be able to have children.We also felt a few billion were more then enough so we took it well.
My daughter turned 3 a week ago.Imagine our shock and surprise when we discovered my wife's pregnancy.I was 28 when my daughter was born.We decided we would raise the baby to the best of our ability.We never considered doing anything but that.
I know how Kirk felt,ours did not sleep for the first 18 months either😴.Those were tough times.It really put our relationship under a lot of pressure as I was working very hard at the time.
Today my wife is still my best friend the only difference is I now have two friends at home.I sometimes try to imagine my life without them,it scares me.My wife sometimes says to me:"Imagine how rich you would have been had you never gotten married."I believe I am doing well because of them.Without them I might have been an unemployed drug addict or something😀
Mark,there will never be any guarantees.Never.Always 50/50.You always take a chance.The moment you love someone you leave yourself vulnerable and that is a scary thought.Dying is a scary thought,but it will happen.Sharing your life with someone is a choice.You may decide to never let it happen.That will be sad because you never know what you might miss out on.
One day when I am 80 years old I dont want to sip my beer pondering what might have been.
No regrets.I believe living with regrets is much more difficult than dying without any.
Wow,my longest post ever I reckon.More like a sermon really🙄
Due to get married this April.
10 years on and off during our relationship, then we had our son, so my fate was decided. 🙂
Having a child is a fantastic experience, but be prepared to make some huge life adjustments. Just get everything out of your system now - travel, party, do all you can. Then you will not resent the fact that you have had to change your lifestyle or envy those who still have their freedom.
-Russ
Originally posted by Dr. Brainso that's how old you are! Happy birthday to Mika 😀
I got married at 24.
I knew my wife 3 months when I asked her to marry me.Well I never asked,we just decided it would be more practical.We will be married 7 years in April.
We never planned on having kids and we were also told my wife will never be able to have children.We also felt a few billion were more then enough so we took it well.
My daught ...[text shortened]... fficult than dying without any.
Wow,my longest post ever I reckon.More like a sermon really🙄
There is the ideal of marriage and there is real life. Don't worry about "getting to know" her. Every adult human being becomes an entirely different person every three years or so. In my marriage (32 years in June) what matters is that we started out as friends and have managed to keep a sense of humor. Your spouse will need to adapt to 10 different you's and you will need to adapt to 10 different women over your life. If you know this going in, you can work at being more adaptable. Did you know that arranged marriages seem to last longer and be happier (over long periods of time) than those where we seek out our "ideal" mate? True. The reason is that, like the weather, if you don't like it now, just wait a year or two. Never let it be said "That wasn't part of the bargain." Change happens. Enjoy.
Originally posted by kirksey957well said! I remember the feeling I had when my wife called me to tell me we were having a baby...ABSOLUTE FEAR!! The rest of the relationship stuff was a cake walk in comparison.
The first thing I will say is that life-long commitments are hard. Secondly, there are no perfect relationships. Take your time. I tell couples that are thinking of getting married to spend as much on marriage therapy as they will on the wedding and honeymoon. Look at your values, attitudes about money, ability to separate emotionally from your paren ...[text shortened]... nhips and you can just smell the lawyers lurking ( my apologies to the lawyers on the site).
child at 27, married at 28.
Originally posted by T1000Mark,
How old were you when you got married? I feel ridiculously young to be thinking about marriage, but then a couple of my friends have recently got engaged/set the date etc.
And for those who aren't married, does not the prospect/concept of marriage not utterly terrify you? Similarly with regard to having children. I'm 22, and have a girlfriend who I care f ...[text shortened]...
T1000
PS Why do I get the feeling that Kirksey957 is gonna make some wisecrack shortly? 😀
I have been married for almost 22 wonderful years. I knew she was the one as soon as I saw here. Couldn't ask for a better partner. I'm surprised she's put up with me this long! LOL
We were married for almost 12 years before we had our first and only child. Wow, what a change, but so worthwhile. My little girl (10 now) is so precious. Glad she is a part of our life.
I turned 24 one month after we were married. I'm now 45 and worn out from trying to keep up with my daughter.
I think by showing respect for my wife and honoring her it has kept our marriage strong. Of course, I'm not perfect and haven't always been what I should be, but she has stuck by me. It was a commitment that we both made and we have never considered the alternative.
It's great to go through life with a wife. She is my best friend and I would be lost without her. We look to each other for the strength we need. Our common faith has also kept our marriage strong.
I hope you find great happiness in marriage. When you care for someone as much as you obviously do, it only gets better.
Doug