Originally posted by shavixmirBut Guppster, in a comminist work place would't everyone do the least amount of work possible and let the energetic workers do most of the work.....they're all getting paid the same? There's no incentive to do more. Just asking.
Lie and lie again.
No. Just letting it ring will only serve to let them let it ring, and you will keep being frustrated.
What you want to do is pick up the phone, lie and then lie to the people who the phone is for.
"Good afternoon, this is MI5, who can I pass you to."
"...answer..."
"I will pass you to "...x...."
Then you take on anoth ...[text shortened]... ill understand that they should pick up the FFing phone themselves....
Try one of these the next time it happens:
1. Let it ring for 1 minute. When you answer, say: "If s/he was here, which s/he isn't, s/he would have answered the phone, wouldn't s/he have? Now go away and let me work."
2. Pick it up straightaway and say, "Hang 10, Dude," then yell so that everyone in the office (and the caller) can hear you: "Whose jerk is this, interupting my sleep? Gah, there aren't half some useless, inconsiderate dipsticks in this world!" Then hang up.
3. Cover the mouthpiece with a hankie and whisper (in a Scottish accent if possible), "Is that the Polis? We've got a robbery in progress. Oh god, he's got a knife and a snake."
Then start shouting: "No, not me, not me, no, no, PLEASE!!!!"
Then hang up.
4. Pick up and say, "Normal rates for this call are twenty nine dollars, ninety-nine cents per minute. Please wait until one of our beautiful hostesses isavailable." Then gently lay the handset down on the desk and start breathing heavily and grunting, adding short squeals every few seconds.
5. Pick up (eventually) and say, "Just a moment please, your call is being transferred, at no extra cost to you. (quieter...) While you are waiting to be connected, (a little quieter...) please be assured that we value all our customers equally, (even quieter...) and want to offer you the best experience in customer service. (just a bit quieter...)Please have your credit card ready to finalise the transaction. (barely audible, now...) An operator will be with you in a second. (SHOUT) Who's that? What's your name? Whaddya want?"
Then hang up.
6. Answer, and before they have a chance to speak, ask the caller's name. Then ask how to spell it. Twice. Then ask for their number. Mis-read it back to them. Then ask who they want to talk to. Ask again, as if you never heard of that person. Ask them to spell the name. Twice. Then ask if that is a man or a woman, and what exactly they do. Then ask them to describe the person. Get the exact age, height and weight, and mumble something like: "Sounds like the guy who got fired for messing about with the new assistant in the accounts department." Then ask if you can take a message, assuming of course that you can find out exactly who to give the message to. Repeat the message, asking them to spell any words over 6 letters. Then thank the caller and hang up.
7. Nah, that should be enough for this week. If you need more help, call me....
- Joined
- 05 Oct 05
- Moves
- 63425
Originally posted by c99uxJust reading this made me angry. Yes, I vote for this one.
Try one of these the next time it happens:
6. Answer, and before they have a chance to speak, ask the caller's name. Then ask how to spell it. Twice. Then ask for their number. Mis-read it back to them. Then ask who they want to talk to. Ask again, as if you never heard of that person. Ask them to spell the name. Twice. Then ask if that is a man or a woman, ...[text shortened]... essage, asking them to spell any words over 6 letters. Then thank the caller and hang up.
Originally posted by c99ux#5's my favorite. Nice!
Try one of these the next time it happens:
1. Let it ring for 1 minute. When you answer, say: "If s/he was here, which s/he isn't, s/he would have answered the phone, wouldn't s/he have? Now go away and let me work."
2. Pick it up straightaway and say, "Hang 10, Dude," then yell so that everyone in the office (and the caller) can hear you: "Whose jerk is ...[text shortened]... that should be enough for this week. If you need more help, call me....
Originally posted by SJ247When people ask for your phone number, a nice way to annoy them is by misgrouping the numbers. For example, let's say your number is: (423) 967-4769. When someone asks, say "4 (long pause) 2397 (said very fast) seventy four (long pause) 7 (long pause) 6 9.
Just reading this made me angry. Yes, I vote for this one.
Stupid, but fun.
Ok, in all reality messing with the customers is not good business. It is not their fault. But I would invest in a good I-pod or whatever they call those headphone music players and wear it while you work. In the meantime unplug your phone and go into everyone else's office and turn their phone up to high volume ring tones. Keep your door closed at all times and put a sign on your door, out to lunch, be back next week. Place a chair backwards against the door in case they put their shoulder into it. And never ever admit a thing, just claim someone must have played a practical joke.
- Joined
- 05 Oct 05
- Moves
- 63425
Originally posted by rbmorrisYou nailed it, I hate that, and it's usually an old woman that does it to me, so it's hard to want to slug her.
When people ask for your phone number, a nice way to annoy them is by misgrouping the numbers. For example, let's say your number is: (423) 967-4769. When someone asks, say "4 (long pause) 2397 (said very fast) seventy four (long pause) 7 (long pause) 6 9.
Stupid, but fun.
Originally posted by mollybakerWhen the phone rings get up and go to the toilet.
Got into a bad habit.When we get a call anyone in the office can answer,but now everyone lets it ring till i pick the damm thing up.
When I pick up they all want to know who it is and is it for them.
I am being treated like a filter.
What is the strategy for dealing with this sort of abuse of my time?
or
Answer phone and divert call to whoever has pissed you off the most that day.
Originally posted by mollybakerhttp://tinyurl.com/2lewra
Got into a bad habit.When we get a call anyone in the office can answer,but now everyone lets it ring till i pick the damm thing up.
When I pick up they all want to know who it is and is it for them.
I am being treated like a filter.
What is the strategy for dealing with this sort of abuse of my time?