Originally posted by Bosse de NagePlumber would be a more suitable profession. Plus, he'll need a mushroom addiction and a disturbing tendency to hide in large green pipes.
Change your name to Mario, get a job as a delivery man. Be on the lookout for apes, crocodiles, and other assorted menaces. Keep it deadpan. Never change your cap.
EDIT: I'd also suggest partaking a hobby such as this: