Walrus Jokes (for ark)

Sir. Flops-A-Lot the walrus came upon Sir. Arfs-A-Lot the walrus, who was flopping around in a circle. After watching for a few minutes, the former asked, "Why are you flopping so much? That's supposed to be my job." "It's to keep those evil monkeys away," replied Arfs-A-Lot. "Ooh, good thinking. We don't want any of those monkeys around here. They eat bananas and make scary monkey noises." So Sir Flops-A-Lot joined Sir. Arfs-A-Lot in flopping around merrily. A few minutes later, Flops-A-Lot stopped, thought for a second and said, "But Arfs-A-Lot, there aren't any monkeys within a hundred miles of this iceberg." "I know, works like a charm, huh?"


And this, boys and girls, is an example of faulty logic displayed by Sir. Arfs-A-Lot the walrus. He assumes the lack of monkeys is a result of his flopping. However, there were no monkeys around before he started flopping too. Sir. Flops-A-Lot knew this, and deemed it appropriate to slap him with a cod.

Mr. Wigglesworth the walrus came home one night to find his wife crying.

"Why all the blubbering?" he asks her.

"I've gained ten pounds in a month," she responds, letting out another sob.

"I can see that," says Mr. Wigglesworth, "I asked 'why'."

Originally posted by ark13
Sir. Flops-A-Lot the walrus came upon Sir. Arfs-A-Lot the walrus, who was flopping around in a circle. After watching for a few minutes, the former asked, "Why are you flopping so much? That's supposed to be my job." "It's to keep those evil monkeys away," replied Arfs-A-Lot. "Ooh, good thinking. We don't want any of those monkeys around here. Th ...[text shortened]... ted flopping too. Sir. Flops-A-Lot knew this, and deemed it appropriate to slap him with a cod.

Two walri are sitting on an iceberg drifting aimlessly in the ocean. Suddenly, they hear a thudding from under the iceberg. It grows louder and louder until suddenly a stream of fish break through the ice and dive into the walri's awaiting mouths. Thousands and thousands of fish jump up though the hole. Once the walri have had their fill, the iceberg has drifted on past the miraculous fish spot. "Wow, that was amazing," said one. "Yes," replied the other, "ready to go home?" So they both push off the drifting iceberg and swam to shore many many miles away. Upon hauling themselves on shore, one asks the other, "Do you think we'll ever find that spot again?" "I'm sure we will," replies the other, "I marked the spot on the iceberg." "You're so stupid," exclaims the first, "How do you know we'll find the same iceberg again?"

Originally posted by Checkmate187
Obviously you haven't heard of a Japanese Snow Monkey.

We are everywhere. Everywhere.