Glad that one made ya laugh Doug...and yes...the ass whipping that
ensued afterwards was not one of my happier moments...my Dad with
the belt in his right hand my hand in his left...I swear we went in a
circle for about 30 minutes.
I got quite a few of those growing up...funniest one is when we were
on a family trip....we had an old Crap brown Gremlin...do you
remember those?...and we had been driving all day and my dad was
already tired from driving and I am sure we had him all pissed off by
screaming "We want Dairy Queen" everytime we passed by one and
then when he didn't.."You don't love us!" must have just resonatated
up his spine and brought the boiling point to the surface...well...it was
getting dark and my mother told me and my sister to lay down and
get some sleep...so we did...but my crusty sister had to get one last
kick in...so I smacked her one back and then my dad...while doing 55
down the Interstate leans back and whacks us both on the butt real
quick with his hand. My sister...who is two years older than me...and
obviously smarter at that point..puts her head under her pillow and
cries a little very quietly.
Me on the other hand...smartass that I was...put my head under my
pillow and uttered the stupidest thing that has ever come out of my
mouth..."Didn't huuuuuurt!"
This was followed by a bellowing "DIDN'T HURT??????????????"
And tires were squealing as my dad proceeded to make a record of
55 - 0...stopping the car on the side of the Interstate...dragging my
butt out of the back seat and whipping off his belt one handed like
Clint Eastwood in one of the spaghetti westerns and whupped my butt
right there on the side of the road....cars flying by and everything.
I learned alot from that dumb episode..hehehe...basically when to
keep my big mouth shut...although as you can tell sometimes I forget.
Dave
Captain USA
I found that story amusing until I realized it wasn't a movie. My
parents were pretty awful, but at least they never beat me very much
(a few spankings as I recall) Now, being a father of a 5 year old boy,
I get angry at stories like that. I can't imaging hitting my son. Let
alone beating him to that extent!
My father has cancer now so I'm trying to work stuff through w/ him.
We hadn't spoken for many years (it took a lot of convincing just to
get him to come to my wedding) and there's is a lot of baggage. I
don't like the man but on some level I still love him cause he's who I
call Dad.
I've seen a couple of friends who's father's have died with a lot up
stuff still unresolved. But once they're dead there's nothing you can
do about it.
I'm rambling a bit here but I think my point here is that I hope you're
OK with your dad. You're joking about it so I guess that's a good
sign.
I've heard it said that the "issues" (psychological) you don't resolve or
deal with you leave to your children, and I believe that to be true.
That's incentive enough for me. I want to be the best dad I can be. I
don't my baggage contaminating my relationship with my son.
....a bit heavy for a reaction to an amusing story?...probably.
Just my thoughts.
I may not be the best chess player, but I'm a damned good father
and husband🙂
Franklin
Franklin...my dad and I resolved our issues years ago about anything
that could arise from these kind of situations...trust me...my stories
are not to make anyone try to think I have a problem with my dad or
that i was a majorly abused child...those stories are just part of my
upbringing and although they seem like a harsh thing compared to
today's standards...I look back upon them and see that in a way..they
are pretty funny.
Like one time...I had screwed up and knew i was getting a spanking
when my dad got home and so I thought it would be smart to stick
some washcloths in my jeans...the back mind you...wasn't old enough
to think of sticking stuff in the front..hehehe...anyway..when I bent
over and the belt hit it went POOOOMPHHHHH...instead of
WHACK....to which I looked back with this sheepish grin on my face...I
don't remember anything after that....just kidding...
I don't believe in spankings totally but I know that if I didn't get mine
growing up I might have turned out in alot different situation than I
am today...so for that I thank my Dad.
And trust me Franklin...you can laugh at my stories....that is why i tell
them.
Dave
Captain USA
Stories are great..but when you write them down you can't add that
special quality of facial expression and body language...which takes
the story to a new plane. But I am glad that I can actually make a few
of you laugh with some of my stupid things...everyday i try to look for
something that just doesn't seem right..and see if I can't find
something funny in it.
I told a great one to maggoteer yesterday involving the forth of july
and a drunk police chase...if I had had a video camera I would have
made alot of money.
Dave
Captain USA
- Joined
- 04 Jan 02
- Moves
- 11961
I work with a number of kids who sustained brain injuries as a result of
parental abuse when they were infants, so I take the whole subject
of "corporal punishment" very seriously. But I was also spanked
regularly as a kid, and every single one of them was deserved, and I
turned out (relatively) well-adjusted. The fact that Dave has resolved
those issues, and can joke about those events now, is fantastic. And
Franklin-- I'm glad to hear you're working through stuff with your
father. My parents won't be around forever, so I make sure there is
no bad blood between us, ever. I try to live by the words-- "Watch
what you say to people-- they may be the last words they ever hear
from you."
Whoah, too much seriousness here. Rhymester, bring us a poem,
STAT!
Tim
The Dark Squire
Dave,
You did that also. The whoop turned out to a whooping on the
bare butt. I still remember it. It was not from my dad, It was from a
Sister at the Christian Convent school I was sent to live when my mom
passed away. A long, long time a go.
John
The Ambassador
Little Grasshopper
King Of MAP
Most Titled Player
Asst. Captain Team USA