Originally posted by AcolyteAs a result, we can conclude indisputably that you are using Windows and likely have little experience with computers. Therefore, your point in this thread is a poor one, because it wasn't ordained by God. In fact, your comment allows us to assume that you are morally bankrupt.
Hmm... I seem to be having problems reading this thread. I'll come back in the morning.
Nemesio
Nemesio, your argument is solid, so Acolyte must be a Windows user. However, he's told me in private that he's a Mac user. Since this is a contradiction between two true statements, but one that is as we saw true, it must be an instance of an act of God, and since God can't act unless he exists, God must exist.
However, the fact that I believed Acolyte when he told me he is a Mac user indicates that I am a very faithful person, so my opinion about God is pretty questionable. Thus God doesn't exist.
Since my conclusions of the previous two paragraphs are conflicting but both true, the argument of my first paragraph proves that God exists...
Let's review, shall we?
Originally posted by royalchicken
Nemesio, your argument is solid,
You see, this was where you first erred. You assumed because I am 'THE MAN,' that my reasoning was solid. However, because Jupiter was in Capricorn's house, my post was in fact in error. By divine intervention, I have remained 'THE MAN,' but the conclusions you drew were thereby flawed.
Originally posted by royalchicken
Acolyte must be a Windows user. However, he's told me in private that he's a Mac user. Since this is a contradiction between two true statements, but one that is as we saw true, it must be an instance of an act of God, and since God can't act unless he exists, God must exist.
Let me try to explain this: You see, Acolyte doesn't own a computer. He posts by communicating telepathically with aliens who, in turn, use their computers (running windows, as I said). Since aliens are tri-pedal, this proves that we weren't created in God's image and, thereby, since the Bible is always true, God doesn't exist.
Originally posted by royalchicken
However, the fact that I believed Acolyte when he told me he is a Mac user indicates that I am a very faithful person, so my opinion about God is pretty questionable. Thus God doesn't exist.
Acolyte once posted 'there's something seriously wrong with getting people to swear by something they don't believe in.' As you can see, your faith is not at issue. Acolyte clearly believes in God; in fact, this quotation makes it clear that he calls that God, 'Spot.' As a result, your conclusion that God doesn't exist is patently false, because Spot has four legs.
For reference:
http://www.redhotpawn.com/board/showthread.php?id=13499
Originally posted by royalchicken
Since my conclusions of the previous two paragraphs are conflicting but both true, the argument of my first paragraph proves that God exists...
Acutally, all of your conclusions were false (largely because you agreed with Nemesio in light of the aforementioned astrological signs), so their conflict was immaterial. What really worries me is that you aren't saved. Consider this Bible passage: ...for you tithe mint and dill and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faith. I think it is clear what you must do. If you don't know, look it up, because every other reputable unbiased scientist knows.
Nemesio
😉
Originally posted by Jay PeateaThis is such a horribly inconsistent story that I'm awarding 6 points. Well done!
Well I had a near death experience once, i was driving down a country lane which was quite dark because of the trees on both sides, as I turned the corner to exit the small glade. The sun glare was so bright that I couldn't see properly but an animal quickly darted across the road. I slammed on my brakes and skidded to a halt in a ditch, my car crumpled ...[text shortened]... would have gone through the window screen. I was lucky to be alive so you see god does exist.
I have conducted an entirely random and representative survey of my friends asking them the question "Does God exist?". Here are the results.
Rajesh YES; Dave NO; Belinda YES; Arnold YES; Phil NO; Betty NO; Phubar YES; William NO; Fitz YES; Getrude YES. That equals 6 YES and 4 NO
However, we all know that such polls cannot be taken on face value, and that numerous social and economic factors must be taken into account. Consequently, each of the people recieve a negative or positive factor against which their vote is applied to. You'll get the picture:
Rajesh: Rajesh is renowned for his excellent spelling and grammar. Consequently, he is of a higher intellect than the rest of us, and as such his vote gets apositive factor of four = 4xYES (4YES)
Dave: Dave, on the other hand is dyslexic and is crap at spelling and grammar. This obvious low-intelligence being is of little worth to society and his vote is reduced by a factor of four = NO/4 (ie 0.25NO)
Belinda: Belinda is fervently pro-foxhunting, and as it has been demonstrated that 70% of the population are against foxhunting, she must only be 30% representative. Therefore her vote is only worth 30% of a NO (0.3YES)
Arnold: Arnold is in the British military, and has just got back from 12months service in Iraq. Now according to military personnel on this website, people who serve their country are known to be superior beings, and are the only people who are deemed worthy of leading other people (a postive facotr of 8) = 8YES
Phil: Phil is a bit of a fool really. He still believes in the tooth fairy and santa claus. But not believing in God, and Phil being the big fool he is, must therefore mean God exists. NOx-2 = 2YES
Betty: Betty has a cracking pair of breasts, and she flashed them to me the other day. Positive factor of 12 = 12NO
Phubar: Phubar currently holds the record for downing six pints of Timothy Taylor Landlord (48.37 seconds if anyone cares). Obviously someone who can consume this much alcohol is in possession of a God-given gift. Yesx3 = 3YES
William: Williams dad is a vicar, and William likes to piss him off. Therefore I have decided to scrap his vote.
Fitz: Fitz is German, and therefore exceptionally efficient. However, efficiency and spirituality do not mix well together, and he is slowly having a nervous breakdown. He blames God, I blame him being German. No factor = 1YES
Gertrude: Gertrude lives on a farm and has six toes. Her Dad is also her uncle, and her mother is her niece. she believes in God becasue her sister (who is also her aunt) makes her. Again, i discount this vote.
Taking into account all these factors, the final score is:
18.3 YES and 12.25 No.
Conclusive proof that God exists.
I rest my case.
Mark
Originally posted by mmanuelI count 11 points here. I especially like the justifications for Arnold and Belinda's voting factors. 😀
I have conducted an entirely random and representative survey of my friends asking them the question "Does God exist?". Here are the results.
Rajesh YES; Dave NO; Belinda YES; Arnold YES; Phil NO; Betty NO; Phubar YES; William NO; Fitz YES; Getrude YES. That equals 6 YES and 4 NO
However, we all know that such polls cannot be taken on face value, and ...[text shortened]... ore is:
18.3 YES and 12.25 No.
Conclusive proof that God exists.
I rest my case.
Mark
Statistical counting is all very well but hardly fair considering 60% of the population pole were male, whilst in the real world the split is more likely 50/50. No the real proof that god exist is all around us.
Have you heard of the concept of "intelligent design" ? This is the theory that because everything fits together so perfectly it must have been designed. For example consider nature, the plants proved the animals with food and oxygen, and the animals eat the plants, which is then returned to the ground as manure, which in turn helps the plants to grow bigger, thus the cycle is continued. The world is littered with similiar perfect coincidences. Take the pope for example, Gods number two man on the planet (JC being number 1 of course), Getting on bit and can't walk. But a little too heavy to be pushed around in that wheel chair by his staff. A quick chat with his boss, then the next thing you know, somebody has invented the mobilised wheel chair. Thus avoiding any more liability cases from his staff for breaking the european rules of human rights. Oh yes god does looks after his own!. What about the Americans stealth bomber, where did they get that technology from ?? Little green men in hanger 51 you say? , Yes of course it is a well know fact in underground circles. But who made those little green men ?. Think about it. If god could make those freaky duck billed platipluses out of the left overs of ducks and otters, what could he have made out the left overs of frogs and apes ?
So consider the big picture, these type of events are just too bizarre to be coincidence and therefore the only other possibility must be intelligent design and the existence of god.
Originally posted by Acolyteyes I quite agree (Edit: sort of....)
Hmm... I seem to be having problems reading this thread. I'll come back in the morning.
Warning :- In editing this important message MR PT has broken his previous RHP-guiness world record for "editing a single post" which he set some time ago in the ghost forum sign in thread. Mr PT would like to point out to our younger viewers that he is a trained professional, who has been doing this for years. He has a full medical team on stand by as it is extremely dangerous and should not be tried at home.
Note:- no animals or chess games were harmed whilst this record breaking attempt was made.
In any language, ''God doesn't exist'' is more complicated than ''God exists''. By Occam's Razor, God must exist.
The above could be criticized by saying that informational complexity has nothing to do with how complicated the actual sentence containging the information is, but since we're created in God's image, our languages must fundamentally express things in the same way God's language does. Thus not only is it easier to state but fundamentally less complicated to say ''God exists'' than to say He doesn't, so the OR argument holds. If any language reverses this, it just shows how godless its speakers are.
The ''brothers'' of God are monks. God has said that he will ''strike down with Great Vangeance and Furious Anger on those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers''. Rumor has it that among high school students in my town, the local St. Anthony's Monastery grounds are *the* place to smoke cannabis. Passive smoke is poisonous and destructive. Thus these people are attempting to poison and destroy the brothers of God. However, God has not struck down in a timely manner because this delinquency has apparently gone on for many years. Thus it's quite likely that God does not exist.