Deary, deary me...
Here are some of my favourites:
"Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board."
"The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers."
- Princess Leia -
"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. "
- Walter Sobchek -
"In a sense, yes. My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina."
- Maud Lebowski -
"What now? Let me tell you what now. I'm gonna call a couple 'a hard, pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'm gonna get medieval on your ass."
- Marsellus Wallace -
"Oh man, the shit piled up so fast in Vietnam you needed wings to stay above it"
- Captain Willard -
"It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win."
- Bruce Springsteen -
"Roadkill has its seasons just like anything: There's possums in the autumn and there's farm cats in the spring."
- Tom Waits -
"Were you born worthless, or did you have to work at it?"
- Drill Sergeant Hartman -
"They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God."
- Elwood -
The problems with 'greatest quotes from movies' is that a lot of the best ones have a bit of swearing in them.
I reckon the films with the best quotes are:
The big Lebowski
Pulp Fiction
Full Metal Jacket
If you go to www.imdb.com and type in a film, you can view a list of the most memorable quotes from any film ever made. I seriously recommend it!
Originally posted by trekkieDunno if you get The Fast Show in NX-74205, but seeing as you enjoyed the first one, here's some more comparisons from Swiss Tony...
very funny
MAKING COFFEE: Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir... gently and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.
HANGING WALLPAPER: Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
PUTTING UP A TENT: Putting up a tent, is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'... slip in to the old bag.
WASHING A CAR: Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.
ANSWERING THE PHONE: Answering the phone, is... a little like making love to a beautiful woman. In that you've gotta... lift the receiver, put it to your ear, speak ...loudly and clearly ... oh, yes - and don't forget to state your name.
BEING IN THERAPY
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You ... get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.
BEING IN A CRASH: Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is ... very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
GOING FISHING: Of course, As you know, I'm a very keen fisherman myself. You know, I've
often thought that going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod over, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.
Enjoy,
D
A favourite from Why Aye:
The Yorkshire men (Monty Python):
Michael Palin:
You were lucky. We lived for three months in a brown paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six o'clock in the morning, clean the bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down the mill for fourteen hours a day week in-week out. When we got home, our Dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!
Graham Chapman: Luxury! We used to have to get out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, go to work at the mill every day for tuppence a month, come home, and Dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were LUCKY!
Terry Gilliam: Well, we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.
Eric Idle: Right. steels himself I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah."
Michael Palin: But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.
All: Nope, nope...
"What we have here is a failure to communicate". "Oh,you're a riot,Alice,a regular riot. One of these days,Alice,one of these days...Bang!Zoom! And my favorite movie speech,from John Wayne's The Alamo: Sam Houston(Richard Boone)receives the last dispatch from the Alamo. After reading it,he turns back to his officers and says:"Yesterday,I read you Col. Fannin's letter,stating that he cannot reach the Alamo in time. And today,I have this(Crumpling the letter in his fist)from the Alamo! They are surrounded,and we can't help them.(Pause)Now,tomorrow,when your recruits start to whine and bellyache,you tell them that 185 of their friends,neighbors,fellow Texicans are holed up in a crumbling adobe church down on the Rio Bravo buying them this precious time!(Pause)I hope they remember.(Pause) I hope Texas remembers."
Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats! It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread!
Peasant 2: Apples!
Peasant 3: Very small rocks!
Peasant 1: Cider!
Peasant 2: Gravy!
Peasant 3: Cherries!
Peasant 1: Mud!
Peasant 2: Churches! Churches!
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: Exactly! So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she... weighs the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore?
Peasant 2: A witch!
Crowd: A witch!
Sir Bedevere: We shall use my larger scales! Right, remove the supports!
Crowd: A witch! A witch!
Accused Witch: It's a fair cop
Originally posted by seraphimvultureThis scene in Raging Bull has got to be one of DeNiro's all-time best. It gives me a real bad feeling everytime I see it. Nice pick.
"Hey, Ray, I never went down, man! You never got me down, Ray! You hear me, you never got me down." - Raging Bull
Capt. Koons: This watch was on you daddy's wrist when he was shot down over Hanoi. He was captured and put in a Vietnamese prison camp. He knew that if the gooks ever saw the watch, they'd confiscate it--take it away. The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright. He'd be damned if any slope's gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So, he hid it, in one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years he wore this watch . . . up his ass. Then, he died of dysentery, he give me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.
Pulp Fiction
"Animal Mother": You think we waste Gooks for "freedom"? This is a slaughter. If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.
Full Metal Jacket