Originally posted by D43M0Ndefinitely go for it mate. no question at all. but you don't have to leap into the abyss all at once. movie followed by coffee is a good step i think - it's a kind-of date, the movie gives you conversation material, and you can perhaps get a better feel for whether you want to go to the next step or not.
Well, recently I met a girl, let's call her K. We met, and became friends. That's the story so far.
Somehow, there is chemistry between us. We, well...flirt, you could say. I should be asking her out. But, the thing is, I dunno if she's being serious. If I did, it oculd ruin a good friendship. It could not.
My dilemma is serious. We have been ...[text shortened]... ds for a while now, and I don't know if she might get impatient or something. Please help me!!
and if it goes wrong, blame all the other guys...
Originally posted by eyeqpcI can assure you this advice is good. I asked out a girl a while back and although she turned me down we still remain good friends. If this doesn't work for you blame everyone who has posted above me.
i am sure if you are pretty close friends then no damage will be caused.
definitely go for it mate. no question at all. but you don't have to leap into the abyss all at once. movie followed by coffee is a good step i think - it's a kind-of date, the movie gives you conversation material, and you can perhaps get a better feel for whether you want to go to the next step or not. choice of movie is important in this strategy. for example, you might suggest a 'chick flick' to show off your sensitive caring side, but if things do develop, this could set a dangerous precedent. might be better just to go for Alien v Predator right from the start. F 9/11 would show your interest in political/social issues. and then there's the whole arthouse/mainstream issue. Something like the Motorcycle Diaries could be ideal (it's about Che Guevara) - a road movie that gently suggests the theme of guys wanting to get laid, but also with a deeper political/social subtext. i venture to say that if you can work the word 'subtext' into the post-cinematic discussion, you will not do your chances any harm.
of course, if it goes wrong, blame all the other guys...
EDIT: this all depends on her not being totally antithetical or unenthusiastic about movies...
sorry some of this got posted twice - some kind of glitch...
i find the best solution in this situation is to get drunk together, at a house prty or gathering is gd - with no inhibitions if she is into u then if u sit n talk with her n maintain proximity, then shell b v likely to start getting closer as well. make slight contact - touch her arm or wotever, and gauge her reaction. ultimately trust ur instincts - worst case scenario is u muck up when drunk, in which case u get forgiven anyway 😀
marcussucrammarcussucrammarcus
Originally posted by Ouermyhteyeah, that works pretty well - as long as you don't become an obnoxious yobbo when you're drunk😛
i find the best solution in this situation is to get drunk together, at a house prty or gathering is gd - with no inhibitions if she is into u then if u sit n talk with her n maintain proximity, then shell b v likely to start getting clos ...[text shortened]... ch case u get forgiven anyway 😀
marcussucrammarcussucrammarcus
EDIT: and of course, as long as SHE doesn't become an obnoxious yobbo when she's drunk - but then, if you're drunk too, this may not matter to you...
When I met Alex one year ago, we knew that, being 3,000 miles apart, we would never start a relationship. We would just be online friends who never met. But we both reached out to each other and now we are in love totally. You never know where that one person for you will be. Too many of us don't take chances when we should. I say try it. Be happy.
🙂
Originally posted by OuermyhteUh... of course, this is not legal advice since I don't even know what jurisdiction you are in, let alone whether I'm admitted in it ...
i find the best solution in this situation is to get drunk together, at a house prty or gathering is gd - with no inhibitions if she is into u then if u sit n talk with her n maintain proximity, then shell b v likely to start getting clos ...[text shortened]... ch case u get forgiven anyway 😀
marcussucrammarcussucrammarcus
nonetheless, it IS ETHICAL advice.
And ethically, I'd say that intentionally planning to intoxicate her, along with yourself, in order to permit -- what? -- to occur, is a recipe for disaster. The worst case scenario could lead to rape charges. The second worst case scenario could lead to serious regrets. The BEST case scenario isn't meaningfully better from what could be achieved sober.
This is a bad idea.