Jokes

@fmf said
I don't know why that would be: I mean, OMD did play a nine-show tour in the US in 1984 after they released "Junk Culture".

@suzianne said
I was 8 years old, at the end of 1984.

@fmf said
Yes, but it's not as if OMD's tour was just a couple of showcase gigs: they played nine shows. Their album made the Top 100.

I took a job as the head of Old McDonald's farm.

I'm the CIEIO.

Why is Santa so jolly?





Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Ho ho ho.

What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

A "Holly" Davidson.

@ponderable said
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

A "Holly" Davidson.

She: why do men always bring condoms, but never use them?
He: why do women always wear a purse, but never pay for anything?

😲

One day a man woke up in heaven. He was crying bitterly.

Jesus came over to him and said “what is the matter?”
The man said “I used to be a carpenter back on earth. I had a special son, he was created and transformed. A book was written about him and he was famous and loved all over the world”

Jesus looked and looked again … “FATHER?!”

The man looked quizzically at Jesus … “Pinocchio?”

Me: “how many degrees should I set the wash to?”

Wife: “well what does it say on the T-shirt?”

Me: “Pink Floyd”

My mother in law asked me why the dog was staring at her.

I told her "Because your eating of his plate".

@david-burton said
My mother in law asked me why the dog was staring at her.

I told her "Because your eating of his plate".

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.

What did the one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree...
"You need to lighten up!"

I just spent all day and all night reading a book about the Romanian capital.

I really need to give that Bucharest