14 Jun 23
@the-gravedigger saidAt 18 you left your parents and your home country?
Left home when I was 18 and spent the next 24 years working abroad. Came back to the UK for 3 months a year. Worked for me but no life if you have a wife and children.
Maybe I'm lucky he doesn't want to leave the country
14 Jun 23
@yo-its-me saidThanks, I'll send you one, as I am on a limited number of games.
It's a long story!
Can I send you a game Torunn?
@yo-its-me saidIs he retarded? No? Then let the boy go. He will become a man faster.
Can I ask you, please, to anyone who left home to live alone:
What age where you when you left home?
What country was that in (a European or African country etc- so I have an idea of how safe it would have been)?
How many hours did you move away from your family (roughly)?
Was it a good move, were you okay, did it all go alright?
Keep your eye on him from a distance. Dont interfere directly.
If you brought him up well he will be fine.
If not then he needs to get away from you asap.
Either way it s a plus for him. He will manage
Ten years from now you will be proud of him.
14 Jun 23
@yo-its-me saidI lived in dorms, so there were people all around. If I hadn't gone to college, I would not have been able to afford a place on my own, so I would have split rent with someone else. There were HS buddies who could have shared rent with me and looked out for me.
Thank you, that's really helpful.
If it hadn't been college, if you'd been living alone in a studio flat but seeing some people most days in the week- would that have changed anything for you?
What I mean is, was there someone looking out for you and if not would you have been safe, looking back.
@yo-its-me saidYes, it is an invasion of privacy, if he's no longer a minor and does not consent to being tracked.
I feel your parents pain when you were 18 and they didn't know where you were. Terrifying. This is something I am scared of, loosing touch with my son. I want him to let me track him (iphone find my) but he says that's an invasion of his privacy.
@yo-its-me saidMy 17-3/4 yr. old daughter moved out last summer. There are definitely some countries I would not want her to move to: Haiti, Syria, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Iran, Eritrea, N. Korea, ... but she wouldn't think of going to those countries anyway. It's tough letting them fly the nest, but it is necessary. You don't want the alternative: they stay. And stay. And stay.
At 18 you left your parents and your home country?
Maybe I'm lucky he doesn't want to leave the country
@rajk999 saidI completely concur. The best way for grow a kid to grow up is to be allowed to make mistakes and correct them himself. One of the most important lessons I learned at age 19 was: don't take a good job in a bad town.
Is he retarded? No? Then let the boy go. He will become a man faster.
Keep your eye on him from a distance. Dont interfere directly.
If you brought him up well he will be fine.
If not then he needs to get away from you asap.
Either way it s a plus for him. He will manage
Ten years from now you will be proud of him.
14 Jun 23
@yo-its-me saidYes, but I had a job so it seemed ok at the time.
At 18 you left your parents and your home country?
Maybe I'm lucky he doesn't want to leave the country
14 Jun 23
@moonbus saidYes indeed. Parents should not protect kids to the point where they dont suffer the consequences of bad decisions. Of course there are exceptions like when the consequences are fatal or permanently damaging. Small mistakes ... let them learn how to avoid them. Even when kids leave home parents can still exercise some healthy influence over their kids from a distance.
I completely concur. The best way for grow a kid to grow up is to be allowed to make mistakes and correct them himself. One of the most important lessons I learned at age 19 was: don't take a good job in a bad town.
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15 Jun 23
The nestling must, at some point, leave the nest and I’m sure you have instilled in him some good lessons. There will be “mistakes” but as has already been said, learn from them and don’t repeat. Life’s road is never smooth, there will be bumps, but he probably has good shock absorbers.🤞
@kewpie said🙂 Not to mention money.
It's a boy child. He'll bring home his washing every time he runs out of jocks and socks. Don't worry.
My family is in a similar process with my 22-year old grandson. He has already left home, moved back, left home again and we are helping him to rent a room until he finds a job and a place of his own. What is left now is for him to accept all costs involved in living on his own, and we are not quite there yet. 🙂