Limericks

There was a young man from Glenglozle
Who found a remarkable fossil
He deduced from the bend
And the wart on the end
'Twas the peter of Paul the Apostle

A woman I know is a flirt
Climbing high mountaintops in a skirt
She says it's quite nice
To climb over ice
And keeps those below more alert.

There once was a man named Kent
Whose dick was so long it was bent .
To avoid having trouble
he'd put it in double
And instead of comming he went .

There once was a thread that was funny
It was started by Alex's honey
She posted a rhyme
We responded in time
Then dreamed her dressed up as a bunny.

There once was a mod named Phlabibit
Who read a foul thread and yelled, "Idiots"!
If you think this will last,
You're half off your ass.
I'll be happy to tell you I hid it.

P

There once was a girl named Lewinski
Who played on a flute like Stravinski
Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On a flute made of beef
That stole the headlines from Kazinski

There once was a mod named Phlabibit
Who had the most terrible habit
Of censuring threads
like Stalinist reds
Until we all said that we'd had it !

Originally posted by BLReid
There once was a thread that was funny
It was started by Alex's honey
She posted a rhyme
We responded in time
Then dreamed her dressed up as a bunny.

Originally posted by elvendreamgirl
YaY :-)

On the bossom of young Abergail,
Was written the price of her tale,
And upon her behind,
For the use of the blind,
Was the same information in Braille.

My favourite however:

There once was a girl from Cape Cod,
Who thought she'd been buggered by God,
But it wasn't Jehovah,
That turned the girl over,
'twas the Vicar the dirty old sod.

You have to know this oldy :

There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
She was mangled to s**t
And missing one t*T
But look at the money he saved !

There once was a woman named Sutton,
Who played night and day with her button.
When asked why she did,
She mentioned her id,
And confessed to just being a glutton.

There was a young lady from eeling
who had a particular feeling
she lay on her back
opened her crack
and peed all over the ceiling

A defective poet said "Damn!
"My limericks never do scan!
Why is it so?
Well, I think I know
It's cause I am always trying to get just as many words into the last sentence as I possibly can..."