28 Jun 05
Last night I caught my neighbor, a complete bastard who continues to shovel his dogs sh@t into my yard on a regular basis, letting the air out of my truck tires. While out on his evening stroll with his smelly flea infested rat faced dog he stopped by my truck and went from tire to tire letting the air out. I didn't nut out on him last night as I didn't want to have to dispose of a body at 10pm, but, I checked the tires this morning and all of them were down under 20 psi. This could have caused a serious problem and has clearly violated the uneasy cold war truce we had going.
The only action I've taken so far is to go home at lunch and write the words "DOUCHE BAG" with maximum strength TripleStrike Grass & Weed killer in 5 ft high letters in his yard.
I'm all for good natured and friendly joking around, but, I foresee continued escalation... Any suggestions?
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by Hand of HecateFish guts in his hubcaps . Tis the season (it's the best in the summer).
Last night I caught my neighbor, a complete bastard who continues to shovel his dogs sh@t into my yard on a regular basis, letting the air out of my truck tires. While out on his evening stroll with his smelly flea infested rat faced dog he stopped by my truck and went from tire to tire letting the air out. I didn't nut out on him last night as I d ...[text shortened]... good natured and friendly joking around, but, I foresee continued escalation... Any suggestions?
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by Hand of Hecatemediation, confession, apology, forgiveness, conciliation
Last night I caught my neighbor, a complete bastard who continues to shovel his dogs sh@t into my yard on a regular basis, letting the air out of my truck tires. While out on his evening stroll with his smelly flea infested rat faced dog he stopped by my truck and went from tire to tire letting the air out. I didn't nut out on him last night as I d ...[text shortened]... good natured and friendly joking around, but, I foresee continued escalation... Any suggestions?
(and a big group hug at the end)
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by Hand of HecateYou could always introduce some cockroaches to his house. Now I've heard that they can be very hard to get rid off. Banana up the exhaust routine. Break fluid on his car's paint work. Get ten tons of comcrete mix delivered to his house when he's not in to dispute it. Piss through his letter box and ask how far it went? Sorry, I'm not very good at things like this.
Last night I caught my neighbor, a complete bastard who continues to shovel his dogs sh@t into my yard on a regular basis, letting the air out of my truck tires. While out on his evening stroll with his smelly flea infested rat faced dog he stopped by my truck and went from tire to tire letting the air out. I didn't nut out on him last night as I d ...[text shortened]... good natured and friendly joking around, but, I foresee continued escalation... Any suggestions?
28 Jun 05
As I recall, Moldy Crow suggested you construct a trebouchet and hurl flaming garbage onto his roof. That sounds like a necessary step in these confrontations.
If you were to ever find yourself in his house (for whatever reason, legal or illegal), take a mighty dump into the tank of his toilet.
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by Hand of HecateTake the war to his own turf. It's time for you to declare an all out war; bring out the heavy artillery and all the mortars you can get your hands on.
Last night I caught my neighbor, a complete bastard who continues to shovel his dogs sh@t into my yard on a regular basis, letting the air out of my truck tires. While out on his evening stroll with his smelly flea infested rat faced dog he stopped by my truck and went from tire to tire letting the air out. I didn't nut out on him last night as I d ...[text shortened]... good natured and friendly joking around, but, I foresee continued escalation... Any suggestions?
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by jimslyp69Hand fulls of chocolate ex-lax tossed into the area where the dog roams .
You could always introduce some cockroaches to his house. Now I've heard that they can be very hard to get rid off. Banana up the exhaust routine. Break fluid on his car's paint work. Get ten tons of comcrete mix delivered to his house when he's not in to dispute it. Piss through his letter box and ask how far it went? Sorry, I'm not very good at things like this.
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by darvlayThe trebouchet is still a viable alternative, but, I'm trying to turn over a kinder & gentler leaf. I'd like to put an end to hostilities... maybe a BarBQ and a couple of beers will serve as a peace offering. Failing that, a crap in his toilet tank could be satisfying.
As I recall, Moldy Crow suggested you construct a trebouchet and hurl flaming garbage onto his roof. That sounds like a necessary step in these confrontations.
If you were to ever find yourself in his house (for whatever reason, legal or illegal), take a mighty dump into the tank of his toilet.
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by Hand of HecateYou might actually end up making a new friend. Of course, it will be much less interesting for the violently-tended folks here....😉
The trebouchet is still a viable alternative, but, I'm trying to turn over a kinder & gentler leaf. I'd like to put an end to hostilities... maybe a BarBQ and a couple of beers will serve as a peace offering.
28 Jun 05
1 edit
Originally posted by Hand of HecateNOW who's getting soft?
The trebouchet is still a viable alternative, but, I'm trying to turn over a kinder & gentler leaf. I'd like to put an end to hostilities... maybe a BarBQ and a couple of beers will serve as a peace offering. Failing that, a crap in his toilet tank could be satisfying.
28 Jun 05
Originally posted by darvlayI had a twinge of conscience as a put the finishing touches on the "DOUCHE BAG" message I sprayed on his front lawn. Perhaps I am going soft, but at least I didn't savagely beat him last night. I almost yelled out the front door, "I'll get you and your little dog too!"
NOW who's getting soft?
