Hear's one. This guy figured out he was going to get fired. Everyone would be at work half hour early and getting ready and he was always late. He strolled in, and 'took a dive' on the stairs... and laid there a good 15 minutes. No one came.
He got up, used the phone in a nearby office... and reported, 'Someone has fallen on the stairs'! He hung up and ran back to where he was laying.
He later had to admit this all, as everyone was on the floor with the manager... the guy worked the night shift with just a few other workers and there was no one alse that could have made this call from inside the plant.
Nice.
ES
These are great! I was laughing so much as I read them.
here's another: A man was attempted to shoot a litter of puppies with a handgun. He had shot a couple, and was attempting to shoot one, but it kept avoiding him. He picked it up and was about to shoot it, when the puppy pulled the trigger! The man was shot, and arrested for animal cruelty! What an idiot!
Originally posted by elvendreamgirlWhat about the poor two puppies though.
These are great! I was laughing so much as I read them.
here's another: A man was attempted to shoot a litter of puppies with a handgun. He had shot a couple, and was attempting to shoot one, but it kept avoiding him. He picked it up and was about to shoot it, when the puppy pulled the trigger! The man was shot, and arrested for animal cruelty! What an idiot!
Originally posted by purclecowbut why would you write a return address on a LETTER BOMB??????
yep...search for the Darwin Awards on the net....they are very famous ...you get this award if your this kinda person. So famous are these awards that there is a book written on everyone that has got one. For Example:
A terrorist that mailed a letter bomb......however forgot to put the correct postage on it so it was returned to sender and the cleaver guy openned it thus wiping himself from the evolution chain
how stupid can you get?
Originally posted by purclecow
yep...search for the Darwin Awards on the net....they are very famous ...you get this award if your this kinda person. So famous are these awards that there is a book written on everyone that has got one. For Example:
A terrorist that mailed a letter bomb......however forgot to put the correct postage on it so it was returned to sender and the cleaver guy openned it thus wiping himself from the evolution chain
eeeeeeeeeeeek
i am very alarmed by your forum profile thingy
'MMMMM Penguin Pie'?
😲😲😲😲😲😲
ever read the "book of heroic failures"? similar, but without the dead people...
and it took me a while to fine this-a-one, so y'all better be amused, mmmkay?
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS, President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:
On March 23,1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to that effect, indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window which killed him instantly.
Neither the shooter nor the descender was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
"Ordinarily," Dr. Mills continued, "a person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide."
That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands. The room on the ninth floor, whence the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window, striking Mr. Opus.
When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said they thought the shotgun was unloaded. Thed old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
Originally posted by genius
ever read the "book of heroic failures"? similar, but without the dead people...
and it took me a while to fine this-a-one, so y'all better be amused, mmmkay?
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS, President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:
O ...[text shortened]... ow. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
Even though it is a really cool story. It doesn't appear to be true:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/opus.htm
Originally posted by geniuslol i've read it...several times!! very very funny....i lost my copy though...can you post the one about the least successful musical performance!! HAHAHA
ever read the "book of heroic failures"? similar, but without the dead people...
and it took me a while to fine this-a-one, so y'all better be amused, mmmkay?
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS, President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story:
O ...[text shortened]... ow. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
fred