Your Special Secrets for a Happy Marriage
Couple Married For 81 Years Shares Their Story by Dominic Kelly, Mon, February 09, 2015
A Kansas couple is being recognized after winning a national contest for staying married 81 years.
Alice and Dale Rockey got married as teenagers back in 1933, and their love story, which began when they were children growing up together in Nebraska, is as amazing as expected.
“She was sitting on her front porch and I drove by and I said, ‘Oh, let’s stop and talk,’ and so I did and we went for a ride,” Dale Rockey explained to The Kansas City Star. “We started in a ’36 Ford. That’s the first car we had. Wound up with a 2000 model and there was a lot of them in between.”
During their 81 years together, the couple has seen 13 presidents, a number of wars, and some of the world’s greatest moments. Now, both Alice and Dale are 99 years old, and while their marriage is extraordinary, many people are curious if they have a special secret for staying together that long.
“I always let him have my way!” Alice said.
The couple was recently recognized for being the longest married couple in the country, and the contest, which their son nominated them for, was put together by the Worldwide Marriage Encounter.
“They’re a beautiful couple,” Tom Rockey, Alice and Dale’s son, said. “You don’t see them together without holding hands.”
The couple reportedly has five sons, 15 grandkids, 28 great-grandkids, and six great-great-grandkids.
Sources: Fox4KC News, The Kansas City Star / Photo Source: The Kansas City Star
http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/kansas-couple-receives-award-being-married-81-years
Yours?
My wife and I have been married 37 years, so I'll chip in here. My experience only lets me speak in the context of a traditional 1 man/1 woman union.
Start with the foundation of each individual in the marriage. Marriage will not solve problems within yourself. Each person must be happy with themselves, not perfect mind you, but have a basic contentment and satisfaction with who they are. All partners should help each other, but it would be such a drain for one partner to have to constantly prop the other one up.
Build a layer of 'the two of us'. My wife and I were married for 8 years before we had children and during those years we lived thousands of miles away from our home towns and family. We wanted to and had to hold to each other. In our marriage, 'us' is the basic unit. We love our children and families, but nothing else comes before 'us'.
Some words of advice on the hard practicalities of life:
1. Talk about money openly and often. From balancing the checkbook to saving for retirement, each partner should know all the details.
2. Keep the parents/in-laws at arms lenght when they try to butt in. Of course maintain friendly relations, but this is your life and not theirs.
3. Have activities you enjoy together and activities you enjoy separately.
4. Be kind and forgiving. That's hard to do in the heat of the moment, but always strive to forgive.
Originally posted by MontyMooseI have never been married but your advice sounds to me like the foundation of a very good marriage.
My wife and I have been married 37 years, so I'll chip in here. My experience only lets me speak in the context of a traditional 1 man/1 woman union.
Start with the foundation of each individual in the marriage. Marriage will not solve problems within yourself. Each person must be happy with themselves, not perfect mind you, but have a basic contentmen ...[text shortened]... e kind and forgiving. That's hard to do in the heat of the moment, but always strive to forgive.
I would also add: trust.
Originally posted by lolofBack in the days when most wives did not hold a paying job, Mom told me (without naming names) that she knew women who had a bank account that they kept secret from their husbands. The wife would spend part of the grocery money at the store, but would deposit a little in her secret account. The monthly banking statements would be mailed to a relative the wife trusted not to reveal her secret to the husband. Mom said the reason was that if the marriage failed, the woman would have a source of guaranteed income to live off of for some time.
'Trust' - never lie, never deceive
That struck me as awfully deceitful. And no, I don't think my own mother was doing that. I would be shocked if she did.
Originally posted by Paul Dirac III don't see that as deceitful under the circumstances. They lived on very unequal terms.
Back in the days when most wives did not hold a paying job, Mom told me (without naming names) that she knew women who had a bank account that they kept secret from their husbands. The wife would spend part of the grocery money at the store, but would deposit a little in her secret account. The monthly banking statements would be mailed to a relative t ...[text shortened]... ly deceitful. And no, I don't think my own mother was doing that. I would be shocked if she did.
Originally posted by Grampy BobbyDivorce 😕
[b]Your Special Secrets for a Happy Marriage
Couple Married For 81 Years Shares Their Story by Dominic Kelly, Mon, February 09, 2015
A Kansas couple is being recognized after winning a national contest for staying married 81 years.
Alice and Dale Rockey got married as teenagers back in 1933, and their love story, which began when the ...[text shortened]... .opposingviews.com/i/society/kansas-couple-receives-award-being-married-81-years
Yours?[/b]