This reminds me of a few years back in London after an all night party.
I was wandering the streets after being awake all night feeling quite strange. It was about 6:30 am, so I bought a newspaper and a can of drink and some chocolate and wandered off to the park.
After reading for a bit, I began to get cold, so started walking back to the house. On the way back I passed a church with Gospel singing booming out. Needing the warmth, I headed inside a nearly full modern church and sat near the back.
As the preacher began to spout his lies, I opened the broadsheet noisily and read with it held up in front of my face to block out my surroundings. Suddenly, I became aware that everyone else was standing up and acknowledging each other by shaking hands, saying hello, etc. I sat there and nodded politely to the old bloke next to me out of a sense of civility and continued to read the paper. The preacher was telling everyone to welcome all into the flock, and mentioned that he sensed that there were some new, stray people present who had lost their way and needed guidance. I thought this was a pretty oblique reference to myself, but continued to read, unabashed.
Eventually, they all sat down and started to listen to more pulpit pish.
Soon however, the lack of sleep, early morning exercise, fizzy drink and chocolate for breakfast took its toll: My bowels were moving - fast.
Seizing the initiative from my movement, I spotted a toilet sign on the left hand side of the chapel (more like a community centre really). It was level with the stage/pulpit and I could clearly hear the preacher's porky pies, hence they could all hear me.
Thus I began to expel one of the longest, noisiest, smelliest poos of my life; Inflicting the full audio, orefractory experience on the entire congregation.
Things could not be any more peculiar, when suddenly - my phone started to ring. At least the strains of "The Good, the bad and the ugly" may have covered the strains of my bowels for a brief moment to the relief of the audience!
It was my girlfriend (who did not go to the party) wondering how it went.
So I am sat on the bog having a poo in a church where you can hear a pin drop over the measured tones of the preacher, loudly explaining to my girlfriend whilst laughing, that "I am sat on the bog having a poo in a church where you can hear a pin drop over the measured tones of the preacher"!!!
It really was the most deliciously surreal moment of my life and made me realise how completely irreverant I was to religion and its untruths.
Mythical Jesus on my left says, "Chill. Stop being mean to one another and have much premarital sex. I did."
MJ also says that pissing on church doors is not cool cuz you might get caught and then a whole lot of nice, albeit naive, folk would be very hurt by your action. On the other hand, if you don't get caught, then you don't hurt anybody and then it's cool with him.
I remember this one time where I went to a church of jesus christ of latter day saints. I am going to be a bit politically uncorrect here and bare the truth that I have a particular distaste for the mormons. I really don't like their brand of theology. Quite frankly, I associate a myriad of negative emotions with them.
That said, I went to a church of theirs one time. Somehow, I was able to refrain from urinating or defacating upon anything there. I was able to refrain from any outward signs of disrespect for that matter. Oh, sure I was seething inside. Yet, somehow I was able to refrain from such activity. Imagine that.
Originally posted by shavixmirI find it a bit odd the way some people just want to insult people
Oh well...
of faith, and what others believe to be holy and precious. They
even go out of their way to do it. Just as you insult something I
think is holy and full of grace, you brag about how you soiled
it. I suppose I should not be to surprised at the outlandish
behavior of your actions, or that you find it necessary to show
how vulgar you really are. You must have a very high opinion
of yourself. You do know that scriture teaches that God isn’t
mocked, God does repay unless you turn towards Christ for
Jesus’ grace and mercy.
Kelly
Originally posted by KellyJayThis is exactly, the type of smug, self satisfied clap trap which makes people want to wee on church doors!
I find it a bit odd the way some people just want to insult people
of faith, and what others believe to be holy and precious. They
even go out of their way to do it. Just as you insult something I
think is holy and full of grace, you brag about how you soiled
it. I suppose I should not be to surprised at the outlandish
behavior of your actions, or that ...[text shortened]... isn’t
mocked, God does repay unless you turn towards Christ for
Jesus’ grace and mercy.
Kelly
Originally posted by howardgeeMany years ago in my chaplain's training I remember a student that was pretty offended that one of the patients in this mental hospital had decided to put her bra in the offering plate. His supervisor responded, "but isn't wonderful that she gave her all to the Lord?"
This is exactly, the type of smug, self satisfied clap trap which makes people want to wee on church doors!
So I guess people can be angry and upset with you or say how wonderful that it was you could give your all in church. At the very least they should have invited you back as you had such a wonderful "release." The spirit sometimes works that way.
Originally posted by howardgeeWhat part, that I'm offended, or that I warned that even though
This is exactly, the type of smug, self satisfied clap trap which makes people want to wee on church doors!
God desires mercy will not put up with man's sins forever, but
will deal with us at some point for what we have done or said?
Kelly
Originally posted by howardgeeWhat a loser.
This reminds me of a few years back in London after an all night party.
I was wandering the streets after being awake all night feeling quite strange. It was about 6:30 am, so I bought a newspaper and a can of drink and some chocolate and wandered off to the park.
After reading for a bit, I began to get cold, so started walking back to the house. O ...[text shortened]... ent of my life and made me realise how completely irreverant I was to religion and its untruths.
Originally posted by kirksey957Is shav a patient in a mental hospital?
Many years ago in my chaplain's training I remember a student that was pretty offended that one of the patients in this mental hospital had decided to put her bra in the offering plate. His supervisor responded, "but isn't wonderful that she gave her all to the Lord?"