My Confession

this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really care what the first time is like but she didn't believe me and insisted, no begged me to show her what to do. at first i wanted to resist but the more she persisted the more attractive she became to me in those sexy brown rags. i gave in, i did it, i showed her what a guy wants. i showed her twice, 3 times and then a forth. the girl was a natural.

when i returned this morning i was shocked to see the world as it is now, the land i left was peaceful. al core was the president of the usa and there hadn't been a war in years...no man woman or child was going hungry on the streets anywhere in the world....there was no rich and no poor, no classes, no hatred...we lived in peace and with respect to our fellow men and woman.

but this world i come back to, this land of evil, of fakeness, of manipulation of the weak, of fear of foreign land, of foreign people created by the media created by our governments. we didn't have religion in my world, we didn't have global warming or the current crises in the middle east, afghanistan and the millions starving in africa. my land was free this world, the world that was created the day i went back all those years ago, this land the only land you know to be true, this is the land thats built on lies, on fear, on political imcompetance and on the stupidity of the masses. this land, your land was all created by one woman, one small woman 2009 years ago who cheated on her husband and lied. lied about being a virgin, lied about the miracle son of god being born, she's a whore a liar and has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.

Originally posted by trev33
this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really ...[text shortened]... has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.

Originally posted by trev33
this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really ...[text shortened]... has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.

Originally posted by bill718
You've skipped over a few things here. People 2009 years ago had basically the same problems they do today. Political and economic repression, religious heresy, domestic violence, and dishonest business practices were common. The scene 2009 years ago was not the picture of paradise you are painting! As far as Mary was concerned, she was a woman like any othe ...[text shortened]... lly imporntant. Your story has so many holes in it that it would not even make a decent rag! 😏

Originally posted by trev33
this might not be the best place to confess but i have to tell someone.

yesterday i created a time machine and went back 2009 years, while i was away i met this woman called marry who was worried but not being able to satisfy her new husband joseph in the sack. i told her not to worry about anything and that most guys just want to get laid and don't really ...[text shortened]... has cost all of you the freedom and the enjoyment of the land i once knew not so long ago.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
You're lucky to have that time machine: if Joseph were around to hear your insults, he'd slap your little smart mouth into the Stone Age.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
You're lucky to have that time machine: if Joseph were around to hear your insults, he'd slap your little smart mouth into the Stone Age.

Originally posted by trev33
that's not very christian like and on this the sabbath day...for shame...you sir are going to rot in hell for all eternity.

for shame.

say hello to marry for me.

Originally posted by FreakyKBH
You're lucky to have that time machine: if Joseph were around to hear your insults, he'd slap your little smart mouth into the Stone Age.

Originally posted by divegeester
Although I think yesterday was actually the sabbath

Originally posted by trev33
i thought the jewish sabbath was on a saturday but the christian sabbath was on a sunday....i could be wrong though.

Originally posted by rwingett
I'm not quite sure why. Joseph seemed to be alright with the idea of third parties impregnating his wife. Maybe if Joseph took that time machine to the future, he could cash in big by doing Viagra commercials. I can see it now:

Joseph: Hi, I'm Joseph, a real nobody from the first century. But if I had some Viagra back then, I wouldn't have had to rely on ...[text shortened]... frogs, gnats and flies, disease, boils, hail mixed with fire, locusts, darkness and death.

Originally posted by ale1552
These blasphemous remarks need to be censored.

Originally posted by ale1552
These blasphemous remarks need to be censored.

31 But Joash said to all who stood against him, “Would you plead for Baal? Would you save him? Let the one who would plead for him be put to death by morning! If he is a god, let him plead for himself, because his altar has been torn down!”

Originally posted by rwingett
You should put a smiley face at the end of your post to let people know you're joking. They might think you're serious otherwise.