Preacher's wife so nasty

Preacher's wife so nasty that she was disappointed in Jesus' Sermon on the Mount because she thought it was about the "reverse cowboy position."

Preacher's wife so nasty that when she died she skipped the stage of decomposition called "putrification" because she had already done it in life.

Preacher's wife so nasty, her moles are mistaken for the mark of the beast.

Preacher's wife so nasty, when she was saved, Jesus washed her white as snow, but even he couldn't get those stains out of her underwear.

Preacher's wife so nasty, Preacher puts "Give her this year her yearly shower" in the Lord's Prayer.

Preacher's wife so nasty, her two front teeth have the ten commandments etched on them.

Preacher's wife so nasty, the lice in her hair number greater than 70 times 7.

Preacher's wife so nasty, when she raises her hands to God, the whole congregation is slain in the spirit.

Preacher's wife so nasty she broke the seventh seal just by looking at it.

Preacher's wife so nasty that Jesus specifically asked for a colt that had never been ridden, not to fulfill scripture, but for fear she had set her ass on it.

Preacher's wife so nasty that Visteds referred to her as the "midrash."

Preacher's wife so nasty, she has to sleep in the stable even when there's plenty of room at the inn.

Preacher's wife so nasty, if she was the Good Samaritan you'd have played dead.

Preacher's wife so nasty she let the animals in two by two.