Promiscuity

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
I think twhitehead summed it up pretty well; "The immorality is not the sex but breaking any commitments we might have made to someone else and the fact that breaking said commitments can bring a lot of pain to them."

Promiscuity before entering a committed relationship could be argued as being healthy and natural (as long as done safely and legal ...[text shortened]... this would not be so if i hadn't got things 'out of my system when young and grown as a person.

So you believe it is necessary or expedient for young people to be promiscuous in order to get something "out of their system" in order to remain faithful. Do you council your children to be promiscuous in order to achieve this in their lives?

Originally posted by divegeester
So you believe it is necessary or expedient for young people to be promiscuous in order to get something "out of their system" in order to remain faithful. Do you council your children to be promiscuous in order to achieve this in their lives?

I think people who purposefully learn about themselves, and do so thoroughly - in matters other than sex too, of course - before they enter into a lifelong commitment, are acting wisely.

Originally posted by FMF
I think people who purposefully learn about themselves, and do so thoroughly - in matters other than sex too, of course - before they enter into a lifelong commitment, are acting wisely.

I agree wholeheartedly. My question to wolfgang59's OP which pertains to "promiscuity" rather than "purposefully learning" remains unanswered though.

To the fathers and mothers here: do you subscribe to the premise of encouraging your daughters (or sons, but daughters particularly), to be promiscuous as a sound life philosophy/way to live?

Originally posted by divegeester
To the fathers and mothers here: do you subscribe to the premise of encouraging your daughters (or sons, but daughters particularly), to be promiscuous as a sound life philosophy/way to live?

I struggle a bit with the precise wording of the interesting debating gauntlet that wolfgang59 has thrown down on this thread. I find myself balking at the "unrestrained" element implicit (for me) in the term "promiscuous". I can't help feeling that if the activity is "unrestrained", then the stuff I laid out in my first post on page 1 is possibly going to find itself assailed by lapses in wisdom and sincerity. It's not necessarily going to be the case, but such lapses might result in morally unsound behaviour. I trust that a sense of my perspective - as a parent in particular - can be gleaned from this answer. 😛

Originally posted by divegeester
Fornication is sin.
I don't have a biblical reference for morality vs sin.

What I am asking is whether or not when you say 'morality' do you mean 'sin'. ie are they interchangeable?

Do you agree with the OP and think promiscuity is a sound philosophy/way to live?
It depends very much on the circumstances. I have never been promiscuous myself, but then I live in a place where HIV infection rates are around 30%. So here, it is almost certainly going to lead to your death.
But I do not see it as sinful or immoral as far as the sex goes. It is the commitments that matter. If you can find partners who are not after commitment, then the choice is yours. If you are tricking them into sex with the promise of commitment then ditching them, that seems a bit less morally sound. If you marry them and then break your vows, that I see as quite seriously morally wrong.

Originally posted by divegeester
To the fathers and mothers here: do you subscribe to the premise of encouraging your daughters (or sons, but daughters particularly), to be promiscuous as a sound life philosophy/way to live?

I believe in restricting my son until he becomes of age and has enough wisdom to make his own decisions. I believe he knows about AIDS and pregnancy (they have sex education in school) and can make his own decisions on the matter. Given the risks, I would not encourage him to be promiscuous, but then I wouldn't encourage him to totally abstain either. I also hope he never does drugs, smokes or takes to drinking alcohol.

Originally posted by twhitehead
I also hope [my son] never does drugs...

Not even the occasional puff on some herb before watching a film or listening to music?

Originally posted by FMF
I struggle a bit with the precise wording of the interesting debating gauntlet that wolfgang59 has thrown down on this thread. I find myself balking at the "unrestrained" element implicit (for me) in the term "promiscuous". I can't help feeling that if the activity is "unrestrained", then the stuff I laid out in my first post on page 1 is possibly going to find ...[text shortened]... that a sense of my perspective - as a parent in particular - can be gleaned from this answer. 😛

You say you were for many years, 20+ if memory serves, a professed Christian, and I also understand you to be married with children and somewhere in middle-age (excuse me if I'm incorrect). So, if you became a Christian say, in your teens, and we're one for 20+ years (I'm drawing some broad brush strokes here...), then were you a Christian when you got married, and if so when did you manage to purposefully explore (shall we say) the expungement of your "system", in terms of getting ones end away in a manner conducive of laying to rest any tendencies to "play way from home"? Or did you just lay aside your Christian beliefs and indulge anyway?

Excuse all the euphemisms 😛

Originally posted by FMF
Not even the occasional puff on some herb before watching a film or listening to music?

No, not even that.

Originally posted by divegeester
You say you were for many years, 20+ if memory serves, a professed Christian, and I also understand you to be married with children and somewhere in middle-age (excuse me if I'm incorrect). So, if you became a Christian say, in your teens, and we're one for 20+ years (I'm drawing some broad brush strokes here...), then were you a Christian when you got m ...[text shortened]... id you just lay aside your Christian beliefs and indulge anyway?

Excuse all the euphemisms 😛

I was a Christian when I got married. I made my vows before the Christian God that I believed in at that time. But I also made those vows in front of others too. I made them in front of the community. I made them in front of my wife's family. And most important of all, I made those vows to my wife. And those vows have seen me through 23 years of marriage, so far, regardless of my loss of faith.

I "purposefully explored" [shall we say] "who I am" [so to speak] from the age of 18 to the age of 28 by which time I had more or less "learned enough" [to coin a phrase] about myself [and, I suppose, my "end"] to be getting on with. My sex life during the pre-marriage years was "morally sound" [difficult to verify, of course] and was consistent with my Christian beliefs [I did, after all, believe in "sin" in those days!] 😛

Originally posted by divegeester
So you believe it is necessary or expedient for young people to be promiscuous in order to get something "out of their system" in order to remain faithful. Do you council your children to be promiscuous in order to achieve this in their lives?

"So you believe it is necessary or expedient..."

No, I said 'it could be argued..'

And no kids.

Originally posted by twhitehead
What I am asking is whether or not when you say 'morality' do you mean 'sin'. ie are they interchangeable?

[b]Do you agree with the OP and think promiscuity is a sound philosophy/way to live?
It depends very much on the circumstances. I have never been promiscuous myself, but then I live in a place where HIV infection rates are around 30%. So here ...[text shortened]... sound. If you marry them and then break your vows, that I see as quite seriously morally wrong.[/b]

For me they overlap but are not completely interchangeable. For example the Bible says that if a person knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him/her it is sin. This may of course have nothing to do with morality.

Originally posted by divegeester
Do you encourage you daughters to indulge in this perfectly sound philosophy? From what age did you feel it appropriate for them to be promiscuous?

My daughter is 2 years old but when she is 18 she can make her own decisions.
It may be appropriate for her, it may not.

Originally posted by Ghost of a Duke
If done safely, responsibly and legally, then go for it. (Personally speaking, marriage or a committed relationship is a game changer to promiscuity).

I agree - I have been with my wife for 10 years so promiscuity is not something I want.
But for a spell in my early forties I was - by most people's standards - promiscuous.

Originally posted by divegeester
To be clear, I see absolutely no 'moral' difference between males and females when it comes to promiscuity.

Neither do I.
Of course I would be protective of any child and not want to see them "burnt" in a relationship.