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Broken Hearts

Broken Hearts

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c

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@suzianne said
Has anyone here had their heart broken recently? What did you do about it? How did you recover?

Yes, I know... time heals all wounds. But I'm looking for some big secret to help the process along a little bit. Any success stories out there? Any keys to a quick recovery?
Rejection can destroy a person's self worth and that's why time is essential in the healing process.

But.....the sooner we can realize that only ONE person rejected us, and that we have much value and much to offer another potential lover, the better off we'll be.

We cannot let ONE person determine our value!!!

Suzianne.....make a list of ALL your good and great qualities, and realize what you can offer to the next mate, it will help.

I had my heart broken badly, but instead of being proactive in my own healing, I turned to alcohol for "comfort", which only made things worse.

Do whatever it takes to restore self worth, which will tell your mind that you are worthy to receive love.....because you are.

Ashiitaka

RSA

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@suzianne said
Has anyone here had their heart broken recently? What did you do about it? How did you recover?

Yes, I know... time heals all wounds. But I'm looking for some big secret to help the process along a little bit. Any success stories out there? Any keys to a quick recovery?
Look for the lesson. Our relationships with others and what we learn from them are the only meaning to life.

Life is a series of tests and obstacles that we must overcome, and matters of love and sex are among the hardest to surmount. It may seem random, but it is not; things fall neatly into place when they are supposed to, when the necessary growth has taken place. And everything happens for a reason, including things not happening.

We all crave love and physical touch and someone beautiful inside and out to have and hold. But the funny thing about it is that the more desperately you want something (and this goes for almost anything in this world) or have a feeling of "lack" around it, the less likely you are to get it.

You have to put out an energy of confidence within yourself and of fulfilment in individualism, no matter how hard or insincere it may seem at first. Only when you are at peace within yourself will the right person come along and stay in your life.

divegeester
watching in dismay

STARMERGEDDON

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@suzianne said
Has anyone here had their heart broken recently? What did you do about it? How did you recover?

Yes, I know... time heals all wounds. But I'm looking for some big secret to help the process along a little bit. Any success stories out there? Any keys to a quick recovery?
I’m sorry to read of your pre Christmas emotional trauma, no one needs this type of grief at anytime, but least of all in the festive season.

I cannot give any meaningful advice as I don’t know you or the situation, and nor do I regard myself as being someone from whom you would take advice on a personal issue such as this.

So I’ll just leave you with this song, in the faint hope that you might quite like the artist, not read too much into the lyrics and yet enjoy the key message.

moonbus
Über-Nerd (emeritus)

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@suzianne said
Has anyone here had their heart broken recently? What did you do about it? How did you recover?

Yes, I know... time heals all wounds. But I'm looking for some big secret to help the process along a little bit. Any success stories out there? Any keys to a quick recovery?
Don’t blame anyone.

hakima
Illumination

The Razor's Edge

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@suzianne said
Has anyone here had their heart broken recently? What did you do about it? How did you recover?

Yes, I know... time heals all wounds. But I'm looking for some big secret to help the process along a little bit. Any success stories out there? Any keys to a quick recovery?
I’m sorry this has happened to you Suzianne...it seems like when these things happen, that they are at the worst possible time and seem to last forever.

I’ve been both the heartbroken and the heartbreaker, and a couple of times both at the same time...and I would say I’m no expert here.

Each heartbreak takes on its own uniqueness...as essentially unique as the humans involved...and I think heartbreak is meant to be...as human and as flawed as we are we want to believe that love is all we need, that it lasts forever and are sorely disappointed when the reality of the break crushes our dreams...and not to encapsulate your particular experience into a movie script, but I think of these lines from Moonstruck where Ronny explains it so well to Loretta:

“ We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the wrong people and *die*. Ronny Cammareri: Loretta, I love you. Not like they told you love is, and I didn't know this either, but love don't make things nice - it ruins everything. It breaks your heart.”

From my own experience, I would offer this; take time for you. Be gentle with yourself and those around you...mostly you though. Take time to reflect but also, go out and do something gruelingly physical even if you fall on your face (like my own most recent stunt), and spare little expense on yourself...you are worth it.

Most of all, make “friends” with heartache. It’s the twin flame of companionship and intimacy. Even those who have 50+ years of idyllic relationships must endure heartache and heartbreak when their spouse passes away...

Take care, friend. Everything others have said here is true...and in the meantime, there’s nothing quite like a bottle of good wine, a bubble bath, and a hopelessly romantic movie (one that turns on the waterworks full on) to work through the pain.

Be well x

Pamela

A Unique Nickname

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A few years ago I decided that I was too nuts to have a long relationship and gave up on the idea, then last year met someone equally if not more nuts and that didn't work either (partly due to covid) so now I'm back in the too nuts to date boat and I'm fine with that.

Have a think why it didn't work, if it was purely them it just takes time, if it was you then think about what to change if you want in the future. Simple fact is if it's going to work out it will because both will really want it, if one doesn't want it then it's not worth fighting for.

Torunn

Gothenburg

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@trev33 said
A few years ago I decided that I was too nuts to have a long relationship and gave up on the idea, then last year met someone equally if not more nuts and that didn't work either (partly due to covid) so now I'm back in the too nuts to date boat and I'm fine with that.

Have a think why it didn't work, if it was purely them it just takes time, if it was you then think about ...[text shortened]... t it will because both will really want it, if one doesn't want it then it's not worth fighting for.
They weren't right for each other perhaps.

Ghost of a Duke

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@torunn said
They weren't right for each other perhaps.
Truth be told, chess players and RHP members are frequently complicated individuals of depth and je ne sais quoi.

It takes a special human being to recognize and embrace these qualities in us. Not all of them are up to it.

Cheesemaster
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100% right

rookie54
free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

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@suzianne said
I'm looking for some big secret to help the process.
https://blackgirllostkeys.com/adhd/adhd-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria/

this is not the big secret

Scotty70
Opportunistic

Always working

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Yeah. Last week when the Jets intentionally threw the game against the Raiders. They should have won that game. We are 0-11 now.

Resolution. Had a couple of Jack Daniels shots and burned a jersey in effigy. Using it as a dishrag wouldn't have been cathartic enough.

But seriously, only time can mend a broken heart. Took me a long time to get over my first marriage after I put so much effort into trying to save it.

Torunn

Gothenburg

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1 edit

@scotty70 said
Yeah. Last week when the Jets intentionally threw the game against the Raiders. They should have won that game. We are 0-11 now.

Resolution. Had a couple of Jack Daniels shots and burned a jersey in effigy. Using it as a dishrag wouldn't have been cathartic enough.

But seriously, only time can mend a broken heart. Took me a long time to get over my first marriage after I put so much effort into trying to save it.
It takes two to save a marriage.

Scotty70
Opportunistic

Always working

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1 edit

@Torunn
It took me a long time to realize that too...

Torunn

Gothenburg

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@scotty70 said
@Torunn
It took me a long time to realize that too...
πŸ™‚ "Marriage counselling is often too little and too late."

Chris Guffogg
Alekhine's Gun

πŸ€” Bolton

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@divegeester said
I’m sorry to read of your pre Christmas emotional trauma, no one needs this type of grief at anytime, but least of all in the festive season.

I cannot give any meaningful advice as I don’t know you or the situation, and nor do I regard myself as being someone from whom you would take advice on a personal issue such as this.

So I’ll just leave you with this song, i ...[text shortened]... not read too much into the lyrics and yet enjoy the key message.

[youtube]RrKKt6NprVM[/youtube]
Second that...

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