17 Jan 11
Originally posted by MimorSo, the thing to do in your opinion would be to not say anything if it is going to be unkind or petty, or uninteresting to him.
Often, even in close and healthy relationships, there may be a number of reasons why a person will refrain from saying something to his or her partner. Perhaps it's unkind or petty; it may be uninteresting to him; maybe it's something the partner would overreact to or get unduly stressed about.
Sometimes the most loving and respectful act is to keep one's mouth shut.
Shouldn't all this pettyness been worked out in the dating process?
If he is leaving his dirty underwear and socks on the floor for you to pick up, shouldn't you say something about this? Or picking his nose and scratching his butt at the dinner table?
It might be loving and respectful from your point of view to keep one's mouth shut.
Eventually all these little things you have kept your mouth shut about, build up over time, and all of a suddent there is a big blow up because someone didn't put a cover back on the toothpaste.
If she asks does my butt look big in this dress, then lie, lie, lie, if you have to, or suffer the womans wrath. 😉
17 Jan 11
1 edit
Originally posted by tomtom232Again your guess is wrong...I have actually been with someone probably as long as you've been in this world.
Anything that is unimportant; perhaps something about sports(unless, of course, your partner is interested in sports), or any subject your partner isn't interested in. There are plenty of other things you probably wouldn't tell your partner but I'm guessing you've been single for a long time unless you count the women you can "afford."
What wouldn't you tell your partner, your saying plenty of things, but haven't given one single example.
All you seem to be able to do is be rude, hopefully you'll grow up someday son.
When your ready to settle down, find someone who likes most of the things you like.
That way there will be a lot more you'll be able to share, after the hot love making loses its fire. 😉
17 Jan 11
Originally posted by Very Rusty*sigh* I don't know why I bother. The nuances of relationships between complex, flawed grownups seem to be completely beyond your ken. Your views on partnerships and parenting only demonstrate that you've experienced neither.
So, the thing to do in your opinion would be to not say anything if it is going to be unkind or petty, or uninteresting to him.
Shouldn't all this pettyness been worked out in the dating process?
If he is leaving his dirty underwear and socks on the floor for you to pick up, shouldn't you say something about this? Or picking his nose and scratching ...[text shortened]... t look big in this dress, then lie, lie, lie, if you have to, or suffer the womans wrath. 😉
17 Jan 11
2 edits
Originally posted by MimorIf you were here, and I could show you how wrong you are, it would cause your face to turn a deep red.
*sigh* I don't know why I bother. The nuances of relationships between complex, flawed grownups seem to be completely beyond your ken. Your views on partnerships and parenting only demonstrate that you've experienced neither.
My views may differ from yours on relationships and bringing up children, but I don't say to you, that you have experienced neither, because that would be down right rude in a civil conversation.
It is a shame you haven't learned to be able to converse without striking out. I can't see you not being petty in your relationship actually, but then I might be the one surprised.
17 Jan 11
2 edits
Originally posted by MimorNo suprises there, really. Especially from a spotty faced teenager whose parents probably now live in different countries (and who would blame them ). He's too busy rolling on the floor with a finger up his whatsit. Jesus wept, what adult says that thirty times in a thread let alone in a lifetime. Goes with the "lols" and the smileys I suppose - day over twenty - I dont think so.
*sigh* I don't know why I bother. The nuances of relationships between complex, flawed grownups seem to be completely beyond your ken. Your views on partnerships and parenting only demonstrate that you've experienced neither.
skeeter
17 Jan 11
Originally posted by MimorI completely agree with this last statement. I keep no secrets from my husband, but I've known him only since 1997. My female friends were around to support me when I was widowed in 1996. It's fine for me to reminisce with them in private, but it's totally inappropriate to say the same things in my own home. My husband was hugely supportive and doesn't feel threatened by that topic, but as Mimor says, "sometimes the most loving and respectful act is to keep one's mouth shut".
Often, even in close and healthy relationships, there may be a number of reasons why a person will refrain from saying something to his or her partner. Perhaps it's unkind or petty; it may be uninteresting to him; maybe it's something the partner would overreact to or get unduly stressed about.
Sometimes the most loving and respectful act is to keep one's mouth shut.
17 Jan 11
I cannot believe it is possible to share everything with one particular person. It is contradictory to our unique identities. I am quite satisfied to have a group of friends who cover the different segments of my happy and sad thoughts, emotions, feelings and actions. A partner is hopefully the primus inter pares in that field of sharing listeners and mirrors.
17 Jan 11
Originally posted by Very RustyWhy do you think they put the sodding cap on the flippin toothpaste in the flippin first place??? for you to flippin well use maybe!!!!!!!!1111
... there is a big blow up because someone didn't put a cover back on the toothpaste.
I am sorry, if you haven't got the decency to pop the cap back on, then you deserve everything that is evil in life.
17 Jan 11
I watched a programme a long time ago about families. You'd think it was a comedy- this family sat around a table on a Friday evening by candle light and told each other what had annoyed them in the week that the others had done (in turns). Then if it was the first time, no apology was needed and if it was the second time then the person who had (left the cap off the toothpaste or something) had to apologies.
I agree with all the women how have posted so far- maybe it really is that women and men see things differently?? Married couples do get on each others nerves, just how it is, what with us being human and all and it's more chat worthy with friends then worth telling your partner about, because friends laugh and you realise it's no big deal.
Subjects I'd rather discuss with friends are in laws, TV shows and ofcause bragging about my amaizing off spring.
17 Jan 11
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Originally posted by SmookiePSo true. I am still sad that I let some great friends go over the years. Facebook is good for finding them again, but it's never the same once you've lost contact for a decade and lives have moved on.
Friends I can count on, I can count on one hand.. with a left over finger or two...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWyFW1siCwQ
But you! You've got a thousand on Fb haven't you smooks!!