Jokes

the most popular guy at the nudist colony can fetch a dozen doughnuts and two cups of coffee

@moonbus said
I'm researching nudist colonies; bare with me.

Aladdin got a lifetime ban from magic carpet racing!

Reveal Hidden Content

@bigdogg said
Aladdin got a lifetime ban from magic carpet racing!

Hidden content removed

Which animal has 10 legs and 9 arms?

What do you call a cat that’s been listening to too much Rock'n Roll?

Def Leppard

My wife just yells from upstairs and asks "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"

Sounding concerned, I reply, "No..."

A few seconds of silence, and then she shouts: "How about now?"

A king and a queen walks into a bar.
The bartender takes one look at them, and say:
"Sorry, I cannot serve you, you're not 21..."

i read a scientific study that reports that smoking weed befuddles memory
if that's true,
what does smoking weed do?

Dorothy was helping her husband clean his
rifle and accidently shot him. She calls 911.

911 Operator: "911. How may I help you?"

Dorothy: "It's my husband! I've accidently
shot him! I've killed him! Help me, please!"

911 Operator: "Please calm down ma'am.
Let's just take this one thing at a time.
Can you make sure he's actually dead?"

[Click]. . . . BANG !!

Dorothy: "OK, I've done that. What now?"

Why can't you trust a bard with your finances?


Because they always add more when they're recounting.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

@phil3000 said
What do you call a Spaniard that has had his car stolen ?...Carlos
Spanish archer .....El bow

@Ponderable

Pondy was a chemist,
He isn’t any more.
What thought was h2o
Was h2so4 !

@moonbus
so the cop asked the dude his name, he says Al.
Ok what's your last name? Buteral.