Jokes

phil3000

General

27 Feb 14

Great Big Stees

Joined: 14 Mar 04
Moves: 184780

04 Oct 19

Hear the one about the bald guy getting bumped to business class after passengers made fun of him?
Talk about the advantages of a reseating airline.

sonhouse

Fast and Curious

slatington, pa, usa

Joined: 28 Dec 04
Moves: 53321

06 Oct 19

-1

@Great-Big-Stees
What MAGA REALLY stands for:

Make America Grate Again.

caissad4

Child of the Novelty

San Antonio, Texas

Joined: 08 Mar 04
Moves: 618758

07 Oct 19

-1

Me : God , who created you ?
God : What , no one
Me : So you believe no one created you ?
God : Yes
Me : So you are an atheist .
God : ……………...

caissad4

Child of the Novelty

San Antonio, Texas

Joined: 08 Mar 04
Moves: 618758

10 Oct 19

If you mix laxative with holy water does that mean you have started a religious movement ?

Very Rusty

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined: 04 Oct 06
Moves: 633809

10 Oct 19

-2

@caissad4 said
If you mix laxative with holy water does that mean you have started a religious movement ?

I believe you may have a sin on your soul if you did that! 😉

-VR

Woofwoof

Joined: 06 Nov 15
Moves: 41301

10 Oct 19

@caissad4 said
If you mix laxative with holy water does that mean you have started a religious movement ?

I'm not sure, but you'd certainly have infiltrated the bowels of the organization. 🙂

Woofwoof

Joined: 06 Nov 15
Moves: 41301

10 Oct 19

@very-rusty said
I believe you may have a sin on your soul if you did that! 😉

-VR

And Very Rusty would have plenty of sheol on his shin.

Very Rusty

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined: 04 Oct 06
Moves: 633809

10 Oct 19

-2

@wolfe63 said
And Very Rusty would have plenty of sheol on his shin.

What that a joke?

According to Brichto, the early Israelites apparently believed that the graves of family, or tribe, united into one and that this, unified collectively, is to what the Biblical Hebrew term Sheol refers: the common grave of humans.

-VR

The Gravedigger

Jack Torrance

Overlook Hotel

Joined: 04 Feb 11
Moves: 49457

10 Oct 19

My co-worker is unable to attend next weeks innuendo seminar.
I have to fill her slot instead.

caissad4

Child of the Novelty

San Antonio, Texas

Joined: 08 Mar 04
Moves: 618758

12 Oct 19

-1

Q : What is the difference between Donald Trump and Benedict Arnold ?
A : Donald Trump has a higher asking price .

Woofwoof

Joined: 06 Nov 15
Moves: 41301

12 Oct 19

My cousin, a magician, decided to incorporate trapdoors into his shows.
- I think it's just a stage he's going through.

I had to disable the Carbon Monoxide detector in my house.
- The constant beeping made me feel sick and dizzy.

A cowboy counted 48 horses on his ranch.
- But when he rounded them up, he had 50.

My cross-eyed girlfriend left me.
- She was seeing someone else.

Ghost of a Duke

Joined: 14 Mar 15
Moves: 29254

13 Oct 19

-1

Do you know why no one leaves Istanbul in the winter?

It’s hard to quit cold Turkey!

Very Rusty

Treat Everyone Equal

Halifax, Nova Scotia

Joined: 04 Oct 06
Moves: 633809

13 Oct 19

1 edit

-7

@ghost-of-a-duke said
Do you know why no one leaves Istanbul in the winter?

It’s hard to quit cold Turkey!

We have a winner for the worst joke!!!

Congrats goad!!! 😛 😉

One small issue you put in the wrong thread!!! 😉

-VR

whodey

Joined: 02 Jan 06
Moves: 12857

14 Oct 19

I have a problem. I hired a trainer but I don't like to exercise on my own like he says I should. At the same time, I don't want to lie to him cuz lying is a sin after all.

My solution was to name my dog 5 miles, that way I can tell him I walked 5 miles every day.

wolfgang59

Quiz Master

RHP Arms

Joined: 09 Jun 07
Moves: 48794

15 Oct 19

@whodey said
I have a problem. I hired a trainer but I don't like to exercise on my own like he says I should. At the same time, I don't want to lie to him cuz lying is a sin after all.

My solution was to name my dog 5 miles, that way I can tell him I walked 5 miles every day.

An old but half-decent joke totally ruined by a laboured delivery.
Well done!