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the first line of yer novel

the first line of yer novel

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"Please tell me you didn't push the red button, private"


He navigated weirdly, to the consternation of all, until he reached the waterfall.


Timothy hadn’t set out to join an evil organisation and was just something he’d stumbled into while looking for work in the retail sector.

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@ghost-of-a-duke said
Timothy hadn’t set out to join an evil organisation and was just something he’d stumbled into while looking for work in the retail sector.


My friends are trying to talk me into telling them what actually took place in London 1964-65, a time that changed my life forever - I guess they are anxious to know what I might keep quiet about, but after all these years, I'm still not clear what actually happened at 46, Leinster Square in Bayswater.


@earl-of-trumps said
Lazy gulls waiting to feed, gently squawk and flap their wings
as workers file into the weather-worn wooden buildings of cannery row.
Love Cannery Row Mr Steinbeck, one of the first novels I ever read!


@petewxyz said
Love Cannery Row Mr Steinbeck, one of the first novels I ever read!
As contemporaries, I like Steinbeck more than Fitzgerald and just slightly less than Hemingway.

Classic American prose.

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My bunkmate Joe Lee was a wild kaleidoscope of a man who struggled to stay localized and focused, but eventually he succumbed to the distributive allure of post-incarnate life, as apparently had the constructors of Zotoba IV, who were not much more advanced than we when they vanished -- all of them now gone like the morning dew.


@caesar-salad said
My bunkmate Joe Lee was a wild kaleidoscope of a man who struggled to stay localized and focused, but eventually he succumbed to the distributive allure of post-incarnate life, as apparently had the constructors of Zotoba IV, who were not much more advanced than we when they vanished -- all of them now gone like the morning dew.
Too many adverbs.
But the idea could be strong.
I like it.

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And there she was...gone.

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@great-big-stees said
And there she was...gone.
(Great, but was she there, or was she gone...?)

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@torunn said
(Great, but was she there, or was she gone...?)
Gone.🤔😉

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@great-big-stees said
Gone.🤔😉
But presumably she had been there.

You're going to cover that ground with some flashbacks, right? 😉


@great-big-stees said
Gone.🤔😉
Great first line in the prose competition perhaps?

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@wolfe63 said
Too many adverbs.
But the idea could be strong.
I like it.
Thank you. It was admittedly turgid and over-freighted. Novelist and reader alike might struggle to continue. Not quite in the league of the openers for Neuromancer, Rebecca, or Anna Karenina. 😉

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