"The Causes of Atheism"

Originally posted by googlefudge
I get why some blogs clearly place trigger warning messages above posts on
certain topics.

Man did that story piss me off. Right when I'm trying to wind down before bed.

I understand that it wouldn't be helpful, and why, but man would I like to beat
the crap out of that a***.

Saying crap like that has to become utterly socially unacceptable ...[text shortened]... don't
have that luxury.


And no, I absolutely would not have given him any second chance.

This is interesting. I read that same post you did, and my reaction was vastly different. Having experienced similar, my reaction was "Eh, so what else is new." The idea that men can be utter bastards is not news to me. That it comes as news to you says much about you.

I agree with Duchess that women have to step carefully when confronting men with something they may not want to hear, and even so, must wisely pick and choose the venue and exactly what to say to keep the anticipated powderkeg under control. Even so, sometimes we misjudge the person or their reaction and it becomes dangerous.

I'm fairly small (5'3" and 110-115 lbs) so it can be scary to be in a situation like she described. Women can easily have fear even when they think they know everyone and the way they might react. Then there's the question of the woman's past and how that can magnify their fear. This is why I've taken to learning a martial art and this has helped tremendously in getting my confidence under me for the first time in about 20 years.

Just know she's not exaggerating. And some women feel it more than others.

Originally posted by Suzianne
This is interesting. I read that same post you did, and my reaction was vastly different. Having experienced similar, my reaction was "Eh, so what else is new." The idea that men can be utter bastards is not news to me. That it comes as news to you says much about you.

I agree with Duchess that women have to step carefully when confronting men with s ...[text shortened]... n about 20 years.

Just know she's not exaggerating. And some women feel it more than others.

This is interesting. I read that same post you did, and my reaction was vastly different.
Having experienced similar, my reaction was "Eh, so what else is new." The idea that men can be
utter bastards is not news to me. That it comes as news to you says much about you.

I didn't say I was surprised. I said pissed off.
I don't know what you think it says about me, but I'm not going to apologise for
being pissed off when men act "like utter bastards" towards women... [or anyone really].


Also, you seem to be under the assumption that I was suggesting that D64 should have
confronted him, and risked making him [more] aggressive and angry with no thought to her
safety... I wasn't.

I was [and I thought this was clear] saying what I would have done/felt had I been there.

The fact that women are on average smaller and physically weaker them men does mean that
unfortunately women in general have to be more cautious in dealing with aggressive men.

I think part of the solution has to be that other guys have to deal with these men.

And I don't mean white knighting, I mean that behaviour like this is not acceptable and that
thus we [men] should not accept it. And if we see such behaviour, it should be confronted.



And I never thought or suggested that she was exaggerating. You mistake me for other people.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

Most guys don't know martial arts [at all] and a majority of sexual assaults
involve alcohol [often for both parties].

So statistically the assailant is likely to be drunk and not know martial arts.

Consequently, not being drunk and knowing martial arts would significantly
increase your chances of fighting off an assailant. Now if you happen to be
being stalked by a teetotal ninja, or an armed thug/gang then learning martial
arts might not help... But that's the tiny [over reported] minority of rapes.

The overwhelming majority of rapes and assaults are by people you know, in
supposedly 'safe' environments. In which case knowing martial arts might very
well help, and if in the mean time it allows a person to live without being in constant
fear then it's worth it.

Originally posted by googlefudge

This is interesting. I read that same post you did, and my reaction was vastly different.
Having experienced similar, my reaction was "Eh, so what else is new." The idea that men can be
utter bastards is not news to me. That it comes as news to you says much about you.

I didn't say I was surprised. I said pissed off.
I don't kn ...[text shortened]...

And I never thought or suggested that she was exaggerating. You mistake me for other people.

And I really, really don't know what it is about me that you think you have to defend yourself to me. You are assuming all kinds of things that you think I am assuming. Can we just cut the bull and assume that neither of us are assuming anything and that there is no reason to be so danged defensive?

90% of what I say has no ulterior motive behind it. I assume very little, actually. And I certainly do not presume to tell you anything about *your* motives.

And actually, believe this or not, but "what [you] would have done/felt had [you] been there" didn't really factor into what I was saying at all. That was *your* point. It was not *my* point.

And I don't "mistake" you for anything. I just said "just know she's not exaggerating". She's not. It didn't really matter to me IF you thought she was or not. I was concerned mostly with my own viewpoint and agreeing with her.

You know, I do not enter every single conversation with you as an "enemy combatant", and I'm tired of being treated as if I were.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

I understand your concern. I'm not entirely stupid, I know I'm small and I have felt uncomfortable around larger men for a long, long time. I know that in a toe-to-toe knock-down fight I would be in serious danger. In most situations I am the most demure chickadee you could imagine. I realize my training is ongoing and there is always more I could learn. I don't start anything that I don't think I could finish. The reason I took up martial arts was yes, self-defense, but I don't plan on standing up big and tall and slugging someone until they stop. That would be stupid. I have been guiding my own training in ways that I use surprise to accomplish what I would not be able to otherwise. If necessary, strike quickly and decisively before they can react. Naturally if someone got the drop on me, then things could turn ugly fast, but I have the hyper-awareness of the prey animal and I do not let myself get into situations where I could be surprised. Two decades of fear has taught me this much. The way I see it, I'm just helping myself even the odds somewhat. As GF said, most men in bars have some combination of not knowing martial arts combined with the courage of alcohol and the dulling of the senses of the alcohol. Most I've encountered have been sloppy and not expecting me to defend myself. In other situations where the men may not be under the effect of alcohol, I am vigilant and tend to minimize my exposure in those situations. I know I'm not Bruce freaking Lee, so I don't feel I'm too overconfident, but I do have confidence that I can handle most ordinary situations and for the extraordinary, I try to stay out of those situations altogether. All I know is that as I said, for really the first time in 20 years, I'm not a victim of fear like I once was. I still have some fear, don't get me wrong, but I consider this somewhat normal and not the heart-stopping, gut-wrenching fear I used to have in some situations. And this alone is a blessing.

Originally posted by googlefudge
Most guys don't know martial arts [at all] and a majority of sexual assaults
involve alcohol [often for both parties].

So statistically the assailant is likely to be drunk and not know martial arts.

Consequently, not being drunk and knowing martial arts would significantly
increase your chances of fighting off an assailant. Now if you happen to ...[text shortened]... in the mean time it allows a person to live without being in constant
fear then it's worth it.

Exactly so.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

1) Women are taken less seriously as thinkers on account of sexism.
2) Women experience sexual harassment in speech or actions.
3) Women encounter sexually threatening situations.

Ayn Rand was taken pretty seriously.

But I think some woman had it right when she said "Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them."

The post that was quoted here has been removed

So while I would encourage more women to learn basic self-defence techniques, I hope they will not become overconfident, regardless of the
more optimistic claims made by people promoting the self-defence courses.
To consider a realistic scenario, let's suppose that a woman has been
trained in basic self-defence and feels confident that she can defend
herself on the street.

You are an actress ?
Do you remember Kim Novak? I think at the height of her career she got sick and tired of being treated "like a piece of meat" and left acting.
But I am not suggesting every actress do so.

I remember that Ms. Novak was vocal about Marlyln Monroe's suicide during some interview.

Now I once worked with a Philippine woman of rather short stature. She told me that once she got into a heated argument with some man in her apartment. He put his hands around her neck to shake her.

According to her, she had thought she could not remember any of the self defense moves she had learned previously. But her reflexes seemed to remember what to do. She took her hand and grabbed two of his fingers securely and instantly let her legs go out from under her. She fell to the floor on her knees and broke his fingers, separating two of them from their joints. Of course it drove the attacker into an agony.

I believed her account.